His secret is out...

[mordecaithomas]

23 weeks pregnant and I've been no contact with the father for over a month.

I posted a thread a while ago, not sure if anyone would remember. He lied to everyone, told his family there was no chance it could be his and asked me to "take the dna from another man" when they ask for proof after birth (which they want). He's been horrendous throughout the whole pregnancy. Then I found out he had a new girlfriend and he told me she had no idea and he didn't intend on telling her. From that point I'd had enough and decided to go no contact and haven't heard from him for over a month.

Last night, I got a message request from his girlfriend. She'd found my Instagram and seen my photos and asked me how I knew him and if the baby was his.

I had to tell her the truth. I feel absolutely awful.

She's only 20 years old and she now thinks her world has blown apart and I feel absolutely horrendous. She's the same age as my youngest sister and I feel so fucking terrible for her.

I don't even know why I'm posting this... I've just woken up from the worst nights sleep after speaking to this poor girl for a couple of hours last night. Terrible dreams about the baby's father.

Eurgh.

Can only hope for the best that she does

I think you did the right thing in not lying to her, but for your own sake and the sake of your baby, I think you need to close the dialogue with her. Wish her well and hope that everything works out for her.

He seems like I complete dick (I remember reading your last thread). You are better off without him, and if he has lied about knowing you after she seen pick of the two of you, then more fool him!!

I hope your OK OP. You deserve so much better!

I definitely need to back away.

Sad thing is, I'm sure this won't be the last time. ☹️

She has been very kind towards me, which makes the situation slightly easier. But I deffo don't need this drama. I'm very tired and worn out as it is!

To this day I still get women tracking me down with questions about the abusive ex. It's horrible, but it's part of the aftermath. Some are lovely, some come shouting the odds - even though I haven't seen him in years!

I tell them what happened, I tell them he will tell a pack of lies about it because he is a liar, and then I tell them I will be blocking them, because I block anyone who has any contact with him. But just interacting with me shows them I'm not the crazy person he makes out I am.

Be prepared, because she probably won't be the last.

Poor woman. At least you've given her the evidence for her to know that he's lying to her every time he opens his mouth

Gaslighting prick.

Yeah, I know for definite that this girl won't be the last.

He's definitely gaslighting her for sure.

Complete and utter scumbag

Don't feel awful he needed to be outed for it.

Consequences and all that

That's awful, how can he deny his own child.

I wouldn't have anything to do with him op. Block him on every possible point of contact.

Reading your original post, I was struck by this bit:

there was no chance it could be his and asked me to "take the dna from another man" when they ask for proof after birth (which they want).

Well, you can get it from the other man, but I'd bet any money, he'd demand DNA from every other male in Britain aged 18-80 before he surrendered his own. It would be easy to exclude himself by giving it up now, first, before anyone else, but no. Because he knows he's the father.

But would be gentle with his new girlfriend - message her saying that you've told her everything you know, you can't tell her what to do, but you have to protect yourself now and that you will have to block her.

@TheSecondMrsAshwell when he said about taking DNA from another man, he meant anyone else but him so he could take those "results" back to his family to say categorically the child wasn't his. It wasn't to take it from the "other" man because there wasn't one and he knows that. He just wanted me to purposely bodge it for when his family asked for proof.

It's all been a mess.

But yeah, I blocked him well over a month ago and intend to keep it that way indefinitely now.

Actually not sure I explained that very well 😂 but basically he wanted me to take a swab from another male and label it as being him.

Actually not sure I explained that very well 😂 but basically he wanted me to take a swab from another male and label it as being him.

Which is what Colin Pitchfork did to avoid being caught as Lynda Manns killer ... (didn't work, by the way).

@ProfessorSlocombe this is true!

I read the book - very interesting. I recommend it to True Crime fans

Joseph Wambaugh - The Blooding

basically he wanted me to take a swab from another male and label it as being him.

WTF? I read it as he's decided you'd slept with someone else and the DNA test would prove it.

That's...... That's..... No, I need a lie down to get my head round that.

Block? I'd build a whole pyramid!

You must miss Jeremy Kyle OP! Sounds right up your street.

@Howyiz No, I hated it and I hate this situation. But thanks.

@TheSecondMrsAshwell building a pyramid as we speak 😂

Really why the OTT drama about how devastated she is. She barely knows him, she was dating him for 5 WEEKS!
You spent HOURS talking to her, Why? If you dislike the drama stop taking part in the play.

Sounds to me like you are feeding into the drama. Stop messaging people , stop sending copies of messages , stop reading other people's messages ,get off social media block their phone numbers. job done. If you wish to have contact with him regarding the baby go through a solicitor.

try not to get stressed or anxious OP. Look after yourself and your baby.

You've been as honest and fair as you can. That's all you can do. Let her make her decision now. Pray it's the right one, but block and move on now.

I disagree that the OP's fed the drama. She understands what it is to be drawn in by this manipulator and has empathised with a young woman who maybe doesn't have as much life experience. As opposed to shrugging and saying your problem now I'm moving on she's hopefully given this young woman some insight I bet she wishes she'd had to make a decision to take a different path. Nothing wrong with looking out for other people. I agree with now stepping back and I'm sure she will.