BPD mother has attempted suicide

[LemonFritz]

This time suicide was aimed at my brother and I didn’t get any warning messages/ abuse preceding attempt.

This is the first time in my adult life that she has been unwell enough to be admitted to hospital following attempt.

My personal management of threats is to not indulge and call the police. My best friend killed herself two years ago and I told my mum very forcefully to not use suicide as a weapon towards me.

I don’t know what to do next. I do not want to indulge her with attention and emotional outpourings and want to maintain the boundaries I have been building over the past two years.

How much do I contact/ visit her? I typically see her once per week.

LemonFritz I'm sorry you have had to suffer so much at the hands of your mother and my condolences for the tragic passing of your friend
I have BPD, was diagnosed at 18 and interestingly my doctors attribute my disorder in part to my traumatic childhood at the hands of abusive alcoholic parents.
I speak as a person with BPD as well as a daughter of an abusive mother when I tell you your mum's battles are not yours to fight. You cant take award the feelings of emptiness, mistrust and constant avalanche of emotions she feels. You sound like a wonderful daughter who has went above and beyond for your mother but you need to stick to your guns and enforce boundaries on what you will tolerate from her. You dont deserve abuse and her condition doesnt give her a pass to treat others like shit. Send her care packages while she is in hospital and visit her when you are ready. Let her know you love her and are there for support but leave when it gets too much and do not put up with any abuse. Thoughts are with you and your mum x

OP I should have said, my posts were not at all aimed at you. You sound like a wonderful daughter and your mother is lucky to have you. I would say though that going NC might devastate your mum. Judging by her current state, it doesn’t sound to me like she did it for attention. So to end contact would be cruel. I agree it’s a very fine balance when you’re supporting a BPD sufferer but cutting contact entirely could be devastating for your mum. My thoughts are with you both

I'm glad I've come across this thread -I am Lin a similar position with a relative who is overdosing daily and then calling herself and ambulance. She was kept in the last time and is refusing to eat which I think is linked to the lack of control.

She has just been sectioned and I am hoping that she is kept in long enough to really start addressing the problems.

I don't believe she wants to kill her self but I do believe she wants the attention. One day it's going to go tits up though.

The hard thing to deal with is that she never talks about anything and just puts on a happy shiny front as if she's not just swallowed packets of paracetamol and is just having a lovely day out in a hospital ward!

She has asked another relative to support her appeal against a section because she truly believes there's nothing wrong with her.

@mmdck why is that massive rant directed at me? I've never addressed you at any point!

Having read the thread, can I just say that I can understand those with BPD being upset by some of the terms used by posters. But this thread is about the OP and to support her.

It may be an idea to start another thread about perceptions of BPD, where those with the condition can have their feelings heard.

It isn't really fair to make the thread about BPD and how it is perceived in general, when OP is going through a very acutely stressful time.

We ALL need support, but can we be fair to each other about where we seek it? Not trying to be the thread police, just very much feeling for ALL those posting on the thread and thinking how to support everyone.

Thanks for all of your perspectives.

I have found this thread very upsetting and triggering each time I have returned to it. I now need to stop reading replies.

My mum is doing well and awake, I have been with her twice today but will attempt to continue with work tomorrow.

@LemonFritz