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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My friend and his wife both stopped talking to me

28 replies

Lozie373 · 18/07/2019 12:25

Ok this will be a bit of a long post so grab some biscuits and a drink 😂
I've known these friends for about three years. We met through a job I had at the time. We're all in our early thirties now. We've always had a good friendship. We share the same interests and we would meet up for drinks at mine and my bfs house. My bf is from Spain and we have been planning to move back there for 4 and a half years. These friends knew this from our beginning getting to know you conversations at work. So as I said we met up regularly and would drink into the early hours, listen to music, play games and have a laugh. We'd talk about being best friend's. We were the first people they told when they got pregnant at the beginning of last year. Even asked if I would be at the birth to which I responded of course. Other friends found this request very odd but I thought hey it's my friends. So I went to a few hospital and dr's appointments.they had a false alarm near the end of the pregnancy so I went to the hospital despite having work the next day because I had already informed them of being at the birth. So the dr's said to go home and it was 5 in the morning. I didn't go into work so I missed a days pay. I was fine with this. So fast forward from November to the end of may. Me and my bf were going to see his family in spain. Which we do every year to year. The wife offered to look after our cat on a couple of occasions previous to us going saying she would visit everyday and spend a few hours with her. I said that she didn't need to spend all that time just make sure she's got food and fresh water and a fresh litter tray and that it would be a great help. So a few weeks before I was talking about the cat and the trip. She started to become really quiet about the subject. Her husband had also been quiet for a while. She started ignoring my messages. I was angry. I never asked, she offered on a few occasions otherwise I would have found a sitter or put her into a cattery but it was too late for the vaccinations. So I had to ask my boss which was embarrassing but she agreed. Since then I have heard from them once or twice but not for the last month. So I looked on their Twitter (which I don't have) I had a feeling something was up and I read this message she had wrote
"Sigh.... I'm in such a mood with my friend, and it's because shes recently been on holiday in Spain to see her boyfriend's family, and I know that eventually they are going to move there for good because theres a job opportunity for her boyf, and our friendship is going..
To go down the drain, just like all my friendships seem to.and I want to support her in her aspirations and I want her to have a good life because shes deserves it, but I dont want to be friendless again, and I dont know how to tell her because I dont want to ruin it for her 😥"
But when she next messaged me she just said she'd been busy and had been "in a mood" with her husband. And that she'd been really really busy. Despite the fact she's constantly on social media and never leaves the house. I felt bad when I read her tweet but I also have felt really angry. Neither me or my bf are from the place we live. We moved here because it's cheap to save money. They are our only friends here everyone else lives in London and Spain where we are from. So they've stopped talking to me because I won't stay here for the rest of my life. We have no family here. I'm not sure how to handle the situation or if I just keep doing what they're doing and just ignore them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Messages I sent them over a month ago have been read but ignored. I don't feel like I should chase people when I've done nothing wrong. Just seems really childish to me.

OP posts:
Lozie373 · 18/07/2019 19:40

She's upto date but the cattery needs a one shot booster 2weeks before irrespective of when they've had other vaccinations

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 18/07/2019 19:50

She sounds like a fairweather friend. Pops up when she needs you.

If she's being so childish and ignoring your messages...leave her be and stop messaging.

I would block her on all social media and get on with my life. It's not like you're moving to Antarctica is it.

I've got neither the time or the patience for such nonsense from a so called friend.

SwordofGryffindor · 19/07/2019 15:48

Writing that on twitter is something a 14 year old would do !! You're better off without !

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