It’s game over - no man, no family

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Keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I’m mid 30s and still single and I think it is game over. I’ve always been optimistic and rational but I think I need to come to terms with that it’s not looking likely that I will meet someone to fall in love with and start a family. And it hurts so deep. And I know I shouldn’t - and I haven’t until now - start to feel a little awkward as the single woman with no family.

I’ve had a few relationships, some with men who I didn’t feel a spark but thought it would develop - it never did. So I’ve been holding out for that special someone. But now it looks like I may have to compromise or settle - which i don’t think I will be able to do tbh.

I’m told I’m very attractive, smart and kind. I have a lovely circle of friends and family. Lots of interest from men in real life but mostly older married men or men I’m not interested in. Hardly any interest on online dating since approaching mid 30s. Same for my female friends. I’ve asked male friends for advice and all said my profile looks great so it’s not that I don’t think.

I don’t meet many men through work so I joined a few meet up groups and men often look at me and talk to me, they’re obv interested, but I don’t meet any that I think show potential.

Everyone seems to be married with children, except a few friends.

I don’t know what else I should be doing. I’m at a loss. And it hurts and seems so unfair.

Looking for emotional support and advice.

Thank you.

I think if u keep putting urself out there things will happen .... I've heard worse.... mid 30s still at home... no boyfriends (ever ever) no career no true friends never socialises AND still thinks they are a great catch and it will all work out

I have a friend in the U.K. who is on the spectrum. She took up dancing. She didn’t do it to meet a man, just to learn different dances, but ended up meeting her partner.

I suggest getting “out there”. Develop some hi hobbies that are interesting to men as well.

If it's babies that's your main concern, you can always do it via a sperm donor

No one will seem that attractive if you’re still not quite over the last person....

I think that’s your issue!

No mystery. You said you're not over the guy you were last with. Doesn't matter if the therapist said you're good to go, you are not over him.

Also, your title is quite telling, 'game over'. So there is nothing else in life except men and kids (I get the kids bit, that is hard) but really?

It's definitely not game over. People meet and marry at all ages.
I'm wondering about your use of the word 'spark'. Sometimes the best relationships are slow burners. I know it's od fashioned but if you really 'like' someone then your relationship will develop. It doesn't have to be all butterflies and rainbows.
Good luck.
Ps I met my dh when a friend set us up. Neither of us was after a relationship at the time, but it worked. And no, not love at first sight, but easy company.

I know of many attractive women in their 30s (now 40s and 50s who didn't find the one until it just happened. They never had long term relationships either. Just a lot of people they were not interested in.
One I know got married just after mid 30s. Literally had so many people interested in her but her heart never was in any of them. The guy she married was younger than her. She doesn't look older than him at all. I've just seen this trend of women in their 39s looking very youthful and attractive. You probably wouldn't even put them together at first. They were quite different but their values in life were the same so they made it work by adjusting to each other before they married. Now several kids later...
And now that I think about it, most of these 30s women married someone 2-10 years younger than them. I see a trend of men not being into going out to clubs etc at night and being more home-bodies. I guess the women they married who are older than them had already been done and dusted with that stage or never been into it themselves so that's how I guess their attraction met.
I'm not saying go look for someone younger lol but it's funny now that I see this trend.

I have so many friends in your exact position - I think the pool of available, decent guys is just very small once you hit your mid 30s. Have you thought about a dating agency? I know it might seem retro but there are some good ones out there and it would be a totally different pool of people to those online.

Don't lower your standards, don't think it's too late and don't bother with OLD. Every single one I met on there was either a dick, liar or something else not worth the hassle.

I was single for years after divorcing H number 1. It wasn't until I'd genuinely stopped caring whether or not I was single or attached, and got myself a fabulous gay husband lodger to keep me company and have fun with... Then of course the super hot, formerly married guy from work gets divorced and asked me out.

We've been together 6 years now, blissfully happy and have a beautiful DD and married 2 years. I was 36 when we met.

Chill out. Be happy being just you. You never know what's round the corner.

@wheresmymojo A dating coach?? What type of stuff do they tell you? About confidence and how to carry yourself or what?? Very intrigued!