Actually dreading him coming home

[Whitebeltatlife]

Had many problems with ‘d’p but it’s just hit a whole new low. He’s been going through some stuff recently, in turn we all have, mainly down to drinking, his way of dealing with it? You guessed it. More drinking.

He left this morning to run some errands with a “I’ll be back in a little while” (7am) he’s still out, I’ve not chased because I don’t really care. I’ve been on my own with baby and 3 kids. Just had a text to say he will be home soon and I am literally dreading it. He will come home, be horrible to me, to kids, start trying to tell them what to do despite the fact he’s had no involvement all day and it will all just end in tears. I don’t know why I can’t find the strength to tell him to leave.

Shouting at your children.

Please take this on board , if you cant think about yourself, think about them

I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this.

It’s not easy to leave with 4 kids, I don’t blame you for being scared. But there are people here and in RL who can support you, whatever you decide to do.

If you can’t find the strength to tell him to leave - can you find the strength to leave yourself?
You can’t live like this. How long have you felt like that?

White I’m sorry you are going through this. I have very little advice aside from look after you and your little ones. Drunk grown ups can be scary for little people. Take care.

He’s still not even home, don’t know wether to be relieved or more stressed that he will be even drunker!!

The house is in my name, although we moved into together and it’s our “home”. It will be him that leaves. He actually “leaves me” on an almost weekly basis at the moment, it kills me, god knows why. I know in my heart of hearts I should just let him go. He’s like jekyl and Hyde and at the moment every single little thing I do is wrong and when I ask what now I get “you being you” - I do EVERYTHING for this absolute idiot of a man. When he’s not like this the kids adore him and when he goes one of the children will go with him which is tough although her mum has always said she will maintain the child’s relationship with him should it end. I know I need to set an example, to the girls to not let someone treat you this way and to the boy to know it’s not ok to treat someone else like it. I dread the life of struggle as well as everything else, not that it’s my main concern but it does worry me, I barely survive on the money I that’s mine and that’s because half the time I don’t pay my bills. God it’s such a mess.

Well he’s just left me again. I don’t know how to cope

I don’t know what to do

grab the opportunity with both hands: change the locks, start planning for a safe happy future. Check out entitledto website to start planning finances.

I used to live like this, it's wonderful not to any more. It could be wonderful for you and more importantly your children too.

You don't have to do anything right now do you? Take a deep breath, pour a cup of tea and sit down. Forget about him for a few moments and focus on yourself and your kids. The important thing to remember is that he doesn't make you happy does he? Take each day at a time but start to really analyse his behaviour recently. He is not making you happy

Grow up, is what you do.

Sorry. I know how harsh that is. But you’re a parent. Stop expecting your children to pay the price for your “great love” for this man🙄🙄🙄

You know exactly what to do. Don't let him back. Pack his stuff up and have it returned to him.

grab the opportunity with both hands: change the locks, start planning for a safe happy future. Check out entitled to website to start planning finances

This^^

You and your kids will be happier for it.

Aww, sounds like you’re walking on eggshells. Not a way to live. Please take this opportunity to throw him out once and for all. The house is yours, so no worries there. He can just bog off with his boozing. You sound like you don’t need him and neither do your dc.

Are some of the children not yours? Your last post implies there is at least one who is just his.

Pack his stuff. Change the locks. Don’t let him back in.

You sit down and breath.
Do not take him back ever, you deserve better than to wait for a nasty man to come home....

Stay strong, DO NOT take him back..call a friend (or family) make a plan, and hold your head high, your kids needs you to stay strong and not see you be weak and let him back in. Keep them in the forefront of your mind
Lots of love, you can do this

Pack his bags and lock the doors from the inside.

Seize the opportunity to be free. As said previously change the locks and fill in Universal Credit forms, contact Council for reduced council tax.

Be free. Be happy

Interesting about the 'leaving you'. Deliberately hurting you to distract away from the fact he's a fucking scummy alcoholic?

Let him be gone. Your life will be immeasurably better without that level of deliberate abuse.

He's an alcoholic don't let him back, don't let him run your and your DCs lives any further.

He's done you a favour.

He's an addict. And while we are told we should take sympathy on those suffering with addiction it should not be to the detriment of yourself or your children. He is not going to change until he wants to and that clearly isn't now. You need to get rid, it might give him a kick up the arse and you can sort things together, or he might continue being an arse and then you're well rid anyway. Stop putting him first and stop allowing him to put you all last. It's your house so that's a benefit to you, go on entitledto and see if you can get some financial help. You can't waste your life like this.

Phone up and apply for everything you can as a single parent, then onto CMS to claim maintenance from him.

Change the locks and pack his bags.