Husband and housework?!

[LooLoo26]

I'm just curious how you all split the housework/chores in your household?

Me and my husband don't have any children yet but we do have 2 dogs. My husband is out the house for work from 7am until 6pm and I'm out the house at work from 11.30am until 7.30pm as I walk our 2 dogs (high energy) before I go to work. He takes them out again when he gets home.

However... I do everything around the house, all the cleaning, washing, cooking, clearing out cupboards, food shopping, care for dogs (except him walking them in the evening) I make all appointments/arrangements for anything we do, I have to constantly remind him to pay something that needs paying or to contact someone for something we need etc etc.

When he is not at work he is playing his X box and says it's my job to do everything around the house because I work less even though that's a mutual decision for many reasons.

He is a lovely supportive husband in every other way and makes me very happy, we have a great relationship It's just currently I'm feeling the housework side of things is unfair and I'm not sure how to address it? When I make comments about it he just shrugs it off or makes me feel bad about bringing it up

Sometimes I get a bit sniffy because I feel that I'm left to do all the housework and the cooking.

But this weekend has reminded me that DH does ALL of the outside maintenance (gardening, hedge cutting, sweeping, painting the 80 ft long fence and decking).

Okay, he may not spend as much time on outside maintenance over the year as I spend daily doing the cooking, cleaning and washing, but I would prefer to do the cooking, cleaning and washing than outside maintenance.

Then I stop being sniffy.

In your circumstances I'd do 15 hours a week housework extra, then split the rest.

it's my job to do everything around the house because I work less even though that's a mutual decision for many reasons

Does he assume you agreed fo this on the basis that you worked less?.

In your circumstances I'd do 15 hours a week housework extra, then split the rest

I’d ony do this if he divides his income equally with you. And you pay into your pension the same amount as he does. Plus extra to take account of your career disadvantage from working part time.

BTW never met a man yet who actually does this. Most are happy for her to do all the unpaid low status work while he does the high status paid stuff and reaps the benefit, in the short and longer term.

YANBU. When you don't have children, you pull your own weight.

You've chosen to have a job that requires you to be out the house for 8 hours a day. He's chosen one that requires him to be out for 11 hours. That's his choice. If he doesn't like it, he needs to look for another job. What do you mean by 'it's a mutual decision' that you work fewer hours?

You have no dependents (not including the dogs). So no reason not to split the housework equally. You both generate mess, and need to be fed. So you both need to tidy / clean and do the cooking / washing up. Presumably you both have hobbies you'd like to enjoy, and would both like some downtime.

Your DH needs to pull his own weight.

As the OP and her DH have no children, 15 hours a week is plenty for all chores, including cooking.

The idea of the person spending longer hours in paid work having to do an equal amount of housework is unrealistic and unsustainable as the person doing the longer hours will, quite reasonably, rebel.

The OP says "He is a lovely supportive husband in every other way and makes me very happy, we have a great relationship". That hardly suggest he is the sort of lazy, abusive prick that some on this thread would like to believe he is.