Dating: He keeps talking about his ex.

[AmICrazyCrazy]

Hi; just need some advice since im not sure i overreacted last night.
Been seeing each other for 3 weeks and we click very well. We're in our early 20s and both been in previous 3-year relatiomships. Mine finished last year, his 2 years ago.

I love spending time with him and conversation just flows and we've both discussed how we can imagine things developing further. We are exclusive.

But he keeps speaking about his ex from 2 years ago. I didnt mind this at first since it's interesting to hear stories about his life before me and he asks me questions too.
He's told me about how she was manipulative and his parents didnt like her but that they also got on great and had a great time together.

But last night, we went for a night away and i started to feel bothered by her being brought up again.

This time, we were being a bit playful, and something was said and as a joke i responded back laughing 'do you think you'll fall in love with me' and we were both joking saying it's way too early for that.

I then turned to my side to relax and he said
"Did you love your ex?"
And i said (confused-like)
"Ermmmm yeah"
And he goes
"I really did love my ex"

And i literally just sighed and felt myself go a bit down. He then continued to "joke" how hmaybe his ex will be out this weekend. And maybe he could introduce us.
He wasnt being serious with this (he was serious with the love comment) but it still hurt.
He noticed i went quiet so i didnt want to beat around the bush and told him how it felt like he brought up the loving my ex thing so he had a reason to tell me how much he loved his ex. And I told him I don't think we should speak too much about exes anymore.

I dont mind hearing his stories since i understand she'll be in them just like my ex will be in many of mine since they were a big part of our lives. But little comments like that seem to take it too far.

He said he felt bad that he's sorry but he was just joking and took it too far.
I said sorry for getting a bit serious and that i just felt a jealous pang.

We were fine the rest of the night and we were great this morning.
I've come home and i'm just worried of scaring him away as it's only been 3 weeks but this is our first misunderstanding and serious talk, but it was all just getting to me that i felt i had to say something :(
We didnt argue, just spoke and it was obvious i was a bit taken aback.

I'd find it a bit odd to meet someone today and they have that much availability to spend everyday with me from then for 3 weeks. What about other plans, friends and family?

I disagree with the majority on this one. He sounds fine, a few faults here and there (mentioning his ex) but now that you have tried to nip it, I’d see how it goes.

Yes it’s a bit full on, meeting everyday, meeting the friends and parents, talking about being in love, but there’s no secret formula as far as I know. See him as much or as little as you like!

It’s a bit disconcerting that he says he gets bored after a month or two. Maybe he is trying to say you are special.

But honestly, he sounds nice with potential. And you sound sensible, going into this with your eyes open.

@zippey
Got ti agree.
It's early days.
When I first met dh I was still 'in love ' with my ex.

Split 2 years.

BUT 4 month later I realised this new man was 100 times better than ex h and 25 years later I'm more in love than ever.

Give it time but be as in all new relationships keep your ears open.
Keep it light.

Keep it fun ❤️

Big red flag that two YEARS after his break up he spent time on your first date talking about it!

ime this is a major red flag and heavily suggests he isn't over that relationship.

You handled it well and seem mature!

But 3 weeks together is a no. Get your space op !