Do I ask if we are sleeping with other people?

[pinkyuu]

Been seeing him since about 7 weeks now.
I don't know where I stand with him.
Trying to get anything out of him is like getting blood from a stone.
I just want to know if we are seeing just each other or other people.
Do I just ask ?

Trying to get anything out of him is like getting blood from a stone
Well this won't improve so why are you bothering?
It's been 7 weeks.
Cut your loses.
Move one and just see other people.
He isn't emotionally available.
So no point asking really.

No answer is your answer.

Do you mean that you've been gently pressing for clarity but he's been deflecting and refusing to be pinned down? Or do you mean you've both just been engaged in happy go lucky chit chat this whole time but you've been secretly hoping he'll suddenly give you a clue?

If it's the former, don't bother. If it's the latter, just ask him if you've got something you want to know!

Trying to get anything out of him is like getting blood from a stone.

The early stages of dating are about getting to know someone and whether it would be wise to continue to do so. As above, you already know that he kind of sucks. What is he good for?

Why be the majority shareholder in a one sided relationship ? I couldn’t do it . “Blood from a stone” 7 weeks in, No Thanks.

I agree with everyone else, but if you're not ready to walk, then yes: just ask.

And then actually respond and act appropriately- his answer/non-answer will tell you everything you need to know.

But relationships should not be this hard at seven weeks.

He doesn't sound that interested OP to be honest. Personally I would just ditch him but you could just come out and ask him straight. If he doesn't give you a straight answer, then there is your answer.

Trying to get anything out of him is like getting blood from a stone

Why bother then?

If it's like this after 7 weeks, it won't improve.

Yes ask! And then get rid if he's seeing other women - WTF?

When I read about how relationships are these days it makes me feel incredibly old - and I'm not.

'Seeing each other' for ages and then one of you asking if you'll be their GF/BF. Not knowing if they are seeing other people - at least have the respect to concentrate on one person at a time. How little people seem to value themselves these days.

If DH buggers off I shall be an old lady with cats.

Just ask , have a glass of wine for courage if necessary and ask him " I was wondering if you were still seeing other people on dating apps "...?Just get it out there .

The initial stages of dating are hard and those saying to cut your losses have clearly not dated recently.

I think you have every right to ask if he's sleeping with other people but be prepared for his answer. how would you feel if he is seeing other people?

I've learnt (the hard way) to don't ask the questions you're not fully prepared for the answer to.

It's a bit strange that MN jury seem to always advise LTB.

'I'm unsure whether to ask him this awkward question, is it too soon?'

MN: 'if you can't ask him, it's because he's not a keeper, cut your losses and LTB!!'

Ronnie not all of us want to go out with a man who is shagging other women. I think it's fair to voice that opinion on a thread like this.

I get that this is 'modern dating' but it sounds so exhausting and depressing.

If you want to know where you stand, ask him where you stand. Done.

I've tried asking and he just said your coming on too strong and pushing me away
Why can't he just tell me

Oh god. Game player. Mind fucker. GET RID

(also...this means he probably is)

What fizzysours said.

Yep walk away. Mind games are stupid and a waste of your time.

I agree op - I think his response (or lack of) tells you the answer.

@Butterflyone1

The initial stages of dating are hard and those saying to cut your losses have clearly not dated recently.

Yikes! Are you saying that this is standard these days? To meet, shag, keep meeting, keep shagging, but still have no idea what the relationship is or if you're exclusive?

Is this what everyone's doing now?

Oooh, he's playing a good game- making you feel needy for asking a legitimate question.

You don't have to sleep with anyone who isn't exclusive with you, and who isn't prepared to have that conversation.
You don't have to be serious with anyone who won't have a conversation with you about it.

OP

I've tried asking and he just said your coming on too strong and pushing me away. Why can't he just tell me

He is telling you! He's not answering the question literally, but he's giving you a LOT of very useful information in this answer. He's telling you:

• He thinks he's the "prize" in this situation
• He doesn't respect you enough to be open with you
• He thinks you're so scared of losing him that even the merest hint of his feeling "pushed away" will cause you to back off with your (perfectly normal) questions and leave him in peace, rather than lose him
• He clearly believes his penis is gold-plated
• You can do so much better than this. Or at least, not much worse.

Don't be too literal. How someone doesn't answer a question is just as revealing as how they do.

I think you know he's being an idiot. If you want permission to sack him off, you have mine!

Why can't he just tell me?

Because keeping it vague gives him permission to shag around. The bigger question is, why are you bothering? The ducking and diving and turning things around so that you’re the bad guy is a trait you should be avoiding.

If I guy wants you, you'll know about it. He's making excuses and probably using you.

He's not feeling it.

Leave him to it OP!