Shagged and pied

[fandabbyfannyflutters]

He's married so it's karma I guess but it bloody stings. I feel sorry for his wife.
He's now blocked and I feel like I want to destroy him

Id take the fucker down! Im a wife i would want to know, tell her.

Seem to be in the minority here but I would leave the wife alone and focus on you and finding a great next guy

@allymcn ahh how is your lovely wife? Still think you are the perfect husband does she? What a pathetic weasel dick you are

I’d leave the wife alone. There was a recent post where the wife was cheating and most advised not to tell the husband.

See I don't think the wife deserves to be hurt

But he does

I’d leave the wife alone. There was a recent post where the wife was cheating and most advised not to tell the husband.

But in those posts, the cheater usually says 'I've cheated and I feel terrible, the guilt is eating me up and I won't ever do it again' which I suspect is why they're often told to keep it to themselves and consider it a lesson learned. I don't agree with the advice to lie and keep it to yourself but I can see how the situations differ and why the responses may be different. We have no idea how often this man is cheating or which STDs he's bringing home to his wife or if he's guilty, remorseful and unlikely to ever cheat again.

Wouldn't be my usual response, I can't stand cheaters but I'd say don't go messaging the wife in this one.

Banangana But that was one snog.
She didn't shag him.

OP, this isn't really your fault.
You didn't know.

I know you say the wife doesn't deserve having her whole world ripped apart but..... she is with a cheater and doesn't know it.
He could be exposing her to all sorts of STDs.
She could end it a find a lovely man who doesn't cheat on her.
It could be the missing piece of the jigsaw for her.
You get seriously paranoid when you 'know' something is going on but have no proof.

His wife would absolutely want to know.

If you were married OP wouldn't you want to know if your husband was screwing around? Or would you want to be the last to know?

hellsbellsmelons I think there are two similar threads currently running. On one of them the wife had slept with someone else.

OPs concern isn't about him being married, it's about him sleeping with her & ignoring.

We know nothing else.

I'm not about the ow/ons/bots messaging just to get back at him for ignoring.

OP if you feel better for doing it, it will be short lived. If you knew then that's a different case but if you genuinely didn't draw a line. Put it down to experience & you'll soon forget about it.

@Banangana it was the gym instructor one

I wouldn't advise the other woman to message the wife out of spite because the man doesn't want to see her anymore.

If rather know through spite then never know my husband is shagging a continuous string of women.
Did he use a condom op?

He didn't want to but I insisted

So he's also happy to pass on whatever STI's you all might have to her. You aren't the only one. Tell her. You did not hi g wrong, but you can do something right

Is it continuous women? Ons? Affair? As I said earlier we know nothing of the situation.

OP you're reluctant for a reason. If you really feel awful that you've had a horrible part to play in the demise of her marriage, come clean & tell her but if it's just to get back at him try to do your best to move on from this grotty situation.

You're not to blame, but that'll no doubt grow arms & legs.

I would rather get back at him not her

I'm with you on that one

This happened to my sister. Met someone she liked, had sex, found out afterwards he was in a relationship. He had blocked her on all social media the day they met so she couldn't look him and see he had a girlfriend. He even gave her a none working mobile number. Some awful men out there!

@fandabbyfannyflutters
I know you feel you would break her heart but trust me she would want to know. Forget about getting back at him, he is a pathetic loser, not worth your time.

She doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. She is probably being gaslighted into thinking she is paranoid or controling right now. Or she goes around saying she has an amazing marriage whilst oblivious she is being humiliated. Or she might risk her health (the guy tried to convince you to not use a condom!).
I’m a great believer women should stick together and by telling her you’d be doing her a favour. I think women who have been on the wife’s side of the fence would probably agree with me.

Hate comments towards the OW are ridiculous especially when she doesnt know she is the OW!

OP if you do decide to tell her, make sure you take all feelings of what he did to you out of it because what he's did to her is way worse. Your feelings will be a drop in the ocean compared to what she'll go through.

Ignorance probably won't wash & although you didn't know you & her husband have slept together. I assume this will be done through Facebook? It's going to be extremely difficult. That's why I dont think you should do it from a place of spite, it has to be purely for concern.

Woman to woman you must let his wife know. It's really not your fault he lied to you the wife obviously has instincts so she might know she married a cheater and I know she would appreciate this info. Just make it clear that he lied to you and you did not know he was married. Don't feel bad about what's happened feel bad if the wife don't find out. She needs to know don't give him the chance to do it to her again. Anyway she may even thank you. He will most likely die inside so best of both worlds. It's hard but let her know.

Don’t message the wife, it won’t make you feel better. Just hold your head high and move on. Sorry that he’s done this to you, it’s very hurtful, but dong be apart of any more hurt going forward. I hope you meet someone who treats you well.