About to cancel another date...what would you do?

[User2000019]

I’ve been dating for over two years now and I am so fed up of it. I’ve only met one person I was keen to meet again and he then got a job abroad so that was that.

I’ve had so many nights where I’ve come home feeling like I’ve wasted the evening because I’ve spent money and time getting ready to go out with someone I will never meet again.

That said...I really want to settle down so much. I’ve forgotten what it even feels like to be in a relationship! I’m very settled in my job and quite happily will go home and watch tv and go to the gym...but ultimately I am lonely and overall I want to be with someone.

I’m sat at my desk thinking oh god I can’t be bothered to go home and get ready to go out.

Would you cancel? Keep going? Give up?

I nearly cancelled a Tinder date because I was feeling fed up with it all and couldn’t be bothered. I went. He wasn’t my type at all. But we didn’t stop talking and laughing all evening and 8 weeks on I am feeling totally smitten.

Even if your date this evening doesn’t turn out to be The One OP, I hope you have a fun evening.

Well done for doing the positive thing, OP. I hope it works out.

Hi op, hope the date went well. I would recommend taking breaks from OLD if you're starting to feel sick of it and can't be bothered. I know you think time is running out but it really isn't!! You're still young.
I've done OLD off and on for nearly 2 years and as soon as it starts making me feel bad, I delete all the apps for a few months and then go back to it.

Hope you enjoyed the date.

If you're moving on, how about speed dating, so you meet more men in a shorter space of time? Or sign up with an agency which focuses on a particular interest such as sport, music, travel or whatever you're into.

I have a huge fear of becoming ill and then being unable to meet someone in these years while I can have children. It is crazy isn’t it...but I keep thinking about it and then it makes me panic that I need to find someone sooner.

How did the date go though?

I don’t think you’re fear is crazy. I don’t know if it would do to dwell on it though!

Hi - there is a support thread for online dating under Relationships - I think they're on to number 168 at the moment! I'm on my phone so can't provide a link but I can perhaps tag you in it @User2000019?

Ah - I can't find it as I've not posted in the last one OP but it's Dating Thread 166 - if you're on a PC you may find it more easily. An amazing bunch of women (and men) who'll give you lots of advice and support (and it's a very active group).
Best of luck and chin up! x

OP, you are only 34, I wonder if the anxiety of finding somebody is so pressured that you have such high hopes of each and every date?

Why don't you just relax your criteria and enjoy meeting different people you would never normally meet just for a walk or coffee ? That would be fun and interesting.maybe write a blog, you don't have to publish it, just take the pressure off yourself.

Alternatively, join a running/ cycling club, where you will meet lots of people and some will be single and / or will know single people.

OP - found it for you here
Dating thread 166: Who dates wins www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3656429-Dating-thread-166-Who-dates-wins#89066489