Is marriage hard work?

[mummmmeee]

Just that really.

For me, no. But it's not always a bed of roses either.

Hard work? No. Disappointing? Yes.

My marriage is blissful and easy! I don’t understand why people stay if it’s hard work. I get there will be trials but to actually find it consistently hard work is not living life!

How long have you been married Skittle? I've been with this one for more than 20 years.

Yes

I think marriage without kids is easy in comparison to marriage with kids. When you have kids you have to think for the whole family.

When no kids, you have more time and less people's to think about.

DH and I had a wonderful marriage. We adored each other. It was never “work”. He was the love of my life. He rescued me from my abusive parents, showed me what love is, cared for me, did more than half the chores, and was a brilliant daddy to our babies, right up to his death at 36. I still miss him, 27 years later. I wish the DC had memories of him, but he died before DD2’s first birthday.
I think if a marriage is hard work, there’s something wrong with it. Unless my DH was exceptional - which I’m quite prepared to believe!

Op, re. Message naked woman, do you believe it was porn??

No. It shouldn't be. You're not always going to agee or be in lovely moods, but you shouldn't have to be dancing a merry dance in order to avoid arguments.

@BlackSwan we’ve been married for two years but together for 11.

Mine has always been hard and I’m not sure why we had kids together really as it’s made it so much harder. Looking back, I wish I’d never done it. I should have been brave and waited and found somebody more compatible/kind/patient but he’s very charming and charismatic and I fell for the persona. On the inside he’s selfish, emotionally retarded and has a vicious tongue when he doesn’t get his own way. All those things make it hard work to be married to him. My advice to anyone would be to pick a kind and patient partner over and above looks/charm. Pick somebody who will happily do things for you. Pick somebody who doesn’t have a nasty temper and will always see your good side

No, you should both benefit from a relationship. Life should not be harder for it.

People do go through tough ‘times’...but your relationship should help you through these rather than be the cause of them.

I’m so sorry Babdoc. Your post made me cry. To lose your best friend at 36 is so unfair. Glad you got to experience such a special person xx