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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Made my mind up

32 replies

thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 08:59

On holiday and his behaviour has confirmed for the final time what a mean, miserable, shitty kind of person he is. Once I'm home that's it... years of emotional abuse and I'm finally seeing the light. Hand hold needed as I know I'll struggle but I can't keep doing this cycle of shittiness......enough already. I'm going to get myself some well deserved self respect.

OP posts:
Greenplums · 17/08/2019 09:02

Well done for making that decision. You are worth it. You can do it!

Humanswarm · 17/08/2019 09:24

Keep your head high, focus on the good that will come. Don't look back..we have one life and you need to live it. There ia a wealth of support and hand holding on here. I'm in the sams position as you..hear to listen!

KUGA · 17/08/2019 09:33

You wont regret it.
Good for you and good luck for the future.

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 17/08/2019 09:35

Well done. It sounds like you have been sleep walking and that now you have finally woken up. Stay determined, life will get so much better for you.

FuriousVexation · 17/08/2019 09:36

Well done OP. I had my epiphany on holiday too!

I had taken DS out in the morning and walked past a building site and got cat called. When we got back to the hotel I told "D"H about it. He knew how upsetting I found it.

We went out later that evening all together and as we walked past the same site he shouted "Oy oy lads, check out the arse on this!"

He then got a strop on because I was unhappy about that and threatened to go home on his own. LOL. He couldn't tie his fucking shoelaces let alone organise a flight home on his own without supervision. So he spent the rest of the holiday sulking in the hotel room while DS and I enjoyed ourselves.

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 09:54

Thanks all. He is so mean and aggressive so very often on his tone with me. Yet he and said to me time and time again it's me. I know it's not...

OP posts:
Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 09:55

Sorry for the grammar mistakes Blush

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 17/08/2019 09:56

Hopefully the next holiday you take you will be able to enjoy because he won't be there! :)

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 09:58

I like that idea very much pinkbonbon

OP posts:
Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 10:00

@Humanswarm have you left or in the process of leaving?

OP posts:
Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 10:00

@FuriousVexation he's done some major sulking this holiday, it's pathetic isn't it

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 17/08/2019 10:18

In the process of. The most horrific time. He can't see what's going on despite his moods, he believes we are fine. I talk and talk, I think he listens, the next day..nothing. trying my hardest to protect dcs too but when the air is hostile, its soo hard.

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 10:22

Human he threatens to leave all the time but funnily enough never has, because like an idiot I think I can change myself to suit what he wants. No bloody more... it's not me, repeat, it's not me

OP posts:
Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 15:35

Starting to feel sick with knowing what's coming... he'll make it so difficult

OP posts:
MrsMozartMkII · 17/08/2019 15:41

Life is going to be so much better lass.

Yes there will be a shit period, but once over, and even during, life is going to be so much better.

RandomMess · 17/08/2019 15:47

It will be worth it in the long run!

Get your ducks in a row on the quiet, find a solicitor for advice, have your grounds for divorce, emotionally detach and sort finances etc as best you can Thanks

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 16:17

My ducks aren't in a row yet - should I do that first do you think?

OP posts:
Icepinkeskimo · 17/08/2019 17:07

Don't lose your resolve OP, there's a whole world out there for you to seize and be happy again Thanks

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 17:36

He's so entitled and snappy. I'm finding it hard to be civil to him, he is being so bloody miserable and hardly speaking to be. When he does he snaps or just gives me a nasty look. Feel so upset

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Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 17:40

*me

OP posts:
crappyday2018 · 17/08/2019 17:41

Are you married OP? Its good to get ducks in a row first but, on the other hand, you don't want to lose the momentum you have picked up. The sooner you rip off that plaster, the better!

Original poster
thiswillbeitnow · 17/08/2019 18:03

Yes married. House in my name but assume he'll be entitled to half which I'm more than happy to give. No children thankfully.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 17/08/2019 18:06

Sort any joint finances. Be absolutely clear in your mind what you want to happen. Ie he is to leave, he can stay temporarily until he finds somewhere etc. If you want to, read, Too good to leave, too bad to stay. That was a huge eye opener for me.

crappyday2018 · 17/08/2019 18:15

If the house is in your name that is good because you can ask him to leave! See a solicitor as soon as you can. good luck to you Flowers

PixiKitKat · 17/08/2019 18:22

Did you own your house prior to being with him? I wouldn't offer him 50%!
How long have you had the house? Does he pay towards mortgage? How long have you been married?/a couple?

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