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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

rights of fathers

35 replies

SusieOwl4 · 24/07/2019 17:31

scenario - pregnancy and the father is known to the police and social services . The mother has been told to stay clear of him . He is saying he has a right to go to scans and midwife appointments. Is that true ? She seems willing to let him go even though the baby could possibly have SS involvement as soon as it is born ?

OP posts:
Hidingwhoiam · 24/07/2019 18:08

She knows he doesnt have rights to attend. She is telling people a line so she can claim it wasnt her choice that he attended.

theworldistoosmall · 24/07/2019 18:14

Tell her to ask any of the medical professionals involved in her care if someone who is known to the police and SS, does he have any rights to attend her medical appointments.
Yes, they will contact SS about their concerns but it sounds like her other children need the protection. I would also be letting SS aware of the situation now, and I would be letting their dad fully aware so he can remove them asap.
She is putting his needs/wants ahead of the safety of these children.
This might give her the massive kick up arse needed to go nc with this person,

SusieOwl4 · 24/07/2019 18:19

thanks - now I know what I thought is correct I will be trying to help her immediate family take the right action .

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 24/07/2019 18:26

Anyone can let SS be aware, doesn't have to be immediate family.

SusieOwl4 · 24/07/2019 18:42

oh ok - thanks for that .

OP posts:
Mermaidsinthesand · 25/07/2019 06:35

He has no rights when baby born he wont be on birth certificate if he has caused significant harm to children before he wont be allowed to see baby.

newmomof1 · 25/07/2019 06:40

@Mermaidsinthesand if he's convinced her he HAS to be at her medical appointments he'll convince her he HAS to be on the birth certificate...

blackcat86 · 25/07/2019 07:01

Really all she can do now is have no association at all..change her phone number, move if she has to. She has been told by SS to distance herself and failure to do so will indicate that she is putting herself and this man above her current children (and unborn baby) and is failing to protect them. This will likely end in a child protection plan and removal of her children to a place of safety as well as the baby once born. She needs a serious intervention. It sounds like he could potentially be emotionally abusive at least if she is hanging on his every word in this way. Have family seen any evidence of this? It could help her get DV support and counselling. Is there father of the other children a decent guy who could get residence? Have a think about who in the family could offer support and who if needed could care for baby. The last thing you want is these kids in foster care if they don't need to be.

CupoTeap · 25/07/2019 07:06

These are her medical appointments he has no legal right to attend. The baby doesn't have any appointments for him to argue to attend iyswim.

Mermaidsinthesand · 25/07/2019 12:51

Going to a medical appointment will not do any harm, midwife will ask who he is and refer to social services to help get her the support to stop him

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