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Original poster

How long did you online date before finding the right person?

37 replies

User2019a · 01/08/2019 22:50

Ive been online dating now for nearly 2 years. I’m fed up. I’ve spoken to and met a lot of people and I’ve been bothered about only meeting one person more than once.

It feels never ending. I try and date outside of just online but those dates are few and far between.

OP posts:
TheStuffedPenguin · 01/08/2019 23:43

3 months . He was my Number 6 .

dodgeballchamp · 01/08/2019 23:53

I’ve been doing it on and off for 4 years and still haven’t met them...

Alislia17 · 02/08/2019 04:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FuriousVexation · 02/08/2019 05:25

About 3 weeks. Personally for me, the key is to have sex on the first date. Then if they're crap you can bin them off after not wasting too much time, and if you have great chemistry then they (and you) will want to keep seeing each other.

If you're after marriage and dc though, I'd probably take a different approach.

Lauren83 · 02/08/2019 05:33

About a month on Timder, he was the second person I met but I spoke to a lot of people

HappyLoneParentDay · 02/08/2019 05:44

@FuriousVexation the key is to have sex on the first date.

Dangerous advice! Agreeing to sex on the first date can lead to violent rape/murder

Sadie789 · 02/08/2019 06:04

Bit dramatic Lone Parent...

I spent years on various online dating sites but to be fair this is going back to early 2000s before it was so widely used/accepted. In the end when Tinder first started I tried it, had three dates and the third was an absolute keeper.

Don’t give up!

ChristinaMarlowe · 02/08/2019 06:10

One month, DH was first and last date from POF. We text casually for about 6 weeks, finally met up, now married and DD born 2 weeks ago.

Marmitelikestoast · 02/08/2019 06:28

About a month for me, we've been married 4 years now and have two dc.

My sister found somebody after 6 months.

Justme1981 · 02/08/2019 06:36

Maybe try a different approach? I online dated for a few months but hated it, could tell it wasn't for me, im better meeting people in real life rather than online if that makes sense?
Anyway, met my boyfriend feel a bit old for boyfriend but its too early for me to call him DP) in local soft play with our DCs so you never know ...
Good luck!!

Megan2018 · 02/08/2019 06:42

I married my first and only online date, I was on the site I used for 1 month! But I know that is unusual.
We got engaged after 4 months and married a year later. We had our 5th wedding anniversary this year and are expecting a baby next month.

My 2 close friends who were using OLD before me are still at it though so I know I was lucky.

Doormat247 · 02/08/2019 06:50

I think online dating encourages you to settle for less than you deserve. I met so many losers/weirdos/liars etc that when I found someone half decent I'd give it a shot - which I probably wouldn't have done if I'd met them in another way.

I had two shitty relationships from POF - met them both quite soon after joining each time. Third time I went on because my then bf was messing me around and I knew it was ending - changed my mind half an hour later and suspended my account - but I'd already got a message. He's sweet, kind, as odd as I am and we've been together about 18months. Not sure he's 'the one' but he's a million times better than anyone else I was going to meet on there.

I'd defo recommend meeting someone in person if you can but that wasn't an option for me as I don't socialise. Maybe change the dating site you're using.

giantnannyknickers · 02/08/2019 06:51

I'm an avid believer in getting a new hobby and meeting people that way! Maybe change the way you meet people op

ukgift2016 · 02/08/2019 06:52

Well to make you feel better after all these "I met my partner after one month/one date!" posts...

I was OD for three years on-off before meeting my partner.

I met a lot of men who were not over their ex, just wanted sex etc etc. Not everyone has a easy time online dating and I did take long periods away from the site.

My advice is to keep at it but it's about finding that needle in the haystack. If you feel your confidence being dented, take a break from the sites.

Sexnotgender · 02/08/2019 06:56

I did OLD twice. Each time for around a month.

First time I did it I met a bunch of losers and was put off!

Second time I met my now husband. Been together 3 years and have a 6 month old baby.

azulmariposa · 02/08/2019 06:58

About 6 month. I saw more dick pics than I wanted too, and went on a couple of okayish dates. Then started messaging dp. 5 years later we are still together.

