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Original poster

Is he up to something? If so, what?

62 replies

wasabipeas · 29/07/2019 12:30

What would you make of someone who has always been very attached to their phone (taking it to the loo, never letting anyone else use to to google/watch videos) suddenly leaves it lying around without a care in the world? Goes for a 2 hour run leaving the phone in the house...

Whatsapp profile pic has also changed from one of us + DCs to one on his own.

For context, he has an incredibly busy work week, with verifiable times in the office, and is always home in evenings and weekends

OP posts:
pusspuss9 · 29/07/2019 12:35

maybe got himself a second phone?

Wishihad · 29/07/2019 12:41

I dont understand? He was glued to his phone and that didnt bother you, now he is, that's bothering you?

Maybe he is going through a phase of wanting time away from his phone. Knows he was being a bit weird with it.

I do it quite often. Purposely leave it behind so I am not checking it all the time etc.

Also changing your what's app photo means nothing. Why cant he have one of just him? It his whats app not a joint one.

Is there anything else that's bothering you? Because on it's own, these seem like quite minor things but presume theres a bigger picture here

vickyq1983 · 29/07/2019 12:42

Second phone?

Sunburntnoseandears · 29/07/2019 12:43

I would have to look at the calls list....

Number3or4 · 29/07/2019 12:43

He might be a phone addict. I know a couple of people who might qualify as one. They can't sleep without them and they have it constantly. They do allow others to rummage through them, whilst they are there making sure you don't break it or lock them out.

Maybe ask if you could rummage through his phone? You should get asked why and it is normal to be ask why dont you trust me? I have a password and my husband knows it as he uses my phone when his one runs out of battery or he can't locate it and uses my phone to call his one. I do the same thing.

PicsInRed · 29/07/2019 12:49

He was flirting or carrying on with person or people (in office, even if busy, totally possible - fake meetings, fake work trips, REAL work trips, taking leave they don't tell you about etc etc). Protected his phone as it contained the evidence.

Now he's found someone who may have got him onto a hidden chat app. So he knows he can leave the phone lying about as you won't find the chats. Or, as PP said, 2nd phone.

Ironically, he probably thinks he is being less suspicious, but the behaviour change has caught your attention.

HappyGirlNow · 29/07/2019 12:54

If you’d been giving him a hard time or feeling suspicious re his phone usage (understandable from what you’ve said) then my first instinct would be he has got himself a second phone to do what he wants on while making a big deal of leaving the one you’re aware of lying around to ‘prove’ himself...

simone1863 · 29/07/2019 13:03

Textbook Mumsnet - he's doing something that suggests little to no evidence of wrong doing, and now he's not doing it, which is even bigger evidence.

PicsInRed · 29/07/2019 13:15

Behavioural changes, simone, behavioural changes. They are often significant.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 29/07/2019 13:18

If he's removed the family pic for a single pic maybe he's trying to look single? All together, I would investigate further. Turns out my XDH had a couple of phones... and the reason wasn't good.

Original poster
Wasabipeas · 29/07/2019 13:18

A month ago, we were on holiday and I had left my phone in the room
I asked to use his phone to look up something on google maps and he wouldn’t hand it over, but instead looked it up himself and held the phone in front of me to show me.

Then a week later, the same phone is lying around for hours while he goes running.

There isn’t a corresponding drop in other phone usage. He still pisses around on it all night while watching TV

He already has a second phone, which is his work phone.
But I know the passcode and he leaves that lying around also

So a third phone? Or something was happening and has been called off?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wasabipeas · 29/07/2019 13:20

@PicsInRed Are there secret messaging apps for iPhones?
He isn’t particularly technical so it was would to be something incredibly basic to use/hide if he was using something

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 29/07/2019 13:20

I would assume he's got a 2nd phone and thinks he cleared everything.
Maybe the affair is over.
Have a look at the battery in settings and see where he's been spending his time!

Huskylover1 · 29/07/2019 13:25

Agree with Hellsbells

loobyloo1234 · 29/07/2019 13:50

*@PicsInRed Are there secret messaging apps for iPhones? *

Sort of. Apps you wouldn't necessarily think to look at. 'Telegram' for example

Original poster
wasabipeas · 29/07/2019 15:02

@loobyloo1234

Thanks
Any others? I'm going to try and have a look...

OP posts:
loobyloo1234 · 29/07/2019 15:05

There are probably lots - but Viber is another one that I can think of

Have a look at the battery in settings and see where he's been spending his time! - this is a good suggestion also

LittleTulip · 29/07/2019 15:52

Kik app as well

Notallitseemstobe · 29/07/2019 17:13

Is it finger print protected?

I leave mine about because no one can get into it, so it's safe.

Kik is a messaging app, but

Notallitseemstobe · 29/07/2019 17:13

.. Doesn't mean he's physically cheating. Many don't.

Needsomebottle · 29/07/2019 17:37

My DH left his lying around when his EA ended. Has since been the most relaxed person about his phone whereas it never left his side (including when running and now runs without it) before.

Change of WhatsApp photo to one of just hints, perhaps he is hoping she will look for him on there and think he looks amazing and she will realise what she's missing? Perhaps she was the one who ended it?

Pinkout · 29/07/2019 17:41

Have you asked him why he changed the WhatsApp pic? Does seem like he’s wanting to appear single but suddenly leaving the phone at home is odd, have you searched through it?

Original poster
Wasabipeas · 29/07/2019 19:07

Eurgh, he has changed his whatsapp pic again today. To a several-years-old pic of selfie with a minor celebrity

Before this, it had been a pic of him, me and DC for ages.

I’m going to check for messaging apps but I honestly think they will be a technology too far for him.
I know he uses Slack at work though. But that’s only for offices?

He had a horrible bereavement at the start of the year so his behaviour has been ‘off’ all year so it’s hard to see what is normal bereavement and what is suspicious

OP posts:
LadyDowagerHatt · 29/07/2019 19:36

I would worry about him not letting you use his phone to look on google maps. That’s how my DH got caught out - I couldn’t get any signal so I asked to use his phone for a recipe, he was in a right state trying to not let me hold it and making excuses like he also didn’t have any signal when he clearly did.

I wonder whether that’s been a little too close for comfort for your OH and he has now cleared that phone either by hiding apps or using a different phone.

I also thought my DH would have had no time for an affair but he clearly found it - work trips, finishing early, taking time off.

bagpiss · 29/07/2019 21:03

Anyone can use Slack op, it's a standard messaging app and you can have groups or 1-1.