I'm 2 months into my first relationship since a very damaging relationship with ds's father. The guy in question is so gorgeous it makes me melt every time I look at him. On paper we should be perfect together; we are both single parents, same age, it's easy for us to meet up (he's self-employed and we're both pretty flexible). But, get this: in 2 months we have had NO dates since our first week of coffees and pub lunches. No cinema, club, walk in the park, restaurants, meeting each other's friends. We've done a couple of kids' things as a foursome but nothing else.
The problems are these: number one, he never asks me anything about myself. Oh, once he asked me about some books on my bookshelf. But conversation is almost painful because I have to say everything that comes into my head, as otherwise it's all about him: interesting enough, but not a 2-way exchange in the slightest. My gran died last week and all he said when I told him was, "Right." No, "How are you? Were you close? When's the funeral?" or anything. Number two, the only time we spend together is 9.30 pm (ie after ds is asleep) until 8 am at my house, to do You Know What, which is great, as it's been 4 yrs in my case (!), but not really what I had in mind.
I accept the fact that this is not a long term prospect but surely I can expect a little more? I've mentioned it briefly, how I'm perplexed that he says how much he likes me but apparently never wants to venture out in public together or to construct anything more meaningful. He never calls me his girlfriend, invites me to meet his friends, is always making arrangements on days I have put aside for us to get together, and yet all the time is telling me how great I am and how much he likes me.
We met online so inevitably I'm suspicious that he's got fifteen other women in similar situations dotted about the city, but I think that's my own paranoia, I've met his kid and been to his house so I doubt he's married, but being a f*%@ buddy is really not what I wanted at my time of life. However, I don't want to make a fuss about something that's not really a problem, as the sex is good, he's very sweet and nice and cuddly and all that jazz. Anyone who's had this and managed to turn it into something else, I'd be very grateful to hear from.
Confession: I am lonely and desperate for adult male company and if it wasn't for this would have shut this down before now. He has a history of getting 'inexplicably dumped' and I rather feel I'm going to be the next one, though he's so beautiful, and the sense of potential is so huge, I just can't let it go yet.
Sorry, this is probably more of a vent than an actual dilemma, I've just never had something so casual and don't think I want it, either. Want to know really whether I'm kidding myself on the 'potential' thing.
Thanks for listening xx