rights of fathers

[SusieOwl4]

scenario - pregnancy and the father is known to the police and social services . The mother has been told to stay clear of him . He is saying he has a right to go to scans and midwife appointments. Is that true ? She seems willing to let him go even though the baby could possibly have SS involvement as soon as it is born ?

No, he has no rights to attend medical appointments, scans or the birth. It is the mother’s choice who, if anyone, attends these.

After birth he could go to court to get visitation rights. If he might be a danger to the child the mother should get legal advice now. Are SS currently involved? What do they advise the mother?

Midwife appointments iirc are more about the mum, we don't have to share our medical details with anyone.

Scans not sure.

He's probably getting confused with paternity rights with regards to attend appointments unpaid.

In her position, I would get legal advice. She will need it.

I agree - he is known to SS and can not see his other children . He is saying no one can stop him going . So if she objects then he can not go . If she agrees then he can go , that seems to be the summary . She is risking losing her other children ( not his ) even by association I think. Its an awful situation.

SS will get involved if they know he is turning up at her house - I don't think they are actually seeing each other - or they are and are trying to be clever.

Is this a family member of yours or a friend?

He has no legal right to attend anything. And if he has been prevented from seeing his other children, the same will happen with this one.

He has no right at all to attend any of her medical appointments - including scans. If I were her I'd stop telling him when they are, and he should not be informed when she is in labour from the sound of it.

the mother is a family member. And yes she has been told he wont be able to see this child but she wont listen . He is probably spinning all sorts of lies .

Theres a reason he cant see his other kids.

If she let's him near her kids then maybe, the kids shouldnt be with her.

I second what @Hidingwhoiam said.

She's not prioritising her own children if she continues contact with this man.

she does not seem to be under pressure from him - I think she has just agreed to it without thinking . It is just a horrible situation.

He has absolutely no RIGHT to attend anything - the wife herself is the patient and primary service user - it is her who gets final say in who attends anything, from scans to birth.

Well she needs to think pretty quickly.

Why do women do this honestly. Seeing a lot of threads recently where mothers are choosing men over the needs of their children. Very sad indeed.

@stilldontgiveaf yes - totally true - she has been told that as well . Even the police told her to steer clear of him .

Does she actually want him to attend or is he threatening to? If he is threatening to she shouldn’t tell him dates/times of appointments and she should talk to her MW for help with turning him away if he should turn up unexpectedly.

If she wants him to attend then he could attend, but SS may question her judgement in exposing her existing children to this man.

Any SS involvement aside, medical appointments are private appointments and no one has a 'right' to attend them beside the patient (and the patient is the mother) or to have access to medical information unless there is some legal reason to (the only instance I can image is if a mother wasn't engaging in antenatal care and SS was concerned about her wellbeing - but that has nothing to do with the father).

It doesnt matter what lies or what pressure. She knows she is putting her kids at risk by having him around.

She could quite simply contact SS and tell them he womt leave her alone. She may need to involve the police as well, if he is threatening her.

SS need to see she is taking the danger seriously. If she isnt, she isnt capable of making good decision regarding the care and safety of her children.

Sorry, I didn’t see the update. She is risking her relationship with her current children and her future child. Is there any DV involved? Could her MW get her some counseling to help her break away from this man?

He has no rights to attend another person's medical appointments.

He can only attend if the mother invites him to do so, and in the circumstances as you have outlined them, she wouid be immensely unwise to invite him.

He could seek Parental Responsibility once the DC is born. Are they married? If not it would have to be either by accompanying the mother to register the birth or by going through the courts. Having legal responsibility for a child does confer certain rights, such as making medical, educational and religious decisions for the child, in the interests of that child. The mother needs to consider, with SS perhaps, what the child's best interests are here, given that the father is already barred from seeing other DC.

The child has rights, including to a relationship with both parents. The mother could work with SS to see if a safe (supervised?) way can be found. If he is completely banned from seeing his other DC at all, then I would not be optimistic about thus being achievable.

He has 0 rights over the pregnancy.

She should leave his name off the birth certificate and the duck will have to go to court to prove the child is his. That would give her and the child some protection from him. Also give the child her name.

Ask her if he’s more important than her children, because she certainly gives that impression. I’ve no time for these stupid, selfish women that bring dross like this into their children’s lives and insist on putting him first.

Dear me. It continues to astound me how many women put the wants of men over the needs of their own children.

Not married , allegedly they are not in a relationship . She says he is not pressurising her but the fact that he is saying he has legal rights indicates he might be. she has been told by a court / her family and SS to steer clear of him . But he is one of those types who hates all authority and will claim it is just the whole world against him.

Of course he doesn't have any rights to attend her medical appointments. Does she actually believe that he does?

totally agree with all your comments I cant understand what is even going through her head . I hope now that the father of her other children gets full residential order because it might be better all round .

I think she does believe him when he says he has rights .I have told her its not true.