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Original poster

Does size matter?

31 replies

Notverycreatiive · 13/08/2019 17:40

So... Does the size of a diamond in an engagement ring matter? I love my partner to bits and she's not materialistic in the slightest, I believe I could purpose with a haribo ring and she'd be over the moon.. however, I have quite bad anxiety and always worry what other people will think.. I can't help it, and I don't want her friends or work colleagues to think I've skimped or that I mustn't really care? I dunno, does anyone really care? Is it ever the topic of conversation?

Next up, the proposal.. I'd love to make a big grand gesture and be super romantic and in my head I can be, I just can't ever make it happen irl.

Again, I then worry that when someone asks how I proposed, the story won't be very exciting for her.

I know she is crazy about me and she honestly wouldn't mind how or with what it was done with, she has a beautiful soul, but I'm always worried about how people will perceive it.

She's visiting her family at the end of the month so I really want to do it before she goes back, I know her family would be very happy with the news too!

Any advice or personal experiences will be very welcomed.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 13/08/2019 17:42

Go with your gut, don't over think. She sounds a very lucky lady. Good luck xx

Miniloso · 13/08/2019 17:48

Size of diamond doesn’t matter but I think the best quality you can buy is a good idea. Small but a good colour and sparkly! Doesn’t really matter where you propose - sounds like you are a lovely guy and she’ll be over the moon!

Miniloso · 13/08/2019 17:49

Or should I say as colourless as possible!

loveyoutothemoon · 13/08/2019 17:50

Oh you sound delightful!

Stick with your budget or maybe a little more, but don't make yourself bankrupt!

The proposal, what about at the top of tall building overlooking a city or on top of a hill overlooking beautiful countryside, take a picnic.

Depends where you live, you could ride on a boat in a lovely park, on top of a mountain?

Throughabushbackwards · 13/08/2019 17:53

My husband proposed to me sitting on the sofa in our tiny apartment. He had no ring at the time, he had one made afterwards by a small local jewellery designer using my great aunt's diamond that I had inherited.

I think a big cheesy public proposal and an enormous shop bought diamond would have had me cringing, but I know that's some people's ideal.

I know another couple who became engaged then some months later went shopping for an antique ring together whilst on holiday, so there's no one way to do it.

Mileysmiley · 13/08/2019 17:53

I have always wanted to be proposed to on the top of The Empire State Building ... instead it was at our local pub and not very romantic.

loveyoutothemoon · 13/08/2019 17:57

@Mileysmiley haha!

Lostinspacecakes · 13/08/2019 17:58

I was proposed to in our local park on a Tuesday evening. All our kids were there playing football! He’d stashed a picnic and a bottle of fizz in the boot of the car. Even put stuff in for the kids. It cost nothing but couldn’t have been more perfect. Diamond isn’t huge, but it’s a good quality one.
She sounds like a very lucky girl indeed

loveyoutothemoon · 13/08/2019 17:58

You've GOT to tell us what you eventually decide and how it goes!

LittleWing80 · 13/08/2019 18:01

Size doesn’t matter nor does the cost. Regarding how, think about her and what she likes (is she shy? Likes attention? etc) but you sound so lovely, I’m sure you will get it right :). Good luck!

EskewedBeef · 13/08/2019 18:05

DH went very low key on the ring and proposal, and regrets it (we don't ever mention it, and I don't wear the ring). I think he'd had a panic and rushed into it without any thought or planning. Of course we got married and it didn't affect our happiness or relationship, but it would be nice if we could reminisce about it and if DH didn't have to shift uncomfortably every time a proposal is mentioned or shown in TV Grin

Pieceofpurplesky · 13/08/2019 18:06

What sort of person is she? Does she want diamond? A friend has the most beautiful opal engagement ring (with diamonds). It was from Etsy I think - vintage.

Make the proposal simple and intimate. A beautiful place, with a gorgeous view - and whip out the champagne when she says yes.

Mileysmiley · 13/08/2019 18:08

My engagement ring was designed by me and made by a friend who worked at the jewelry quarter in Birmingham. I do love it but I would like a new one for my milestone birthday this year.

