You can't diagnose yourself but if you are voluntarily self-suggesting that you might be a narcissist, it is almost certain that you aren't.
The central part of narcissistic personality disorder is a grandiose belief that you are amazing (slang description obviously). A huge problem with getting NPD sufferers to even see a psychiatrist or have any sort of treatment is that that will not accept that there is anything wrong with them at all - because they are perfect.
If is almost a given that if you think you are a narcissist or suspect you might be (without being formally diagnosed) that you aren't - because you have too much self awareness to be a true narcissist.
NPD sufferers are not prone to self diagnosis as their grandiosity gets in the way.
I've always known there is something wrong with me because the women on my dads side can't seem to hold onto men and they were kinda spiteful towards their husbands and have ended up being/dying alone. I always thought that it was just a curse on the women on my dads side.
This means nothing as well as being from the dark ages ("Can't seem to hold onto men"?!?!? Who thinks like that in 2019?)
The behaviour of various "women" in your family is irrelevant - unless you are going to say catagorically - there have been a string of diagnoses of depression/bi-polar/borderline personality disorder.
Most relationships break down. People are generally selfish -it's a survival mechanism. It's much more likely that individual people have been spiteful in particular situations than spiteful being a genetic trait.
If you feel like there is "something wrong with you", you need to be much more articulate and specific about what it is before you see your GP. Being referred to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis is no joke and may set you on a path that you don't need or later regret.
You could try starting off with seeing a psychologist or a counsellor qualified to give CBT and other treatments.
These are the kind of things you might want to reflect on first.
Do you identify with the following statements?
I often feel “empty.”
My emotions shift very quickly, and I often experience extreme sadness, anger, and anxiety.
I’m constantly afraid that the people I care about will abandon me or leave me.
I would describe most of my romantic relationships as intense, but unstable.
The way I feel about the people in my life can dramatically change from one moment to the next—and I don’t always understand why.
I often do things that I know are dangerous or unhealthy, such as driving recklessly, having unsafe sex, binge drinking, using drugs, or going on spending sprees.
I’ve attempted to hurt myself, engaged in self-harm behaviors such as cutting, or threatened suicide.
When I’m feeling insecure in a relationship, I tend to lash out or make impulsive gestures to keep the other person close.