Cheated on ex with a prostitute

[GreenPillows]

Is this a red flag for you?

I’ve known this guy a couple of months and it’s all fairly intense but he’s lovely and things seem easy and right.

We were having one of those disclosure conversations though and he told me he cheated on his ex wife with prostitutes. He said he told her in the end and it led to them breaking up. He wanted me to know because he didn’t want secrets and that it would never happen again.

I feel really odd about it. How would you feel?

@GreenPillows I think he is potentially sowing the seed. He might think he is entitled. So maybe ex didn’t give him enough or he could be into some sort of practices she didn’t want to take part in. If he does it to you or whoever the new person is in the future, he has the excuse to say: I feel bad but this is my need and I am entitled to have it fulfilled.
Either way, I am relieved for you that there is a red flag early on. I hope you are not too emotionally attached to him yet x

That would be a “goodbye” from me.

Gross.

Ok I’ll do it today 🙁

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Why is this so hard

It’s hard because he has only shown you his good side now. I wish you good luck, big hugs x

get out now before you get too much more involved. Hes shown you that if you wont do something, that he will go to any means necessary to do it to another woman, and if theyre not into it, he doesnt mind doing it anyway if he can bribe them into it

I'd also be leaving. Followed by a trip for an STD check

Because you liked him.
So of course it is hard.
But quite rightly, you saw that as a massive red flag.
I think you minimise things in your head when you don't really want to face them.
But face it you must.
End it and then get to your GUM or SHAW clinic.

He won't stop. They're addicts and don't really think there's anything wrong with it. They think it's not really cheating because it's "just sex".
Bye bye.

Good for you for ending it. He's disgusting and he was testing you, too, by telling you about it.

I remember reading that 1 in 9 men had paid for sex in the last 5 years.

It’s not as uncommon as some would think. It’d be a no from me though. Cheating is one thing, paying for the privilege is both embarrassing & grim

Chuck him OP
He will do it again

@NameChangeNugget

I know a woman who married a man who had only ever slept with prostitutes as he had a job offshore and for some reason, this was his go to option. However it has lasted for them. In this case, the man cheated which would in itself put me off

Be glad he’s told you now. My ex pretended to be a gentleman, then I discovered he’d seen escorts whilst with me and abroad for work & gone on a sex site. I’d have run a mile if I’d known he was such a sket from the get go!!

That's a massive red flag, OP. I would not even give this man another second of my time as he will 100% do the same to you. Vile.

Using prostitutes would be over a line for me. It would be like him saying he'd done crack cocaine or had a conviction for domestic abuse.

He'll want a pat on the back for his ' honesty'

I’ve ended it. There were a few other red flags too - the intensity comments by pps got me thinking too and think he also falls in ‘love’ too quickly which worries me.

And it sounds daft but ick factor aside the idea of someone using prostitution made me feel really insecure

Sigh.

But future me will be grateful.

Well done for looking after yourself x

How did he take it?

He wanted me to know because he didn’t want secrets and that it would never happen again.

Dont tell me, he got morals?

That’s very brave of you, it must have been hard. I hope you meet a decent lovely guy soon 🤗

You very smart wise and strong woman. Now don’t look back x

You definitely did the right thing. Thank god he told you and you didn’t have to find out the hard way further down the line when he did it again. Vile man!

Omg you had a SERIOUSLY lucky escape!

Gosh no get rid that’s degrading and disgusting