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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have you ever fallen for a friend?

53 replies

Soen · 21/08/2019 00:25

An old friend recently got in touch with me. He doesnt use sm much and it was a genuine surprise to hear from him.

We chatted about what each other had been up to for the past x years. A lot has happened to both of us in that time.

Anyway, our conversations are very frequent now. Granted it's me who messages him first but he chats away when I do. I think I'm falling for him.

Help this is weird. Maybe I'm not and it's just the feelings of not seeing each other in so long. Besides I have two kids now. Also we live at the opposite ends of the country. So chances of anything happening are slik and none.

He has no kids and is very much single.
Tell me I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Soen · 21/08/2019 01:02

Bump

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MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2019 01:16

Well the only way to tell will be to see each other. It could well be nostalgia. If you won't be able to have a relationship, realistically what's the point?

DramaAlpaca · 21/08/2019 01:19

Yes. Reader, I married him Smile Different circumstances to you, though.

The only way you'll know is to meet up again & see if there's a spark.

starfishmummy · 21/08/2019 01:48

Same as DramaAlpaca. I married "mine" too

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 21/08/2019 07:43

I also married mine. We were best friends for ten years before we kissed. His sister was bridesmaid at my first wedding. There was nothing there at all. My wedding lasted 7 years and his long term relationship lasted about the same. We weren't each other's reason for ending our relationships. We had no idea this would happen.

When we finally came together it was like the whole world made sense. We were married within two years and another six years later it is like life has finally fallen into place.

So yes, best friends can make an amazing relationship.

weewinnie · 21/08/2019 08:26

I married mine too

JacquesHammer · 21/08/2019 08:30

No but he’s my FWB though Grin

I’m a single parent, he’s very much single.

Been working for 5 years now.

Good luck OP - if there’s nothing in your way why not see what happens? Take it slowly and be kind to yourself.

SimonJT · 21/08/2019 08:36

I (very drunkenly) declared my undying love to mine after seven years of friendship, we nearly ended up married. We’re back to being just friends (and fwbs if we’re both single) and often have a good laugh at weird things we both did:

Soen · 21/08/2019 08:57

Some great stories there.

He is planning on coming to visit me so I guess I'll know when I see him in person for the first time in 15 years. We have loads in common and he is still attractive. I cant gauge if he thinks anything like that about me. I think I am probably being ridiculous. It's probably nostalgia.

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ConfCall · 21/08/2019 09:00

See how it goes! Don’t get carried away though.

Soen · 21/08/2019 09:11

I wont. Hes not made a date to visit yet but he definitely will. I'm just gonna enjoy his company as a mate when he comes to see me. Definitely wouldnt act on anything, I have kids to think of. I think it's more because we still have so much in common and we've been messaging loads. Hes just on my mind a lot. I think I'm building something up in my head that isn't real so I need to keep telling myself it isn't real. I am being totally silly to think we would ever be more than friends. And that's ok.

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babba2014 · 21/08/2019 10:33

I think stop making the effort to message first and see if he messages. You'll know then.

Soen · 21/08/2019 10:37

Yeah I think I will. Thanks all for the replies. I dont think anything will happen.

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Soen · 22/08/2019 14:01

Ahhh update. So we were chatting last night online and he said he will hopefully be coming to visit next month. This made me feel ridiculously giddy. Anyway, when we've were talking he mentioned how he loves chatting to me and he looks forward to our chats. He also made a little 'injoke' about somehting we talk about. He said 'you're the X to my Y' which I took as a good sign. I feel like a teenager all over again.

Someone give my head a wobble.

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Robin2323 · 22/08/2019 14:18

Actually this sounds very positive.

As long as you letting him chase you / him messaging you first , it sounds like the friendship is progressing nicely :)

Soen · 22/08/2019 14:25

Does it sound good? He lives so far away. Where I live isn't the prettiest place. He said 'well I'm not going there to see the town' and I was grinning like a crazy person.

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ConfCall · 22/08/2019 15:35

This seems good to me too!

Y’know, it’s nice to see a positive update on this board for once.

Purpleartichoke · 22/08/2019 20:53

Married him

IMHO, starting as friends is the best way to build a lasting relationship.

Purpleartichoke · 22/08/2019 20:58

Oh and mine lived a 3.5 hour plane ride away.

CurtainsAndCords · 22/08/2019 21:02

Yes. Married him.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 22/08/2019 21:04

Yes, I met DP many years before we got together and we were friends. Turns out he always held a wee torch for me but it took a little time before I felt the same for him. He’s 5 years younger so I think that played a role. We’re together 13 years now.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/08/2019 21:42

Keep this thread updated! Grin

Matildalamp · 22/08/2019 22:04

He sounds lovely! I want updates too!

DuploRelatedInjury · 22/08/2019 22:19

Yes. Met at secondary school, stayed friends after we left, now married with children.

Soen · 23/08/2019 09:38

The only way to know if there is anything there is to meet I guess. He might not see me as anything more than a friend. I might see him after all these years and decide nope he's definitely a friend. I'm really gonna have to play it by ear. I can't wait to see him though.

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