I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to in real life. It’s not that I don’t have people I am close to. I do. I think I’m just scared to say the words out loud.
Things between my husband and I are not good. They haven’t been for a long time. We have been married for six years and we have two girls, aged 4 and 2.
We get on ok. We don’t argue much, especially not in front of the girls. We generally rub along fine. Nothing has happened. I just don’t feel much for him any more.
I feel angry with him for a lot of stuff. That I live far away from my family and married him on the understanding that we might move back sometime - it never happened and it’s since become apparent that he never really had any intention of moving. DD1 starts a good school this year and she’s happy here so it’s too late now really. I accept we live in a great place for our girls but I feel really cheated too. And lonely.
He’s a good dad, the girls adore him and he’s really involved and hands on. I wish he was a little more patient sometimes but noting that gives me any cause for concern. Our girls are amazing and we are so lucky. But our marriage is crap. I know he’s unhappy too but if I try to raise it with him he just puts it down to the stress of having two young children and hard jobs and kind of dismisses it. He doesn’t really take me seriously. So we have stopped talking and now I feel like what’s the point.
We are like housemates raising children. I think that’s the crux of it.
I have thought about leaving but I just can’t do it to the girls. I can’t take them away from him they adore him and it would devastate them. I thought I could just live this way and it would be fine but it’s really getting me down.