Confused, young, step mum

[Stepmumish]

Trying to make this as short as possible.

I’m 23, been with BF for 3 years (living together 2) he has two DS by two mums, we have them every weekend, and everything is pretty settled.

With the youngest (5) DS, BF dotes on him way more than slightly older DS, and always stayed closer to the mum. I’m not the jealous type, but sometimes it was overstepping the mark ,, and even after two years they text a lot etc.

BF has a nasty side, can be either amazing and loving, or cold and mean, no in between. (Never physical)

Since we’ve been together he’s split up with me 3 times, (never moves out) and then after a week or so he acts like it never happened?

I am very close with his family, and when we are good, things are great we laugh a lot and work as a unit.

Last month or so he’s been really cold on and off, and not sleeping in our bed. He stayed at DS mums one night (said she was out for the night?) and now they are texting a lot. She is currently on holiday and I feel like the minute she gets back he’s going to go and live with her.

Just really want some advice on how to handle this ? 1. If he does leave, I’m pretty sure my life will be very confused for abit, I’m young and I’ve been a step mum since 20 and I’m very involved when we have them at weeks 2. If he doesn’t leave me for her , how do I get past what he’s been doing ? Or am I stupid for even wanting him too stay?

I do love him, but don’t love the way he treats me, and I’m so confused

You’re only 23 - you have your whole life ahead of you - and it should be a wonderful, happy life.
It won’t be with this man....run!

Aww darling xxx have a hug xx I've been there plenty of times, facing the end of a relationship and feeling lost. This is my advice for you xxx

Not all relationships work. Some are a bad bet, some are a good bet. This one seems bad because you cant trust him emotionally so you aren't safe. Dont build your house on unsafe ground.

Get a plan forming in mind. Save money. Dust off ideas about stuff you've always wanted to do. Figure out what this relationship has taught you.

Use this time to learn that every woman needs her own well rounded life with healthy segments that do not crash when one segment crashes. You need a career, decent friendships, hobbies, health stuff, a good quality partner. At this point now, what segments of your life need developing and strengthening?

This may not be the only time you face this type of crisis so learn how to keep yourself buoyant and independent until a good choice of man turns up for you to team up with.

You are so brave to answer what your heart is telling you. That behaviour and habit will keep you safe in life.

Get ready to move on xx dont take too long xx and watch how your life switches up a gear xxxxxx

I'd be so disappointed if my DD at your age was with a man with 2 kids...let alone with 2 mums.

You're at your peak...why on earth settle for this.

What's the point. A man who had money going our for CS... from what would be family income if you were married.

At your age, you should be experiencing 'firsts' with the man you settle with.

He's so not worth it.