Would you want to know if partner is having regular and multiple affairs? WWYD?

[malibubeach]

Before I go further: I’m single. Was seeing one of the owners of my work for about a month. I didn’t know he was still married as he said they’d split a good while ago...
This man is fiercely private and we ended up seeing each other. However, after a big work night out recently I heard a LOT about what he gets up to. Things I had no idea about as he’s so quiet. To cut a long story short, he’s usually got several affairs on the go at the one time. I had no idea.... to make it worse, I found out he’d had sex with a girl in work (classy) the same day that he and I went out on a date! I’m horrified as I now know that he went back to his wife that night after being with the two of us in the same day. I obviously confronted him to tell him where to go (that's the polite version) and he admitted everything. Said he’ll never be faithful to his wife and he can’t be trusted. Complete creep. It wasn’t going on long so I didn’t get feelings, apart from sheer embarrassment of being involved with the creep. But I’m now thinking, would I want to know if my husband was having a merry go round of affairs? Not just one woman at a time! WWYD? This woman is sitting at home unaware that her husband is shagging girls at work??? I feel sick at this whole situation

100% would want to know. He is seriously putting her health at risk!

I would imagine the wife knows. You can’t be constantly unfaithful and not raise suspicions.

Of course!
Agree with the 2 above. He sounds like a walking std. She's probably already had dealings/suspicions about him and his bots if he's that bad.

I would want to know. She may know but so many don’t as you say he’s very secretive and private. She may think he works long hours etc.
The years the wife has wasted with this creep can never come back and she may not care as maybe he supports her via a financial way etc. But I would want to know so she has a choice.

Yep, poor woman should know. She may have no idea if she thinks he's just working.

I’d personally want to know if my dh was having multiple affairs. But it’s difficult territory - you know little about either of them really. If you are thinking of telling her, I would move jobs first. Also, is there anyone around you who knows more about the situation better who you could talk to?

Thanks everyone. I would want to know too but my friend thinks I shouldn’t tell her. One of my friends told me he’s done it for years and his wife knows about one of his affairs from years ago. He’s EXTREMELY wealthy (millionaire) so it did cross my mind whether she knows and just lives with it to be so financially secure. However it’s the fact he actively pursues women like prey that doesn’t sit well with me. Surely she wouldn’t put up with knowing he was with two other women in the one day. I feel sick thinking of it. I would definitely need to leave work, which I really don’t want to do..

Bear in mind op that if this is one of the owners of where you work, you're in a sticky enough situation

I had a similar situation with the owner of the gym I used to go to- he has slept with most of the women who go to the gym. I toyed with telling his girlfriend (now wife) but I honestly think she MUST know- when the gym has Christmas parties she is banned from going so he can hook up with others!!

I have left the gym now so don't have contact with him, I can see on fb they have now had a baby. I can only assume she sticks around for the money.

Gross. I’d absolutely want to know and thank you for telling me.

They probably don't have sex at home ( hopefully) it's not your place to tell her

I’d bet my house on the fact that she knows already.
He’s clearly not even discreet.

It's amazing how many women turn a blind eye when the man is rich.

I guess if he is very private its possible she doesn't know the extent of it.
I know someone who was genuinely poleaxed when she found out her husband had had numerous affairs.

But if he’s really that prolific then I’m sure someone else will have sent an anonymous email.
But maybe not. In any case I probably wouldn’t get involved. He will know it’s you.
Unless you do it in 6 months or something.

Thanks everyone. I think he's paid girls off before to keep quiet. I guess because I walked away, making as little fuss as possible has saved my skin. Out of sheer embarrassment more than anything.
Would an anonymous letter be a cowardly way out of telling her? I was thinking if he's been at this for years then it could be anybody exposing his sleazy ass?

Stay out of it
He will eventually get caught or maybe already has

Spare yourself the drama as usually it's the messenger that gets shot

They probably don't have sex at home ( hopefully)

What?!

Christ never shag anyone you work with let alone an owner..

Is he a George Clooney lookalike or something? Amazing ability to pull women by the sounds of it.

Is he a George Clooney lookalike or something? Amazing ability to pull women by the sounds of it.

Ha ha! Not quite. But VERY charismatic. He's an expert at pulling from what I've now found out. So he knows all the right moves...he's also not fussy about choosing his victim. It's all a game I'm afraid. he thrives on the thrill of the chase

I would genuinely walk away. Not your monkey, not your circus.

Or not your circus not your monkeys! Either way.

Perhaps they have an open relationship

Perhaps she has lots of affairs too - you just don't actually know - interesting that he's so "private" about his life - he may be trying to outdo her.

I would want to know. He is basically playing Russian roulette with his wife’s life without her knowledge. If we lived in a world without stds it might be ok to keep quiet, but that is not the world we live in