About to cancel another date...what would you do?

[User2000019]

I’ve been dating for over two years now and I am so fed up of it. I’ve only met one person I was keen to meet again and he then got a job abroad so that was that.

I’ve had so many nights where I’ve come home feeling like I’ve wasted the evening because I’ve spent money and time getting ready to go out with someone I will never meet again.

That said...I really want to settle down so much. I’ve forgotten what it even feels like to be in a relationship! I’m very settled in my job and quite happily will go home and watch tv and go to the gym...but ultimately I am lonely and overall I want to be with someone.

I’m sat at my desk thinking oh god I can’t be bothered to go home and get ready to go out.

Would you cancel? Keep going? Give up?

I recommend bumble and tinder. Bumble more so. Lots of nice men but sadly not the right one for me so far!

One of my friends was thinking the same thing - that OD is just like a quick job interview behind a coctail glass and she was fed up with it. She went to one last one and I think they just passed 3 year mark, living together for the last 1,5 years. I have at least 3 Tinder couples on my close friendship circle.

I'm few years younger than you and been in a relationship for past 10+ years and if I'd became single, I'd tip my toe in OD scene. The last time I was free for dating we didn't even had smartphones and I have been with one chap for all my 20s, so have a little experience in that world

I wouldn't cancel...this one could be the one!

There’s nothing wrong in stepping back and giving yourself some proper space from it all. Go back when you feel ready - but its healthy to step off that treadmill of crappy / average dates and spend your time and money on something else

Well yes, this too. Maybe you should have a break from it.

I hope it works out for you, OP.

Every time I try online dating I end up wishing I hadn't bothered lol. Have this date then call it a day. Unless his personality us too enthusiastic lol, if he is irritating af then cancel away.

I'm 30 and haven't met anyone my age group, that I fancied since I was 24 out-with online dating. Which is grim because online dating has mostly introduced me to...odd sorts and less than savory characters. So it still just isn't worth it to me tbh. So I'll probably be single for a long time. But heyho, I daresay in a moment of weakness I'll take a chance again, as will you. But for the moment, I'm fine with my own company. Don't feel as if you can't take a break from it too!

A life of books and bubble baths sounds like life well spent.

It is just really hard! And feels lonely in a strange way

I can totally, totally, totally understand that. I don't think it's strange at all.

A friend of mine did it and would just meet for a coffee initially.
1 hr and £3 invested.
She used to meet them in the same coffee shop so the staff were in on it too, super safe.
Yes and she is now happily married to the one she almost couldn’t be bothered going to meet.

Pleased you are going. In my experience, the things I don't want to go to, but force myself to do, are always the most fun.
Please come back and let us know how date went

I went on one last first date before giving up 10 months ago.. even told him that on the date! 😅 and so far so good!

Good luck, eventually one of them will be right for you.

Good luck

I hope he’s your soul mate!

I hope you enjoy the date!
If you don't, no harm taking a break for a month or 2?

Let us all know how it goes! I hope he's lovely and you have a great time!

@User2000019 I met my husband on pof. Stick with it there's some lovely people on there (it's just finding them!) Good luck xx

What's the purpose of dating for you, OP. Do you wnt to find a father fof iyour future DC and to shut up your elderly relatives?

There's nothing wrong with deciding you're happier alone, which is what your posts sound like, and if you want motherhood then go down the sperm donor route.

I'm certainly a fuck sight happier and calmer in the last 10 yrs since accepting that I don't want to fuck around with dating nobheads.

The apps haven’t worked for me. I go through thousands of men who like me but I don’t like many back. Been on two dates in a year! Going to cancel and get on some of the more serious/traditional websites like Match. Good luck OP - you’re not on your own. Let us know how it goes tonight!!

I would never allow a man I’d never met to pick me up in his car. Think of safety OP! Make your own way there and back. I’m not paranoid and I’ve done a tonne of internet dating (I was getting a bit bored of feeling like I was repeating the same date over and over again with a different man sat across from me when I found OH on tinder, we’re marrying next month after three years together, own a home and are expecting!). But it’s just common sense not to get into a lockable vehicle with a total stranger.

Hope you enjoyed the date!

Oooh
34 is young......time isn't anywhere near running out.

Why not make them as casual and short as possible. Limit yourself to two a month ( or something) so that you don't get too tired of them...
Good luck!!

I’m slowly losing hope too... it’s not as straightforward as finding someone nice (‘you’ll find someone nice, just have to keep looking’ etc) it’s that if you like the person, they have to like you, in order for something to happen. I’ve met quite a few really nice men from OLD but if I’m not the one for them, there’s little I can do about it!

On the date! He’s nice but not my usual type! Having a good time though...

Maybe that is it, date outside your 'type'! Enjoy!

Yay!!!!!!!

Yay. Good news!

😊

Hope it works out well for you xx