Don't know what to do, please help

[givenup455]

Hi, new to MN.

My DP and I have been together 7 years. We're childhood sweethearts.

DP was at uni when he first cheated on me. He cheated with 1person (sex), then another (unprotected sex) , 2 girls (sexual touching) then another 3 just kissing etc.
I forgave (stupid I know)

He's just got a grad job, I've started a new job etc. He seems to mention one person all the time. She moaned her life is crap, her husband wants to die, her kid isn't well etc etc. I just feel so bloody stupid, trapped and I don't know what to do.

She really is causing me to stress as I can predict this behaviour and know she's trying to get Dps good nature. :(

It’s not her you should be angry at, it’s him.
He’s not in love with you and able to treat you this way, I’m sorry.

He doesn’t have a good nature. You should let her have him and move on.

It sounds like he is the one you should be worried about not her. He’s not acting like your sweetheart either is he?

Sorry but I would think about calling it a day.

Oh my god. The problem is HIM.

Not her, not you, HIM.

How is she causing you stress? Isn't it him? Why are you forgiving him and blaming the women?

@Bluntness100 maybe I'm so bloody stupid? I think it's because I am so scared to be alone. No reason why.
I need to get a f**king grip.

I know it feels like you've been together a long time but seriously do you want years and years of this?

You know could have a partner who doesn't cheat on you? That way you don't have to go through the wringer on a regular basis. This will not get better.

Being on your own might not be as bad as you think. You deserve better.

Yes you do need to get a grip. He keeps cheating on you. So far at least six times you know of. Possibly more. And now this.

Shes not the problem. He's a serial cheat.

Like you said, you need to get a grip. I'm astounded you would forgive all those incidents. He has no respect for you or your sexual health. Get rid and find someone worthy of you. He's taking you for a mug and you're letting him.

You'll be a lot less lonely than you are now. Get a life for yourself, make friends, socialise. This manboy will string you along for as long as you'll let him.
However much you think it will hurt, and it probably will, but you're hurting anyway. Dump him, move on. The pain will end and life will be good. There will be somebody much better for you out there and you'll be glad you moved on.

Really needed to hear this. I'm only 22 so feel horrible. My parents gave me £10k towards our 'wedding' ... I'm so confused

Are you actually married ?

@Bluntness100 no

Even if you are. You're 22.dump him and move on.

Op, just end this, he's a serial cheat. Why are you taking it? Scared to be alone at 22? You should be out there, having fun, meeting new people, building your life.

Not putting up with this shit.

Wow, he has cheated on you so MANY times.

Why do you think you cannot do better than this?

Even if in your eyes it was terrible to be single, which it isn't, being single would be a lot better than this.

End it without drama, walk away, leave him to his flirting and cheating.

Don't listen to excuses. He doesn't make you FEEL valued, so no matter what he says, you need to FEEL valued and as you don't you are entitled to end this relationship.

No doubt he'll tel you you're crazy, dramatic, sensitive, unreasonable, over reacting, blah blah blah blah blah. It might be easier to tell him you've gone off him.

Don't worry about your wedding.

My parents went to Australia when I cancelled a wedding and they had a fucking excellent time. We all laugh about it now.

DPs good nature? You're 22 and he's cheated on you SEVEN times, including potentially exposing you to all manner of STD's.

You're not childhood sweethearts - he's a scum bag and you're an idiot for letting him treat you like this. You are worth SO much more. Please walk away.

Go travelling with friends or on your own. Use some of the money your parents gave you

Perspective is what you need. There is a big wide world out there...cowing down to a cheating man is diminishing you

Please get hold of a copy of ''a woman in your own right'' by Anne Dickson and read it. Also, fabulous book, the basics, absolutely the basics of self worth ''The six pillars of self esteem'' by Nathaniel Brandon.

Read those books OP and when you've read them both you might be able to believe that people LIKE you can walk away from a shitty relationship that makes you feel so worthless.

He's cheated on you with 7 different people in 7 years. That's not 'childhood sweethearts' and he doesn't have a 'good nature'. You need to move on!

You've basically given him a green light to cheat because every time he does it you forgive him. I am sorry that you think this is something you should tolerate. It is not.

Please kick him out you will not regret it.

You're all right.
I think I'm just so scared about being alone. I haven't ever been with anyone apart from him. Too good to be true... pass me the wine

Please leave. It won't get better and rather now before you're financially stuck with children. Honestly I know how you feel but bite the bullet now. He doesn't love you.