Would you want to know if your adult DC did drugs?

[Nonotmenori]

I'm broken beyond broken. I'm not a stupid person. I'm clued up. So why did I fall in love with a 'man' who's a cocaine addict? I won't bore you all with how stupid I am/have been.

I've been stupid enough to put up with being physically, mentally and emotionally abused. Because I honestly thought I was special enough for him to change. I guess what I want to know is if this was your son, would you want to know if he's a drug addict? This isn't me being malicious I'm not that type of person, but as a mother, I know I'd want to know and I guesss I'd like others thoughts before I finally seal the final nail in the coffin.

How old is he?
As an adult, his mother isn't responsible for his actions.
Your best bet would be encouraging him to get help before you involve his family.

I don't think secrecy helps, especially since he is abusive and family need to be aware as they may also be at risk? Im thinking keeping quiet continues the pretense that nothing is wrong?

Im also thinking he may be unlikely to seek help until he feels it is necessary, whenever or if ever that may be

He's 31 and still lives at home with his parents. He won't get help because he doesn't think he's got a problem... They've no idea due to their age (70's) he does at least 30-40 lines a weekend maybe more. That can't be normal? I'm not trying to be vicious, but I'm couldn't live with myself if he died on drugs and I didn't say anything. I'd feel like I had blood on my hands iyswim?

I've an issue with drugs because when he was 17 I worked with a girl who was hard on them and her body was discovered 5 weeks after she overdosed and I swore then and there I'd never touch the stuff (I'm mid 30's) I do wonder if I'm being ott

Iwasatglastothisyear
How old is he?
As an adult, his mother isn't responsible for his actions.
Your best bet would be encouraging him to get help before you involve his family.
--

I agree
You say your partner is a cocaine addict - are you sure he is an addict as opposed to a user? How much does he use in a week?

This is interesting, get him to read it: www.drugfreeworld.org/drugfacts/cocaine/effects-of-cocaine.html

My dd had a drug habit. It left me heartbroken.
I would be very surprised if his parent's didn't know.

I swear he's an addict not a user. Honestly we would be here all day o. The examples I could give.

His parents haven't a clue. They're elderly and think he's just drunk.

I'd want to know. Doesn't matter how old they get, they are still your kids.
And just because his parents are in the 70s does not mean the grew up in the stone age. They would've been in their 20s during the 70s...... I'm sure they are fully aware of drugs

Rachel I'm telling you he wouldn't read anything. He Dan stop whenever he wants... apparently 🙄 living his best life or so he says.. Im Currently sat in a hotel room by myself after being accused of cheating with I've no idea whilst he's gone home no doubt to do more coke. I've exhausted every avenue. I've begged, I've pleaded, I've cried I've lost my dignity. I've just wanted to help him and be the girl. But in reality, I'm just the mug who got taken in

So what do you plan to do Nonotmenori

I'm not sure I'd welcome the news from a disgruntled partner, to be honest.
Perhaps if you lived together and had children.
Drugs are so rife (where I live, anyway) that I would assume most people have dabbled.

Park, I honestly don't know. I didn't want to post on here, but I've no choice as no one I can talk to in RL. I guess I feel lower than low and need someone to shake the sense I know I have back into me.

Hi old, we're not talking about dabbled here. I. Talking about 30-40 lines most weekends. He's on coke 3-4 days a week. That to me is an addict unless I'm being naive?

You'll never be able to help him.
My dd also said she could stop anytime.

I'm sure you're right, its a bloody lot, but I'm just thinking how I would feel as a parent being informed of that.
I'm sure my first response would be defensive, rightly or wrongly.

a) Ridiculous to assume they don't know. b) And being 70 doesn't make you stupid.

His parents were teenagers in the 60's and we all know no one ever took drugs then

Walk away and forget him. He is a drug addict, what possible future could you ever have together?

Hi park I agree with what you're saying. I'm honestly not looking to cause unwanted stress or trouble to his family they're lovely people. I'm just at my wits end here. I've tried everything.

Jolie trust me they have no idea and they were not teenagers in the 70's they're late 70's and have absolutely no idea he's doing class A drugs

What are you actually trying to do?
Get him to stop?

Do you think his parents will tell him off and he'll realise its bad?

In that scenario of perhaps say to them “sadly we are breaking up as I cannot continue to be with a drug abuser.”

My advice would be to leave him.

Old - I guess wake the fuck up? Seems his family knowing is the only thing he seems to fear. Maybe a wake up call? I don't know. I'm all over the place at the moment. I'm not thinking straight lately

I don't believe his parents don't know.
I bet he has borrowed money, been abusive to them in the past.

Park without giving too much away, he works for the family business he gets paid a lot of money weekly and doesn't have any rent or bills whatsoever to pay. Lives at home mummy cooks, washes etc for him. His money is his money so can well afford his Coke habit

Nonotmenori
I know what its like to live with an addict.
His parents would need to be blind NOT to have noticed, especially when he lives with them.