DP and me been together 9 years this June. He has two boys, 11 and 15 with ex wife. The boys live with her in Basingstoke, about half hour drive from us. I don't talk to the ex wife since she tried to sabotage our Christmas with a mystery illness which she miraculously recovered from when DP drove up there, and interfering in our relationship on and off since the beginning. Just stirring and feigning illnesses to get attention.
DP is oblivious to her meddling. For the past year or so they've been in contact via text nearly every day, not particularly about the kids but just general chit chat, even discussing our problems like wanting a child of our own. I've made it clear I'm not happy with it, but he claims it's entirely innocent and they just get on well. They even go out for drinks together, I'm not invited because I've made it clear i think she's poison and she's made no secret of the fact she dislikes me and thinks my DP can do better. She actually said that!
I understand they have to get on for the kids, but texting every day and going out for drinks occasionally feels wrong to me. It doesn't help that I have little confidence, am overweight and not sure if this is why I'm making an issue out of something that is, I think quite innocent. I've talked to DP but he's made it clear that he's not prepared to cool things down as it's my problem, I'm being controlling.
What hurts is that he knows it upsets me, but he can't seem to stop texting her. He says he misses their chats and feels sorry for her as she's lonely. I told him I don't mind them texting, just not every day. And I don't like them going for drinks. I think it's strange and not something you do with an ex. But he's adamant it's all innocent and they're just friends.
Just to reiterate I have no problem with him chatting about the kids. But it just feels out of order how close they are. And knowing how manipulative his ex is. And I can't stand that he's discussed our personal problems with this woman, especially the difficult conceiving issue. She once said, when we were still being civil, that some women just aren't meant to be mothers, which really hurt. DP just said she says things without thinking.
What can I say that will make DP see that it's killing our relationship. I'm so full of resentment it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm going crazy. DP has no close friends, only work colleagues, and so I feel mean stopping them socializing because he has no close friends to go out with.
Tonight was a breaking point having sat on the sofa all night, trying to have a conversation whilst he was tapping away on his phone to her all evening, I could scream.