How would you feel if your dm smacked your 9yo?

[JellyPeanut]

Just this really. I feel bloody angry but my dm is 70 - another generation. I haven't found out all the details yet.

She'd never get within 50 yards of him again. I have zero tolerance for people who hit children. No exceptions.

It doesn't matter that she is from another generation - it still isn't right. I'm in that generation and I'd never dream of laying a hand on any child. Your mother doesn't have any excuse for this - you need to have a talk to her about it and make sure she knows it's not acceptable at all, ever.

I feel bloody angry but my dm is 70 - another generation

Meh, my Nanna is 20 years older and wouldn't dream of it.

Age is not an excuse. It's not ok. Ever.

Eek if my DS had a child I wouldn't dare touch it. Not my child not my right to do whatever I want.
What on earth happened there. What did your 9 year old do.

It doesn't matter what generation she's from, she's not his mother. You don't hit someone else's child. You shouldn't be hitting your own, but that's not the issue here.

I would tell her to apologise. And if she didn't, she wouldn't see her granddaughter. I would also be extremely wary about ever leaving her alone with her again.

I would be absolutely furious and make it clear to get that if it ever happens again she wouldn't be seeing her grandchild again.

The age thing is a red herring . I know none of my DMs friends who are similar ages would lay a finger on their DGcs .
Unless she has form for this I would
1 Worry that she might have something going on in her life/health that is so very stressful that she cant talk about it.
or
2 Want to know what the 9 year old was doing that drove a (presumably) non violent Gran to violence.
Something has caused this if its not the norm .You need to find out what was going on .

Age doesn’t matter. She assaulted your son.

She wouldn't be seeing my child unsupervised again.

(ok, I can potentially imagine a scenario where child was not paying attention and was about to walk in front of a lorry and it was a split second panic thing, but this seems relatively unlikely)

Even my mad mum knows that's not OK anymore.

Is this normal for her? Or could it be a symptom of dementia?

Was it definitely a smack? Or is there hyperbole?

Definitely a good smacking I believe As I said, I'm waiting to hear the full details. Ds not home yet.

That would be it - she knows my views.

my dm is 70 - another generation.

That is no excuse! My DM is 77 and never raised a hand to me, let alone my children. Anyone that hit my child would never have the opportunity to do it twice.

A "good smacking"? She'd never be in the same room as him again.

I'd smack her

Mine wouldn't do it though

I went no contact. Haven’t spoken to my dad in 7 years.

I’m still in contact with my grandparents (my dads parents) they know not to mention him to me at all

A good smacking? So a sustained assault. Please think about how you would feel.if she did this to you. It is not acceptable to beat a child just because they are unable to defend themselves. Please choose your son.

Where I grew up "a good smacking" meant multiple whacks, probably delivered standing up held firmly by the upper arm. Is that what has happened?

In my book that's much worse than a single swat delivered perhaps as a reflex reaction to danger or extreme bad behaviour, which I may well forgive.

Is he still with your mother?

Homicidal.

My mother knows you lay one hand on my kids, and it's all over rover. It's amazing the level of self control she now has.

Oh, and my mother is in her eighties.

I would also, as another pp stated, be concerned that there was something going on with her healthwise. Once I got over the red mist that would have descended finding out she'd laid hands on my child. So maybe a couple of years out.

Your mother has given your child "a good smacking" and your child is still with her? Why haven't you gone and rescued them?

I was smacked as a child but my mum realised even before dd was born 15 years ago that it was no longer considered acceptable and she regretted doing it even though it was considered to be ok when I was growing up and certainly wasn't seen as abuse in those days unless it was a very hard beating. Times have changed and I think most people of that age do know that spanking is very much frowned on in general and whether their own dc would agree with doing it.