But there are a lot of very strange men!!! Friends haven't been as lucky, and have been on much longer. I think it's just luck of the draw really.

Sexnotgender · 02/08/2019 07:02

I think it's just luck of the draw really.

Totally. And the right people being on at the right time.
I was my husband’s one and only date.

Veterinari · 02/08/2019 07:07

Agreeing to sex on the first date can lead to violent rape/murder
@HappyLoneParentDay
Please show us the evidence for your scaremongering!

LittleKitty1985 · 02/08/2019 07:08

Yeeeeeeears, maybe 7?

The quality of my dates improved massively when I used paid sites like eharmony.

& then they improved again when I was more honest about the importance of my core values (I stopped dating meat-eaters)

But ultimately I met DH at speed-dating - we clicked immediately and have been happy together ever since! Smile

TanMateix · 02/08/2019 07:10

It is just a matter of luck. First time, 3 weeks, we were together for 3 years. Second time, a year, were together for 4. Third time... 7 absolutely miserable months, have found a lovely man who is great but I met 24 to get to him!

The older you get, the more difficult it is. I have not met more than a “benign” weirdo, no nasty experiences, all the other people were lovely and normal but we were not well matched IYWIM.

Preggers86 · 02/08/2019 07:12

I was on various sites for 3 years thinking I was doomed and would never find the one I was looking for. Then one morning I got a message on POF that simply read 'hey', no cheesy chat up lines or anything. I very nearly deleted the message because of the lack of effort put in to it. However 3 and a half years later I can honestly say I am in love with my best friend and we are expecting our first child.

So don't give up OP just relax, enjoy yourself And you will find someone. Just remember there isn't any time limits on finding love.

Good luck in your search.

bigredship · 02/08/2019 07:15

I'd been on the apps for a while (prob nearly three years inc moved country in that time) but only started dating and taking it seriously for six months. I was on two apps and then looked at joining a couple of sites but they were crap. Met my boyfriend on Bumble. It's such a game of luck, we so very nearly didn't happen as I got sick of the apps. I'd say to take a break if it's not fun any more, you need a positive attitude and dates can pick up on that.

elliepac · 02/08/2019 07:25

3 months. 3 ok dates, one FWB type of fling and then DP messaged me. We couldn't meet for 2 months because he was in a far flung country as part of his job (forces) but we built our relationship over those 2 months. Not an ideal situation as we could have met and all that emotional investment could have been for nothing. Pleased to report however that the moment we met we knew it was worth it. 4 yrs later we live together and have blended families (4 children between us) without a hitch (unusual I know) and he is the love of my life (nearly made myself vomit thereWink).

I am not a believer in fate but I do think it is all about timing. The right person is out there but they have to be on the same site at the same time. Odds are low but it does happen. I was the first person he messaged so for him he was on it for one day.

Yes you will get dick pics, yes you will get people who message who haven't actually taken the time to read what you are about and therefore not compatible but it can happen. I was brutally honest about who I am and what I was looking for and ignored anybody who did not fit that criteria. I had no nightmare dates but I didn't follow the meet them quickly rule. I spent a few weeks messaging them first because you can learn a lot about whether somebody is your kind of person that way. Hence no horrible dates because i always got along with them even if when we met there was no chemistry. They were lovely men, just not for me. Then I found the one for me.

I do agree with a pp that paid sites have me the best return as they tend to be more serious and not just looking for a quick fling.

Good luck!

funnylittlefloozie · 02/08/2019 07:39

I did OLD for the best part of 2 years, my POF account was open for 3 years. I met some nice men, some real weirdos, and a couple who ended up as friends... but never "the one". I was lucky - i met someone through a mutual colleague in the end, and we're ridiculously happy. OLD is a numbers game, and yes, a bit of luck, im afraid. You can have a lot of fun doing it though.

Avoid immediate rape and murder by using a bit of common sense, meeting up in public places, telling people where you're going, etc.

Rtmhwales · 02/08/2019 07:39

XH was my first foray into online dating. Messaged a bunch of men, ended up agreeing to meeting one. Knew a week later I'd marry him. We did but ended up divorced. Oh well.

Second time around about three months. Six mediocre or bad dates. Met DP. It's going well.