female "friend" - what is acceptable and what isn't?

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Would you be ok if your partner spoke on the phone a few times a week with a female "friend" who is nearly half your partner's age. This female friend also texts your partner, she send pictures of her son etc. Partner says all they talk about is work, but I find the whole thing really weird. Why is she calling my partner multiple times a week? Why is she sending pictures of her son to my partner? He doesn't see anything wrong with it, but it bothers me! Am I overreacting? Would you be ok with this?

I would not be okay with this and would ask him to put a stop to it.
If it makes you feel insecure in your relationship, then in my book it’s not acceptable.
If he argues that he’s not giving up his ‘friend’ just because you are unhappy, then you have a problem.
You’ll get lots of people coming on here saying they have friends of the opposite sex - and that’s okay. But when behaviour starts to impact on partners, making them feel insecure - then it’s time to make a stand.

My husband had an emotional affair with a colleague and a lot of what you're saying rings alarm bells.

He spoke to her about our relationship and my behaviour in it, he spoke for periods after work and outside of normal "friendship colleagues" hours (ie at night, early morning). Mostly by text and he would let her know when I was around.

She was keen texting him a lot and sharing her life with him. She sucked him in gradually and he let her.

Please have a calm and honest conversation and ask if you can see their interactions. If there is nothing to hide I'm sure he'd be happy to put your distress to rest. Relationships are meant to be open.

If he argues that he’s not giving up his ‘friend’ just because you are unhappy, then you have a problem.
You’ll get lots of people coming on here saying they have friends of the opposite sex - and that’s okay. But when behaviour starts to impact on partners, making them feel insecure - then it’s time to make a stand.

1000% this.

One thing I learnt the very hard way is that when you're asking someone are you willing to damage your marriage for this "friend" and they are willing to then...they aren't just a friend.

So how long has he been friends with her? How long have you been together?

These are important questions

I asked him last night if she contacted him recently, I think he felt quite uncomfortable with the question and just said no and said nothing else. I think he is lying

I'd definitely be wary! Drop it for a while with him though. Let him think you've accepted it then go through his phones to see if there are any bigger red flags.

"He says she sees him as a father figure"

#daddyissues

I would not be ok with that at all. What do they possibly have in common, and need to talk about that much. A partner should always put you and your feelings first. The fact he won't speaks volumes.

Your husbands reaction at the mere suggestion of a dinner together might just tell you all you need to know.

Yup. That.
There's no reason why it should be a problem to invite his good friend to dinner if she is just a friend and also, if she is a decent human being who really just his friend she probably would want to meet you anyway to waylay any fears you might have about their friendship. 'Give me her number and I'll call her and invite her for dinner tomorrow' - see if the colour drains from his face.