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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

my. boyfriend logged on to a dating site

35 replies

orangesun35 · 07/07/2019 23:18

hi new too all of this ...just need a bit of advice .me and my boyfriend we live together for a short time when i found out he had actually logged on to a dating site ..he will not admit to this at all ...which gets me really mad he's not been honest.a bit of back ground he constantly makes remarks about other women too.but only on the tv ... not so much sexual remarks .remarks like she has the best legs I've ever seen .remarks like that.i find disrespestful I have been in tears a few times .any advice please .not sure if he was actually to talking to anyone on the site.... a bit more back ground information .we actually met on this site .I deleted my profile. he never did not think to much about it .never thought it was a issue .or thuoght he would actually log on.

OP posts:
Lefty1 · 08/07/2019 00:03

Dump him he sounds like a prick , you can do better ! Flowers

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 00:10

thanks for your. reply. do you have any. more. advice thanks?

OP posts:
Lefty1 · 08/07/2019 00:29

You need to get angry , how dare he treat you like this is what you need to start thinking. You live with each other and presumably you would have had the exclusive convo so he is actively trying to cheat on you AND also deny / lie to you? Who the he’ll does he think he is! How long have you been together ?
Also commenting on other women is a way of making you feel inferior . This guy sounds like a narcissist or at the least deeply unpleasant . Dump, grieve and start a fresh with someone better than this low life x

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 00:42

hi lefy1 thanks for your reply.we live together in my house he won't admit he's wrong. we were together around 10 months living together when l noticed he had logged on.also its my home he was paying towards the bills .he asked me to put his name on my mortgage .the house is solely in my name. I was shocked when he asked me that .when I had it. out with him he said he was just kidding.what do you think?

OP posts:
Lefty1 · 08/07/2019 00:49

No he wants to see how far he can push it and was checking your response . Do not put him on your mortgage whatever you do.
I wouldn’t wait for him to admit anything , tell him it’s not working and that he needs to leave .
Do you have any male friends or brothers that can help him with this ? Just incase he starts acting up x

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 01:08

thank you.he never thinks he is wrong. in anything .we only dated a short time and was pushing to live together which I was not ready for ...he got mad one night and told me if we don't live together soon l'am off that was his words..... he has had a few relationships in the passed and he always blames his exes. ... one he has a child with. that he not allowed contact with he blames her ...she ruined his life. what do you think ?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 08/07/2019 02:08

i wouldn't even trust this guy to feed my cats, let alone live with me !
He doesn't sound too bright.

heartyrebel · 08/07/2019 09:24

He sounds very manipulative. Stay strong and do not allow him to convince or threaten you to do something you dont want to.
Do not put his name on your house, support him financially or anything else he is probably gearing up for you to do. I'd be ditching him immediately

NotStayingIn · 08/07/2019 09:29

So many red flags here. Honestly OP be careful. He sounds like a bully, selfish and a taker. Be so very very careful. I would get rid and sooner rather then later. It was a mistake to let him bully you into letting him live with you, and you know that the mortgage comment wasn’t a joke. He is after what is yours, whilst still having fun behind your back.

SummerSix · 08/07/2019 10:51

It wont change. Leave before it gets wirse x

SeeeeMoreStars · 08/07/2019 12:11

Get this prick out of your house. Even if police are involved. Dump him and raise your standards with regards to men. You sound like I was 20 years ago.

Shoxfordian · 08/07/2019 12:18

Chuck him out of your house

GarakIsMySweetheart · 08/07/2019 12:19

If he's making you cry then dump him. You don't need any more advice than that.

A relationship isn't supposed to make you cry! ❤

ShatnersWig · 08/07/2019 12:37

Lefty: Dump him.
OP: Do you have any more advice?
Lefty: Still dump him.
OP: He's like this, what do you think?
Lefty: Repeat, do not put him on the mortgage and dump him.
OP: He's like this, what do you think?
Everyone: DUMP HIM!

You don't need to ask any more, or tell us any more about him, OP. He's a total wrong one, everyone recognises this. Dump him, immediately, and do not allow him back into your life. Then, take some time to be on your own and work out why you would allow someone like this into your life to begin with.

lolaflores · 08/07/2019 12:44

What do u think OP?

newmomof1 · 08/07/2019 12:50

OP I can see that you want us to tell you it'll be ok, but it won't. You need to end it.

Don't let him bully you. Do NOT put his name on the mortgage.
He's only logging in to dating sites for one thing. Leave him before he traps you and it's too late.

user1497997754 · 08/07/2019 12:53

Get rid he is a waste of space

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 13:46

Thanks for all your answers .his own mother told me when l
Met her. She asked how we were getting on .. then told me they all dump him
You know . That was her answer then he’s come crying to her . Saying l’am not a bad lad why does this happen . I will . And update you all later . Many thanks x

OP posts:
Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 21:59

update .had it out with him tonight .I told him everything .he didn't even want to listen said he's sick of women never being satisfied what he does for them never enough ....asked me does. he want him to go to his mums ?I said yes ...hes gone now but he doesn't understand why i'am having a go.thinks he's fucking prefect nobody works as hard as him .his own mother told me that too.feel like shit now help ....

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 08/07/2019 22:12

i wouldn't even trust this guy to feed my cats, let alone live with me

This with bells on!

This with bells on, cocklodger if I ever saw one, and oh as for the dating site he's lining up the next prospect with a mortgage he can weasel his way on to.

Also op there's no point "trying to make him understand" before you start thinking of going there again!

Closetbeanmuncher · 08/07/2019 22:13

*this is a cocklodger if I ever saw one

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 22:35

hes pissed off cos I've. always had a sat night with. my best mate done it for years we might go to Liverpool shopping or somewhere else a bit of tea or something .he knew this before we met .he seemed ok with it .we lived together had every other night together apart from sat day and evening .he wasn't happy about this .wanted me all to his self ,that's why I think he went on the internet dating site.cheeky fucker.did say one night where not a couple any more wanted all of me

OP posts:
Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 22:37

sorry knew it when we were dating before we moved in .he was ok with it.but looking back he worked sat himself .but as soon as work finished he wanted me on sat .think he was pissed at me

OP posts:
Luckingfovely · 08/07/2019 22:49

Every word you write about him gets worse.

Has he taken all of his stuff? Or do you need to pack it all up and drop it at his mum's?

You have had a very lucky escape. Do NOT let him back in your house. And change the locks ASAP!

Original poster
orangesun35 · 08/07/2019 22:56

thanks ,he has taken a lot of his stuff .said he will be back in the morning for the rest .but hes not getting back in my house .I asked him for the keys .so he can't get back in .twat

OP posts:
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