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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Have you ever fallen for a friend?

53 replies

Soen · 21/08/2019 00:25

An old friend recently got in touch with me. He doesnt use sm much and it was a genuine surprise to hear from him.

We chatted about what each other had been up to for the past x years. A lot has happened to both of us in that time.

Anyway, our conversations are very frequent now. Granted it's me who messages him first but he chats away when I do. I think I'm falling for him.

Help this is weird. Maybe I'm not and it's just the feelings of not seeing each other in so long. Besides I have two kids now. Also we live at the opposite ends of the country. So chances of anything happening are slik and none.

He has no kids and is very much single.
Tell me I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 23/08/2019 09:40

Another one here who married mine
Good mates at Uni but both with other people. Lost touch afterwards for 2 years but through a strange set of circumstances we met up again and it was like a thunderbolt
Been together 25 years, married 20

ThatCurlyGirl · 23/08/2019 10:03

I don't understand why you keep saying everyone should tell you you're mad!

Just see how it goes - you don't live near each other and only recently started chatting again so if it doesn't work out you won't have to awkwardly bump into each other lots or lose a friendship that has consistently been part of your life for ages.

And if it does work out then great! Chill and go with the flow OP Thanks

Original poster
Soen · 03/10/2019 21:54

Update: friend came to see me a couple of weeks ago.

He bought me a couple of really nice gifts, which I wasnt expecting. Ahhh I really like him. We still speak everyday, but still very much in friend territory. I don't think he thinks I like him. I'm playing it cool, as I don't want to mess the friendship up. I think there is definitely something there between us. But I don't want to put my neck on the line in case I'm rejected.

OP posts:
NewMe2019 · 03/10/2019 22:15

I think he's made it very plain he likes you OP. He thinks you're not interested.

StarlightLady · 04/10/2019 06:44

No need to mess about. There is noothing wrong with having sex with a good friend, providing there are “rules”. Just see what happens from there.

Original poster
Soen · 04/10/2019 18:45

Ahhh he asked me today if I liked anyone and I brushed off the comment. I'm terrible at this.

OP posts:
ConfCall · 04/10/2019 22:43

Yikes! He’ll assume you’re not interested at this rate.

I know it’s hard to put your “neck on the line” but I think you need to be less cool.

SalemShadow · 05/10/2019 15:19

Tell him you like him before he meets someone else!

NameChange84 · 05/10/2019 15:40

As a contrast to the "Reader, I married him" posts...

"Reader, like you I bottled it. Several times. I've been single for five years and have had to watch him marry someone else. Crack the fuck on or regret it for a long time."

I say it with love and to spare someone else the pain I've been through. Please tell him.

WeAreStardustWeAreGolden · 05/10/2019 15:44

Yes I married him

Robin2323 · 05/10/2019 16:33

Tell him.
Just say:

I like you and see you as more than a friend.

Then press send 😊

PlaceYourItemInTheBaggingArea · 05/10/2019 16:40

Yes, married mine 18 years ago. He can be a right pain in the arse but I love the bones of him.

Just tell him, you'll regret it if you don't. It took us a few hours of drinking vodka to erm, 'show each other how much we liked one another', I moved in the next day.

LoonyLunaLoo · 05/10/2019 16:43

I think you need to be just a little bit less cool!

Original poster
Soen · 05/10/2019 20:16

Its definitely building up to something I an feel it

OP posts:
Original poster
Soen · 05/10/2019 20:16

Can*

OP posts:
AloneLonelyLoner · 05/10/2019 20:20

And now I'm on the edge of my seat.....

AloneLonelyLoner · 05/10/2019 20:20

Text him. Immediately! Right now!

Hoppinggreen · 05/10/2019 20:22

Also married mine
Great mates at Uni but lost touch. Met up a few years later, and as soon a second I saw him I knew!!
Luckily he did too - my boyfriend wasn’t too happy though!

giantnannyknickers · 05/10/2019 20:24

Loving all the "married him" comments!

Best of luck @Soen it must be so nice to have a little flirt, connection and butterflies going on.

Text him back and say there is someone you fancy but he lives very far away

giantnannyknickers · 05/10/2019 20:25

Oh and make sure to add a Wink face At the end of the text

AgeLikeWine · 05/10/2019 20:30

Yes, DP and I were good mates for years before we got together. Twenty plus years later, we are still going strong, and we are still, first and foremost, best mates. If there is a downside to this, it’s that hearts & flowers have never had much of a place in our relationship. We would both feel pretty bloody daft reciting romantic poetry to one another.

Friendship is a far better basis for a long-term relationship than getting off with someone you fancy at a nightclub when you’re both pissed...

Lifeisabeach09 · 05/10/2019 20:46

Agree with PPs. Tell him you feel something for him or he'll move on.

IndieTara · 05/10/2019 20:49

My ( recent ) ex and I were friends for a long time. We always had undeniable chemistry and got on so well. Everybody said we should be together. We tried (twice) to make it work and it just didn't for me.
We split a couple of months ago and I think we're done.

Original poster
Soen · 05/10/2019 21:43

@giantnannyknickers I'd feel like a fool if he didnt return the feeling. I'm sure theres something there though

OP posts:
giantnannyknickers · 05/10/2019 21:59

@Soen you could spend another 12 months on this or longer and he might not like you, or you could have a little fun and see if he does?

It's ok to be vulnerable, it just shows you've invested feelings in this, so maybe text. "There is someone I like but I'm not sure they like me back. What would you do? Wink"

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