Hi everyone. I know this has probably been asked countless times before but I feel I need to ask someone who doesnt know me personally. I l have been in a relationship since I was 15 I'm now 29, we have been married 5 years and have 7 and 2 year old daughters together. Basically since the beginning he has always been grumpy. Over the years though it's got worse and worse. I have had some sort of epiphany and now think I may have been mistreated. It's been over the course of 13 years so little things have built up. I'm going to bullet point some examples as there has been so many things..
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he questions why I put makeup on etc and is confidence I do it for someone else
Has said I put makeup on as I'm a sheep aka a follower.
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has made personal joking comments infront of his friends then apologised and then continues to do again on other nights out.
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he has said on more occasions than I can remember that he is 10 times smarter than me and for me to remember that
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he times how long it takes me to drive places such as from work and to pop to shop for simple things like milk. If I get stuck in traffic I'll get questioned what I was doing when i get home.
*Years ago i got s keychain as a gift and I was home from a night out 10 mins later than expected and he smashed it to pieces infront of me.
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for my birthday (pre kids) my mum took me away for a weekend and he wouldnt speak and said I was so selfish not including him. I bought him a jacket as a gift and all he done was moan at me spending money.
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if I have a night out with friends i can guarantee an argument will be had before it and then he wont speak to me all the next day and. Infact last time he didnt speak until 5pm and had kept our oldest up till 3am playing playstation, he said it was because she was having fun but part of me thinks he done it to annoy me.
*he would get blind drunk to the point of being sick and shitting himself for me to have to clean him up and take him home. The next day he would moan and say I'm boring for not getting drunk etc.
- he will question me on everything, even insignificant issues such as why a pan has been put in the wrong drawer.
I know that was long but that's afew examples I can think about just now. Basically I feel like I have been walking on egg shells for a large part of my life and my mood always depended on what mood he was in. He has said on afew occasions that it doesnt matter what I do he just wont ever be 100% happy. Now over the past 2 years I've felt like I no longer love him but stuck through it for the kids. I've now reached a point I'm so miserable and cannot stop thinking about things that hes done. I've spoke to my mum which was a major hurdle and friends also who are of the opinion that I have been mistreated.
I told my husband last week that I no longer love him and want to move out after xmas. He had a breakdown and said he has treated me horribly for basically half my life and has been nothing but nice since. He did say though that if he starts speaking to me horribly again I have to "remind him" to be nice.
This has dragged on for more than I wanted it to but basically I'd like your opinions on if you think this behaviour is just generally moodiness or if its wrong.
Thanks to anyone that takes the time to read this xx