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Original poster

WWYD - question about new guy

55 replies

SnakesandKnives · 09/07/2019 15:59

Hi everyone, I have a very minor issue I would be interested to get others views on as me and my friend don’t really agree on how to proceed! This is totally a first world problem and very minor so I hope I don’t offend anyone on here with actual serious issues.

I met a guy via an iPad game I’ve been playing for a while - it’s one where you’re in an alliance. Via the various Line groups for the game it came up that he lived not only in the UK as well but only 20 minutes away. He had always been a nice guy in the game and we agreed to meet at a pub between where we lived.

First time we met I got there early so I could do the Mumsnet recommended approach - see him arrive etc, not have to wander round looking for someone and all that. So i saw him arrive (seen pics of him). He was in a battered bright green Fiat which I only knew as I used to have one exactly the same (this is relevant!) Anyway - we got on brilliantly, had a great evening and I then met him there again the next week.

Roll on to last weekend and agreed to meet him again. Best friend was excited about all this and got me to agree she could come and pick me up so she could see him......so at the end of the evening we go out to the car park and I noticed his car wasn’t there and mentioned it. He responded quite oddly and was flustered just said he was getting a taxi - but was just a bit strange about it. He also said he’d book it when he knew I’d been picked up safely.

So get in car with friend and tell her and she immediately said ‘he’s married and getting picked up’. Am not proud but we agree to drive out of car park and park over the road and watch to see who comes. Instead literally 30 seconds later he comes out of the pub and walks up the road next to it and then unlocks a parked car which the doors open vertically on. Gets in and starts it with a noise like a roll of thunder and then drives off. It was dark and I’m not great with cars, but it was very low, very wide and clearly expensive.

So.....I have no idea what to think. He has been lovely online and in person, and seems really genuine......but he has obviously not been totally open.....and I don’t know why. Friend thinks I should confront him about it...I’m not sure it’s really my business.

So...what would you do and what does it mean if anything?!

Thank you if you bothered to read all that :)

S&N

OP posts:
iklboo · 09/07/2019 16:06

Sounds like an expensive car. He could be quite well off and doesn't want to show it off. Maybe your friend picking you up to check him out threw him? He could have been planning to surprise you with the posh motor.

Shoxfordian · 09/07/2019 16:10

Were you on a date or just friends? Don't think it required the stakeout op...

IncrediblySadToo · 09/07/2019 16:11

I would have to ask him when I saw him. I’d start by asking where his Green Fiat has gone & progress into the hidden car weirdness

I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who I felt was lying to me, even about something like this, the ‘why he’s lying?’ Would bother me

In a way it’s nithubg to do with you what he’s driving etc but it becomes your business when he’s lying to you

I imagine I’m going to be in the minority with my opinion though, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

IncrediblySadToo · 09/07/2019 16:13

It’s not that likely he was going to ‘surprise you with the flash motor’ given you’ve always driven your car there so wouldn’t have needed a lift

Plus I’d be unimpressed with a bloke who thought I should be somehow ‘impressed’ by a showy car. I prefer my men to be a bit less superficial personally.

ravenmum · 09/07/2019 16:14

He doesn't want you to know how well off he is on a second date?

Original poster
SnakesandKnives · 09/07/2019 21:10

Thanks very much all, really appreciate it

It was def a date that time Blush :)

I don’t feel he lied - as nothing was mentioned about it, or cars or anything at any time - but it was clearly done deliberately.

He’s been totally normal in all our chats since too - argh maybe I should just ask...but if ravenmum is right he might then think I’m snooping into his money. Gargh!

OP posts:
cccameron · 09/07/2019 21:27

Maybe he's really wealthy and wants to make sure you like him and not just his money

Dinks66 · 09/07/2019 21:29

I'd have gone with, he has money and needs to make sure that you're not just after him for his money. That's why he parked it away from the car park.
Just go with the flow and enjoy his company. All will be revealed eventually.

Sheep90 · 09/07/2019 21:34

Do you know much about his life in terms of what he does for a living, etc? I agree that if someone is wealthy, they might want to suss out who they can trust before letting it be known they have a lot of money. Aside from the car situation, is there anything else he's said that doesn't add up? Ie: if he's said he's unemployed or in a modest job?

Musti · 09/07/2019 21:34

It sounds like he's rich and wants to make sure you're not a gold digger. He may come from a wealthy family and seen it too often.

MyOtherProfile · 09/07/2019 21:38

Weird. Maybe the fiesta was his and he borrowed the posh car to give you a lift home in as a treat, then felt embarrassed because you had a plan already.

Or not.

PicsInRed · 09/07/2019 21:43

If he was trying to hide wealth and you're in town, he'd just take an Uber.

Why would he be "dropped off" in the fiesta, rather than just walk up from somewhere further down? Why would he park a secret car right near the pub containing the woman he's trying to hide it from?

Nah.

sheshootssheimplores · 09/07/2019 21:44

I’d say the same. He has money, wants to get to know you without you liking the cash. DP had a sports car and a normal car when we met. I knew nothing about the flash car until we’d been dating a while (he wasn’t rich though which is annoying Grin).

Mamabear12 · 09/07/2019 21:49

If he is wealthy, I would be turned off w how insecure he is on having to go to that length to hide it.

Guiltypleasures001 · 09/07/2019 21:53

I wouldn't be turned off for him doing that, he might have had a bad experience

I also wouldn't be telling him about your stakeout, just see where it goes, would be a shame to blow it for the sake of him being a bit careful.

Redshoesandtheblues · 09/07/2019 22:00

I'd leave it alone for now.
My first thought was, he's testing you out to ensure you like him for right reasons.

Grin
Orangepear · 09/07/2019 22:06

Was it this car? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_SLS_AMG
Nice! Not the kind of thing I'd drive to the pub and leave in a side street, mind!

Soconfusedandlost · 09/07/2019 22:13

Could it be that the fancy car is a rental or something?

Basically someone drove into my car (Toyota aygo) which made it undriveable. Under the insurance I had a courtesy car for 4 days. When I rang to arrange the car. They offered me to pay to upgrade the car for that length of time as an "offer" type thing. The one I picked wasn't that fancy but it was very classy compared to the Toyota aygo missing a back bumper that I drove usually. For work it felt great. For a trip to the pub 10 minutes away in a small place, if have felt like a right nelly. Maybe it's a similar type deal

theworldistoosmall · 09/07/2019 22:15

A friend of mine does something similar until he gets to know more. He used to meet a lot of gold diggers.

MollyHuaCha · 09/07/2019 22:20

I'd prefer people just to be truthful. At the beginning of a relationship people shouldn't be hiding things.

purpleboy · 09/07/2019 22:54

A good friend of mine went on a few dates with Lewis Hamilton in 2007. He turned up in a smart carGrin

KOKOtiltomorrow · 09/07/2019 23:04

“I don’t feel he lied - as nothing was mentioned about it, or cars or anything at any time - but it was clearly done deliberately.”

But he did lie OP - he said he was booking a taxi. V strange behaviour .

HollowTalk · 09/07/2019 23:10

That is really odd and I wouldn't be able to rest until I'd found out what was going on!

JellyTots2009 · 09/07/2019 23:36

It's not nice that your friend immediately said he was married. Is she always this sceptical ?
It made you think he was so you watched him?

PawPawNoodle · 09/07/2019 23:45

I dont see why he'd bring the fancy car if he didnt intend for you to see it - after all, he could have just driven his banger (or any other vehicle he likely has) and you would have been none the wiser.

I imagine he was put off by you having your friend turn up to gawp at him and didnt much fancy giving you both something to talk about!