Domestic incident social services follow up

[Westway16]

Can someone help me. I'm at my wits end. Iv secretly been seeing a guy for a short time now. My family knew of him at the start then made me finish with him as they just didn't like the sound of his past. I have a daughter and she's 10. Since I have been seeing him she has not been aware of this and has not been in contact with him. He has a child of his own who is in foster care. There is an ongoing case between him and the mother as their baby was hurt when it was born. I believed that he did not harm this baby but because social services involved I told him I didn't want him around my child until they got to the bottom of this case. He did something completely out of the blue yesterday evening. My daughter was at her grandmothers and he had been drinking. While I was asleep he took my company car without license and insurance and under the influence and was stopped by the police! The car was returned to me ok and he was taken into custody. Later that day when he was released he contacted me and I told him this had to end between us. He had broken the trust taking my car and I couldn't risk anything like this in the future. Last night he then showed up at my home calling and texting continuously, my daughter fast asleep, I panicked and called the police to get him to leave. They told me they would have to forward to gateway social services and now I'm worrying they will get involved in my child's life. Baring in mind she is oblivious to the relationship me and him were having but with his own son currently in care what is going to happen?? I feel like now I need to own up and tell family. Such a mess and I just don't want to see him ever again. Please help me.

SS will just want to make sure you and your DD are well out of this now.
Let them help you.
Tell your family so they know as SS sometimes speak with family as well.
Your family can help keep him away from you.
You need to learn to spot red flags far sooner than this OP.

Flip me so many critical people. I said up until the car scenario he did no wrong on me or my home. Regardless if he was stealing my car / going to the shops / going for a spin or whatever he still took it without my knowledge. The car is little relevance to the help and advice I’m actually looking on here. I want to know if social services will be interested in investigating further or since I’ve knocked the nail on the head with this guy and called the cops, should it be ok? I have nothing on my record ever in my life.

It's ended and the police were involved.
You did everything you should to protect yourself and your DD from this person.
They will probably just have a chat with you and then close the case.

His child was in foster care getting ready to be adopted that alone should have been enough for you to steer clear. I think that’s what people are saying. Wouldn’t have come to car borrowing/ stealing. Meeting daughter secrets from family.
Never should have got that far

Thank you hellsbellsmelons. X

No she didn’t do everything she could to protect her daughter, not going any where near him would have been the best way to protect her daughter.
You keep saying I like giving people the benefit of the doubt as if it’s a virtue it’s not.

I’m sure there are millions of women in the world that stick around for the wrong guy. Believing the bullshit and preying on their good natures. Yes I messed up befriending this person not denying that. It was really a friendship that grew and I listened when he needed someone to vent to. I just can’t turn the clock back!

Just bear in mind that Op wouldn't have had all the information about the child taken into care. If she's had no SS experience, she wouldn't know that the father would have the child returned to him unless there was good reason why not.
It's not that shocking that OP thought she could wait for a final outcome/decision from SS before making up her mind.

We don't all become mothers knowing how SS works, how bad relationships work, otherwise we'd never make mistakes.

Maybe she should have come on here saying "he says... what do you think" then we'd have given her the benefit of our combined wisdom.

What she wants now is reassurance that SS are not going to swoop in- which they won't because OP didn't let the man near her DD.
Now she knows.

I think you'd hope with a friendship you'd know it was the sort of guy whose kid was in care, accused of harming an infant, who would steal your car whilst you were sleeping, be in your house drinking, and then drive it drunk and without a licence, and then come to your house whilst your daughter was there, and need the police calling on him to stop him hassling you. The kind of guy who your family had already asked you to stop seeing for you and your child's own safety and you lied to.

Social services are going to want to be sure this man really is out of your life as he is likely a danger to children. A brief check will show you lied to your family about this already, and they may be cause them to be cautious in believing you to be putting your child first.

I have had no experience with SS. I have had only a couple relationships in my life. I’m 35 this month. I’m not a child and I’m not stupid I have a good job & home and I suppose we just got on? He treated me well and was some company for-me at times. I know I did not have any facts or evidence I was just going on everything he was telling me or showing me. He let me read the notes from the social workers and everything was so positive on his side, the mother was getting most of the negative comments (I seen this black and white) she couldn’t interact with the child she could not handle or hold the child correctly and she didn’t bring age appropriate toys she was missing contacts etc. Anything I read on his side was good child interacts with his dad brilliantly his time kept getting increased and put up etc etc. However the court case just seemed to be ongoing as there is no solid evidence on either side (or from what I was told) he swore blind how much he loved his son and cried sore that he never harmed this wee one. I understand it is good to be open with family but if you have a family anything like mine once you tell them something they look into everything and always have something to say. So I kept my private life private. At age of 35 do I have to tell everyone everything.

Thank you picklemepopcorn xx

If he was such a great father, why on earth isn’t he bringing up his own child? How often does he have contact?

The courts will not remove his rights and place his child for adoption if he is a good enough father. He’s told you a pack of lies.