Is it okay to ask out a shop assistant?

[byteme1011]

There's a guy who works in a shop I sometimes buy lunch from. He's stuck in my head. I don't know if i'm reading too much into his friendliness. He's mentioned he's single and today he was wearing a different shirt, I said he looked like a looky looky man (realise this might be offensive, it's the sort of chat we have) and he's asked well do you prefer me like this. I just looked at him (i'm very bad at flirting and there was another shop assistant listening).
I realise he's at his work place and he's being paid to be nice to me, but tell me i'm not so (sexually frustrated) that I'm reading signals that don't exist/how do I flirt?

Is there another shop you can buy lunch from, if needs be?

No but I think my embarrassment would compel me to bring in lunch everyday (which isn't a bad thing)

If he's gone out of his way to mention he's single and asked you if you like the way he looks in a shirt, he's flirting.

Do it - you have nothing to lose! Maybe just slip him your number on a bit of paper when you next pay for your lunch

Someone asked my friend out when we we're working once, she was on the checkout. They've been married 10 years now 😁

To be honest, i'd rather see him naked than marry him
I want to do it, the worst that can happen is his colleagues get a laugh out of it, but i know i'll chicken out. I can't flirt without a bit of alcohol in me

Ask him. He probably feels he can't do the asking or he risks losing his job. It is pretty clear he likes you.

Have to ask: what’s a looky looky man?

Oh don't do it OP I used to work in retail and this happened all the time (not a stealth boast at all, it happened to anyone vaguely young and friendly). It was so, so uncomfortable.

Obviously I have no idea if he likes you, he may well do but just slide him a note with a number on it or something if you want to, don't speak to him about it when he's at work. If he ignores the note then you'll know?

Do remember you don't know him though, stay safe if giving out the phone number. I worked with a man once who was sacked because he tried to kiss a customer (without consent) whilst at work, because they'd been 'flirting' when she did her shopping. She called the police and he was sacked. There are some right weirdos about.

@JemimaPuddlePeacock people who sell tat when you're in Mediterranean tourist spots

@dontgobaconmyheart yeah i agree it must happen a lot, and at ypur workplace it's not okay. You're right it should be a slip rather than say it out loud

A friend of mine asked out the waitress in the cafe he went to. They got married.

I said he looked like a looky looky man ... i'm very bad at flirting

You’re not kidding

I don’t actually know what that phrase means, to be fair, but it’s not the smoothest line I’ve ever heard.

Had no idea what a looky looky man was either 😂

I wouldn’t do it personally but if you must then I agree number on a note.

Oh wait, I just looked it up...

If he’s still talking to you after you said that, I guess you’re quite compatible

Note means you can avoid some embarassment for both of you.

Jesus wept. I assumed it was some local slang for good looking, not s term for sellers of tat. You’re lucky he was so nice about it!!

WTAF possesses you to say that???

Leave your number with him, but bloody hell id be wary of him if he phones you after that!!

I’d hate to hear you flirting after a Dutch courage drink if this is what you’re like sober!!

Presumably the cafe assistant had no idea what a "looky looky man" meant either, simply smiled and continued to be polite, it's what he is paid to do.

Why did you label him a Mediterranean tat seller? Because of his shirt?

Number on piece of paper, delivered with a a smile. Say nothing.

never ask out someone who is in a position of deference to you where they can't escape, this is power dynamics 101 come on

(Sorry if this is a double post cant see my reply)

Im cringing now about the comment. Very bad/offensive sense of humour. He knew what it meant. Makes it worse but he did an imitation asking me to get a loyalty card.

@wifesupremacist i agree is it ever okay?

Phone number on a piece of paper. Hand it over and wait.

Ask him. Life is too short.
Plenty of other places to buy lunch.
Do it.
My ex-colleague asked me out years ago and I kept saying no. I didn't want to lose a good friend despite liking him so much. He asked again four years ago and I said no. How he still hung around I don't know. I've had so much happen to me these past two years that finally I thought he makes me happy give it a go and he promised I'd never lose his friendship no matter what happened between us. And I'm so glad I did. We are so compatible and happy, I really wish I'd gone for it when he asked me all those years ago!!

I’m sorry not the answer your question but I need to know more about what made him look like a ‘looky kooky’. As far as I recalled tourist tat sellers don’t look a particular way?