Proseccopanda · 13/08/2019 18:11

My DH proposed in a hot air balloon ride he'd got me for my birthday. I promptly lost the ring, but we found it a few weeks later thankfully 😅

Ring wise, go with something that is her taste and whatever you can afford. Bigger doesn't always mean better. My engagement ring is a simple platinum band with several smaller diamonds in a line. Proposal wise, something simple but thoughtful and you can't go wrong. Like a picnic in a favourite spot, or meal in her favourite restaurant. Even in your back garden (if you have one) decorated with fairy lights and flowers/petals.

I'm sure she will love whatever you do. Good luck!

Mythreefavouritethings · 13/08/2019 18:29

I am ready to be shot down but genuinely love, respect and fidelity are the biggest things you can offer. I would happily wear a hula hoop (albeit salt and vinegar) in exchange for those. There are many people who can give you the fairytale stories on the other side of the divorce courts. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks, if they are still in the position to judge her engagement jewellery in many years to come, trust me you are winning. All the best to you both x

theydontknowweknow · 13/08/2019 18:34

Size definately doesn't matter (or the cost!) I'd wear my engagement ring regardless because I love DP and it was bought by him with lots of meaning and thought. For the proposal, why don't you choose somewhere that's sentimental to both of you or has she ever mentioned how she'd like it? She sounds very lucky!

SandyY2K · 13/08/2019 18:35

Personally, I wanted to choose my own ring. So my preference was a proposal and then we went ring shopping together.

So buy something cheap/nice (cubi zirconia) to propose and tell her she can choose the ring she wants.... within reason.

She knows you're not rolling in money and will be sensible, as I was.

Anotherusername987 · 14/08/2019 14:20

I don't think size matters but she will wear this ring for the rest of her life, she sounds like she would be happy with whatever you choose or could afford.

I am also not materialistic but would like a nice ring should my boyfriend propose because it would be something I would never want to take off. Everyone see romance differently. I am divorced with two children from my first marriage, as is my boyfriend. I'm not one for bit gestures but something thoughtful would be nice. I would love a proposal with something like a summers day, picnic in the park with the kids playing or climbing trees (as they are part of our life we are building together).

user1480880826 · 14/08/2019 14:25

@Mileysmiley you want a new engagement ring for your birthday?! Bloody hell, you sound like hard work Confused

Parent999 · 14/08/2019 14:26

Do you have a "business meeting" in Paris soon? if your partner wouldnt be bored you suppose she could tag along, its only for a night.

Anotherusername987 · 14/08/2019 14:27

And very quiet, not on one knee, just a thing between us. In my eyes its about me and him and our children, not a show for the public.

However should he want a bit public announcement, I'd be just as happy with that as even thought I tell him I don't want to be broadcast publicly, I actually like it when he wants to show me off.

Thingsdogetbetter · 14/08/2019 14:36

I choose my own very plain silver band with tiny ruby set into the band. I love it. It suits me. I've seen some looks of 'that's not an engagement ring style and it's tiny' from people (usually woman) and I really don't care. I'm the one wearing it and I hate traditional engagement ring style. The idea of someone else picking a piece of jewellery for me, that I am expected to wear forever, would fill me with dread!!

Propose with a nice appointment card from a jeweller that you think she'll like and within budget. With a champagne lunch or dinner booked somewhere for afterwards. Make a day of the shopping, dress up etc. A day's memory together seems like a much nicer idea than a moment of producing ring she may not like.

mummmy2017 · 14/08/2019 14:42

A friend and know, proposed outside a jewellers, with a haribo ring, then took his girlfriend inside and told her his budget so she could choose her own....
She loved it, as had no idea, he normally pulled her away from the shop.

BigFatLiar · 14/08/2019 14:52

Propose and then buy the ring together so she gets one she likes and you can afford.

TheChain · 14/08/2019 15:16

I got proposed to with an actual haribo ring!

I said yes because I love him and it didn’t matter Grin

I think got to pick a gorgeous ring myself - I would advise letting her do this, I didn’t think I was picky about what I liked until I actually had to decide. None of my friends who were proposed to with a ring actually really like it and didn’t have the heart to tell their partners. They love what the rings represent obviously, but not the actual rings Blush

Also nice rings don’t have to cost a lot... mine is from a second hand jewellers and cost £900 (which is pretty cheap as far as engagement rings go!) and has almost 1 carat of diamonds in it. It’s absolutely beautiful.