Would you want to know if your adult DC did drugs?

[Nonotmenori]

I'm broken beyond broken. I'm not a stupid person. I'm clued up. So why did I fall in love with a 'man' who's a cocaine addict? I won't bore you all with how stupid I am/have been.

I've been stupid enough to put up with being physically, mentally and emotionally abused. Because I honestly thought I was special enough for him to change. I guess what I want to know is if this was your son, would you want to know if he's a drug addict? This isn't me being malicious I'm not that type of person, but as a mother, I know I'd want to know and I guesss I'd like others thoughts before I finally seal the final nail in the coffin.

Park I swear to you they have no idea. They think he's just drunk. His family and mine are from another country. We're both born in the uk but where both our parents are from drinking and getting drunk is pretty normal. Drugs really not so much.

It seems an awful lot of hard work to keep trying to have a normal relationship with this man.

If you tell his parents will that mean the end of you two?

So they think he's an alcoholic.

Yes exactly that. In my OP I'm not a stupid person, but I can't explain how stupid I've been and how he talks me round. I'm broken and I feel so downright stupid. How does someone anti drugs fall in love with someone who loves drugs?!

Don't know

Best thing you can do is boot his backside out the door, and never look back.

There never will be a happy ending.

If they are doing nothing to try and stop what they think is alcoholism/heavy drinking, why do you think they would with coke? I always thought alcohol (which is also a drug) was more dangerous than cocaine. How would you feel if he was recreationally drinking a few times a week? I think that (and coke) is pretty standard for 20-30 year olds living in cities with no children.

User where our families are from drinking is very normal especially with men (still very backward) I'm goi g to go to bed and I've messaged him it's the end. I doubt texting his mum is the right idea after reading g the replies. Thanks all for being honest. Appreciate it.

Don't relent & go back to him, this relationship is toxic. I'd only mention his drug addiction to his parents if they asked you themselves why you broke up.

Don’t involve his parents FFS
If you don’t want to put up with his shit anymore then end it and leave him to it.
What exactly do you think will happen if you tell his parents he takes drugs? He’ll suddenly see the error of his ways and be the perfect boyfriend?

Take care of yourself.

You're hoping telling his parents will be 'a wake up call'. Which shows you still think he can be 'fixed'. You're clinging to the hope of him suddenly accepting that he has a problem, miraculously getting clean and riding off into the sunset with you, his saviour.

Give it up fss.

He's a split manchild who works for his family, lives at home, whose mum does everything for him, where they don't charge him rent, and are pretending his 'drunkenness' is normal. If they come from a culture of drunken men, they are probably well aware he is not just drunk!

Accept you made a huge judgement in error here and step away. Stop trying to work out how to save him. Stop involving yourself in his 'rescue'. Just stop! Block, grieve, walk away. The only one causing your heartbreak now is you and your unwillingness to let go of this manchild and your rescuing angel image of yourself.

Hi OP, my ex was an addict, he used cannabis regularly, couldn't get through the day without it. He then went on to crack cocaine, he was 50 at the time.

You are on a hiding to nothing, let him go and live your life, you're not his saviour. We (I and his family) tried hard to help him, but he hit me so he had to go, I had two DC and wasn't going to tolerate that.

Whether his parents know or not, you need to leave him, you are not responsible and neither do you want to be.

From someone who has been there, please leave.

Just stop. Get yourself out of there and close the door on him emotionally. You need to let go.

How does someone anti drugs fall in love with someone who loves drugs?!

Easy, because you thought/think this I honestly thought I was special enough for him to change.

Telling his parents is just another excuse to stay engaged in a man you should be disengaging from.

How does someone anti drugs fall in love with someone who loves drugs?!

Sex. Many things are glossed over if the sex is good.