Would you want to know if partner is having regular and multiple affairs? WWYD?

[malibubeach]

Before I go further: I’m single. Was seeing one of the owners of my work for about a month. I didn’t know he was still married as he said they’d split a good while ago...
This man is fiercely private and we ended up seeing each other. However, after a big work night out recently I heard a LOT about what he gets up to. Things I had no idea about as he’s so quiet. To cut a long story short, he’s usually got several affairs on the go at the one time. I had no idea.... to make it worse, I found out he’d had sex with a girl in work (classy) the same day that he and I went out on a date! I’m horrified as I now know that he went back to his wife that night after being with the two of us in the same day. I obviously confronted him to tell him where to go (that's the polite version) and he admitted everything. Said he’ll never be faithful to his wife and he can’t be trusted. Complete creep. It wasn’t going on long so I didn’t get feelings, apart from sheer embarrassment of being involved with the creep. But I’m now thinking, would I want to know if my husband was having a merry go round of affairs? Not just one woman at a time! WWYD? This woman is sitting at home unaware that her husband is shagging girls at work??? I feel sick at this whole situation

I'd wanna know!

Yes I would but not anonymously or without evidence

My exh had multiple affairs during our 15 years together. He was a great liar, always had totally plausible reasons for working late, meeting up with friends, staying on late at a party etc. I was totally devastated when a kind person - the only one brave enough in 15 years - told me how he had tried to sleep with her. I just never suspected that. But I was also grateful to her - and still am - because our life together was not real, it was based on lies. I knew something was wrong though and I spent 15 years not knowing what it was, blaming myself and trying my best to please him - when I could never have made the relationship work.
Please tell her.

When I was 17 I worked in a shop owned by a guy who was pretty well off. He was in his 30s and took advantage of me and at least one other girl that I knew of. All the while maintaining his relationship with his partner. There's no way she knew and/or would be ok with it. This idea that women "turn a blind eye" to affairs is very rare in actuality. In hindsight he was an utter creep who totally preyed on the young girls who worked for him, but at 17 I was a bit naive and didn't see it. It makes me feel sick when i look back on it though. For that reason, I would tell her. On the tiny off chance she's ok with his affairs then no harm done!

She wont thank you, but she needs to know so that she can reassess her life.

Anonymous is pointless, all he needs is plausible deniability I.e. it's a disgruntled ex employee etc etc

Please tell, this is how I found out and I sincerely thanked her for being honest

I'd find another job and then tell

I'd get another job and get far away from him.

I would want to know if I was the wife...but I would need more than your word. I'd need proof for a number of reasons...especially from a woman he worked with (him being the owner) like yourself ...as I wouldn't have taken his word about a split the way you did. Probably because I'm generally more suspicious.

Ew sleaze vom

Wow. Seems like these sleaze bags are more common than I suspected. Asurvivor your comments made me weep. I'm so glad you found out and can have a better life. I'm on the hunt for a new job then I'll pluck up the courage to tell her. Although I feel sick at the thought of what I'm about to do to her thanks again everyone xx

This is a really tricky one. I think I'd want to know. New job first sounds like a plan whatever you choose.

I've known a few married men and one married woman like this - they are unable to resist the chance of sex with an attractive partner, and never even attempt to say no.
In every case the spouse was fully aware of the situation and sent anyone who 'told' them away with a flea in their ear. All marriages lasted several years and one for a long lifetime.

My exh had loads of affairs/ one night stands
I never knew or suspected anything
He worked away the odd time so had lots of opportunity
He was a good dad at home and I hate to say it, most of the time a good husband
There was nothing to alert me to his extra curricular behaviour
I dont think there was one person in our early years.. that came much later...but who knows and I don’t care now