I'm a narcissist and my relationship with dp is coming to an end.

[itsabootyhole]

Been with dp for 8 years and we have 2 children together. I also have 3 teenagers from my previous relationship.

I've always known there is something wrong with me because the women on my dads side can't seem to hold onto men and they were kinda spiteful towards their husbands and have ended up being/dying alone. I always thought that it was just a curse on the women on my dads side.
I've researched narcissism and I have some of the traits. I want to get better I don't want my relationship to end I recognise that I'm not easy to live with and I want help what do I do? Has anyone ever been this way and they've got help that's worked?

Its good that u recognise u hve a problem, u remind me very much of my sister who has the same traits as u. She has always been like that sorry but a nasty bitter lying two faced person but when she is in a relationship she gets worse always putting her partner down, stopping them seeing family and friends etc etc so her relationships don't last long. I hve always tried to help her and because she's my sister have stuck by her even when I truly did not like her. But two years ago she really let me and my kids down with her actions and nasty lying again and when I confronted her she refused to apologise. I had to cut all contact with her for my own peace of mind. I hear from people she's telling lies about me as to why we don't speak so she hasn't changed. She is 50 and single and a very bitter horrible judgemental lying person who will never change. I think it's great that u recognise ur issues and are trying to get help otherwise u will drive away everyone u love. I really wish u all the best!! Xx

itsabootyhole is there a reason he didnt help with the kids though?

Yes, the texting nasty stuff and ignoring him for days isnt great and you do need to learn how to control yourself regarding this.

But neither is going out and leaving your kids for the other parent to deal with, when the other parent is struggling.

OP you shouldn’t be diagnosing yourself and neither should anyone else on this thread, it’s absolutely impossible without someone spending time with you and knowing your unique situation, and oh yeah being a qualified professional!

There are so many reasons why you might be behaving the way you are without you having a Personality Disorder which someone on this thread already congratulated you on self-diagnosing!!! From a few internet posts that is absolutely ridiculous.

If you are suffering from depression and anxiety there could be plenty of reasons for that without you having a PD. If you can possibly afford it look around for a very well qualified and experienced psychologist. Hopefully meet with a few to find someone who you can trust and work with. Do you have the financial resources for something like this?

Ok, let's start with the "red mist". Have you mapped your moods to your menstrual cycle? That could be a game changer.

Next, your family of origin has some red flags around it. Were they fine with you moving out at 16 and having 3 kids by 20? Under normal circumstances, that would be a very, very unusual thing to happen.

Your family/home life sounds busy, stressful and you sound overwhelmed and fed up. Do you ever get time out and away? Have you ever had some nights away, just you, to rest and recuperate? Does everything fall on your shoulders?

Finally, your husband. You have a house full of mess and stroppy children/teens, aren't coping, and he just fucks off for a jolly day out. He doesn't sound that great, OP. He sounds lazy and entitled. A "good" man would roll up his sleeves and get in there with you, not leave you to deal with it all.

TBH, after a lifetime of the above shit, I'd be fed up and fucked off too. 🤷‍♀️

Do you behave like this with anyone other than uitr DP and your kids?

Like your parents, colleagues or friends?