Is it even worth making me ill for? He's hot and cold.

[laceytin]

Been seeing him since may.
I don't know where I stand with him.
Some days he is non stop texting me then other days it's like he doesn't want to know me.
Thursday/Friday was great..great conversation then last night and today like pulling teeth
I text him at 8am and we exchanged a few messages.
Then I text him again at 11am and a few again but it felt like he wasn't making conversation.
It's making my anxiety sky high.
We last text over a hour ago and the last message he sent was a few words so I didn't reply,now nothing since then.
Am I being silly ?

Why the need for so many texts? That would get annoying.

Sounds a bit clingy tbh.

I text him at 8am and we exchanged a few messages.
Then I text him again at 11am and a few again
It's making my anxiety sky high.
We last text over a hour ago.
Am I being silly?

Yes. Jesus. Why do you need to text him so much? Isn't he allowed to have a life or do anything by himself, or must he always be free to text you?

You sound clingy and needy, and I'm afraid I wouldn't put up with you.

What's he like when you're together?

No man is worth making yoirself ill for

The thing is he's the same certain days too.
He texts me a lot one day then the next maybe not as much .

Maybe he's doing something else?

Oh for God's sake that's what a few hours between texts. I'd have ditched you by now if you were pestering me like that.

No man is worth making yoirself ill for

Well, no, @AnyFucker, but the op's partner's behaviour isn't necessarily making her ill. Sounds like she's making herself ill by getting so stressed about whether or not he replies to her texts.

Op should not be dating then if it makes her "ill"

It's because every day is different with him.
Some days lots of contact then others hardly any and it's me making conversation

Throw your phone in the sea. Seriously stop texting him. I cannot decide who is stalking who here.

Some days he's busy, some days he's not?!

The constant messaging would drive me mad personally. How have people even got time for this much contact??

Everyday is different, because that's life.

I presume you don't do the same thing day in day out. Some days are busier than others.

I don't see the need for non stop texting throughout the whole day.

If it's making you I'll, then end it and find someone that doesn't cause your anxiety to rise.

If a relationship is making you ill it's not the right relationship.
That being said if someone expected text contact every couple of hours from me I'd be running a mile.

What’s he like when you’re together? That’s all that really matters. Chill out about messaging each other, it’s weird. Unless it’s urgent I don’t respond to messages when I’m out and about, at work or with other people. So there’s probably a window of a couple of hours a day where I’m free to immediately respond to messages. The rest of the time I’ll leave it until I am free, normally 3-4 hours later. I think that’s fairly standard isn’t it? No reason to make yourself ill surely.

I can guarantee you that if you continue down the route of texting him constantly, he will get bored because the chase is over. Leave him to contact you.

lacey save the conversation for when you’re together. If you have to message him everyday can’t you just send a quick ‘morning, what are you up to today? I’m going to ....’ in the morning and a ‘goodnight’ before bed. Someone messaging me more than that would drive me nuts.

Have you looked in to attachment styles?' Next time you're having an episode of anxiety, go on to youtube and look up explanations of anxious attachment.

He sounds flaky

You sound a bit nuts tbh. Even married people talk more one day than the other.

He talks to you a lot on the days he's lying on the sofa binging Netflix, and less on the days when he's got a crisis at work or is out with friends. Sounds completely normal to me.

I feel like I sort of understand where you’re coming, do you feel he controls the speed and type of the communication I.e when you think he’s running cold, you back off then when you haven’t given him his attention he’s used to he will be messaging you non stop then as soon as you’re messaging him at his faster speed he will slow down or even ignore some of your messages?

Yes pretty much.
Like Thursday for example he was messaging lots then Snapchats and then the day after if I up the communication like he did,he doesn't reply as much.
It's driving me mad.
I really don't know where I stand with him.
Today it's been me messaging him and he hasn't initiated once today.

Does he have children? Other commitments?

We last text over a hour ago

One hour and it's triggered you posting here?

That's very unhealthy, OP. You need to get a grip on this.