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Original poster

Saying no to sex

28 replies

paulaer · 27/07/2019 08:31

I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years. We don’t live together, I have DS aged 15. He sees his children every other weekend and works night shifts, so we don’t have a lot of time together. He’s a really sexy, fun man and we have great sex. He’s a very emotional man, I respect this but sometimes find it difficult ( hard faced cow I know). My issue is that he always wants/ expects sex every time we see each other. I’m normally up for this but earlier this week due to the intense heat and tiredness I wasn’t feeling sexy and for the first time ever explained that I wasn’t feeling sexy and could we just go out instead. OMG, he wasn’t happy. Suggested I was being unfaithful and then started crying, saying how lonely he was. I felt it should’ve been ok to say I wasn’t in the mood, no big deal, but it got blown out of proportion and I ended up going home. I’m feeling really unsettled and also, dare I say it, turned off by this. Is it a sign of things to come?

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 27/07/2019 08:35

Suggested I was being unfaithful and then started crying, saying how lonely he was

Dump. Seriously. If he can't handle not having sex with you whenever he feels like, he throws a strop? Fuck that.

SeaSidePebbles · 27/07/2019 08:35

Yup. Nip it in the bud now.

category12 · 27/07/2019 08:37

Suggested I was being unfaithful and then started crying, saying how lonely he was.

Wow. Manipulative anger/accusations and a self-pity party in one display.

That's a dumping offence.

Have you ever said no to him about anything else before?

I'd be out of there.

YouJustDoYou · 27/07/2019 08:39

Emotional blackmail. No woman needs a man in her life who will try and emotionally blackmail her into sex. No decent man would react like that. It's not a normal reaction at ALL, and tbh I'd nip that one in the bud.

Sparkybloke · 27/07/2019 08:53

Dump...if he can't understand not everyone wants sex every time They are together he is not mature enough for a relationship...

SinkGirl · 27/07/2019 08:55

This is coercion, and not even the subtle kind. I wouldn’t stay with him especially given you don’t live together etc.

pinkyredrose · 27/07/2019 09:00

He's a tosser. Get rid.

KurriKawari · 27/07/2019 10:02

Get rid. I've never said this louder on any thread before but LTB!

Mrsmummy90 · 27/07/2019 10:06

Omg how vile! Run for the hills!!!

Branleuse · 27/07/2019 10:10

wow. The first time you ever said no, he pulls this stunt. HUGE red flag

Mermaidsinthesand · 27/07/2019 20:53

I'd text him right now say dont call us we call you

Then......

BLOCK

Have a nice glass of wine some chocolates and think no more of him and his pathetic ways

Jupiter13 · 27/07/2019 20:57

What a complete freak....tell him to have a wank..😂😂😂😂

expatinspain · 27/07/2019 21:00

He's a weirdo.

Chocolatedaim · 27/07/2019 21:02

Yes get out now, that isn’t rational behaviour.

Pinkbonbon · 27/07/2019 21:03

Cray cray for CocoPuff's :/
Huge red flag.
100% dump and run, he's manipulative.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/07/2019 21:03

MASSIVE red flag, op. It's manipulative, controlling, coercive behaviour. I truly hope you now see him for who he really is. The mask has finally slipped. Run for the hills.

ilovecats12345 · 27/07/2019 21:06

Get out of that relationship, you will regret staying with him knowing sex is just what he wants! I know this may sound harsh but you deserve better than this, you will find someone who wants to be with you not just for sex. Please think about this and make a good decision for yourself x

mindutopia · 27/07/2019 21:23

Bin him. When I was dating my dh, we lived an 11 hour flight from each other on opposite sides of the world. We saw each other every 3 months. He never once threw a strop because I didn't want to have sex with him as soon as one of us arrived to see the other, or even if it wasn't until a week later.

Skittlenommer · 28/07/2019 19:11

Throw the whole damn man out!!

DariaMorgendorffer · 28/07/2019 19:16

This man is showing you who he is.

See it, believe it, and end it.

Fairenuff · 28/07/2019 19:17

Dump him.

Ragwort · 28/07/2019 19:19

Bloody hell, bin him.

My DH has a much higher sex drive than me & would love sex more often but fully accepts it might just happen once or twice a month.

He sounds like he’s only with you for sex if he ‘expects’ it every time you meet. Get rid.

1WayOrAnother · 28/07/2019 19:22

Get out now while you can, this is a massive red flag. Expecting sex no matter what is a real turn off in the end, you will resent him and he'll resent you. Cut your losses.

Mammalian · 28/07/2019 19:30

Wtf?Confused if my DH started crying every time I said no to sex he'd have flooded the house with tears by now!
But on a serious note, he should never assume he's entitled, every time he sees you

Ilovesnowsnowsnow · 28/07/2019 19:32

Run for the hills and don't look back