Is it okay to ask out a shop assistant?

[byteme1011]

There's a guy who works in a shop I sometimes buy lunch from. He's stuck in my head. I don't know if i'm reading too much into his friendliness. He's mentioned he's single and today he was wearing a different shirt, I said he looked like a looky looky man (realise this might be offensive, it's the sort of chat we have) and he's asked well do you prefer me like this. I just looked at him (i'm very bad at flirting and there was another shop assistant listening).
I realise he's at his work place and he's being paid to be nice to me, but tell me i'm not so (sexually frustrated) that I'm reading signals that don't exist/how do I flirt?

You sound perfect for each other as I haven’t got a clue what you are both on about ( he did an imitation whilst saying something about a loyalty card? )

Looky looky men, as they are pejoratively known (didn’t know people still used that...) generally come from “north Africa and sub-Saharan countries” so presumably he was wearing a brightly patterned shirt and did some sort of racist impression. You seem quite well suited.

It was a brightly coloured shirt with 'oh look here' etc. He didn't do a racist impression. He said 'you looky, loyalty good for you'. I realise others will disagree but I don't think it's racist. Offensive, yes.

Well, you sound well suited

Just pass him your number and say if he ever fancies meeting up to give you a call. The worst that can happen is his colleague will snigger.

The example you gave of what he said was deliberately poor English to take the piss. You're both a pair of arses.

If he's black then that is a bit offensive...on another note there used to be looky looky men and woman in club/bar toilets they used to say "freshen up, have a lollipop" yada yada the ones in Greece were a bit more sinister.

This is how my mum and dad met

Can’t you just pass him your number?

DId you do it op?

Sounds racist but ok.

I thought a looky looky man was someone who looked good. 🤔

You must be made for each other if you know what offensive stereotypical/racist words are. Ask him out.

I thought everyone knew what a looky looky man was! I don’t think anyone I know doesn’t.
Anyway I worked in Tesco and was asked out once, in front of my boss. It was so embarrassing and I had a boyfriend at the time. It was brave of him though and looking back if I was single at the time and it wasn’t before the days of Facebook where I could have just added him to scope him out maybe something would have happened.
I work in a cafe now and I’ve had the odd person find me on Facebook (small village tearoom) everyone knows everyone and message me to say I look nice etc. I can see how romances can potentially start to be honest but then it is a fine line as you say, as we have to be friendly. Maybe casually say “I’ll have to add you on Facebook so I can see more of those shirts!” And just see his reaction? If it’s of horror then step away!

Definitely had to google it, I’ve never heard anyone say Looky Looky man. But if it’s a racist term then that’s probably why I haven’t heard it!

@PumpkinP im mon-fri (bit scared after this thread)
@Somewhereovertherainbow321 thanks for your perspective, (i was hoping for more folk who work customer facing to respond to this thread as it's hard to judge the line). Are you okay with people adding you up on fb? I do feel like a female working customer facing bantering with customers doesn't mean said customer should ask her out. But i want to do the same thing? it's sexist because he's a man.

Looky looky are people who try to sell their wears saying 'looky looky'. Just people who are trying to sell you stuff. He was wearing a promotional shirt to get a loyalty card with a shirt saying 'look here'. What's the point of getting offended on someone else's behalf?

Worked for me. Married 18 years.

Oh and I’ve never heard ‘looky before either.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all, it’s a natural place to meet.
Me and my man met in similar circumstances x

Having read through these replies again, I wont say the term ever again. I can see after googling it why it's racist, I didn't intend to cause offence and dark humour isn't an excuse.

People get offended on behalf of others too easily these days.

Slip him a note and go for it. In this world of online dating (glad that never existed when I was in my 20s) it's great to hear something like this!

God no. You have no way of knowing if he's just being polite.

If a guy did that to me in a shop, I'd be so creeped out.

Priceless

@byteme1011 I don’t mind them adding me but seen as i’m engaged I don’t respond if they message me But I def think saying to him “I’ll have to add you so I can see more of these shirts(or whatever reason you want to give) is a subtle way to get an idea. If he says great and gives you his name, I would then wait and see if he messages you. If he says he doesn’t have Facebook or whatever, he might then say but here is my number.

No idea why the angry face that wasn’t meant to be there, that’s what being up with a toddler at 3.45am does to you!

I’ve heard looky looky a lot of times it’s because they all seem to say “come here, looky looky!” They say it whether they are black, white, Chinese or whatever it tends to be their catchphrase?