Girlfriend dancing with someone else whilst I'm stood there ...unacceptable?

[trytrytry]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 months.
Only problem is when she is drunk she checks out other women.
Saturday night we were out together on the dance floor.
A girl in a skirt was dancing next to us and my girlfriend starts trying to dance with her.
Then she starts talking to other women at the bar.
It makes me so annoyed.
I'm thinking In my head "hello I'm here you know"
I could be dressed up looking nice and she still does it.
I honestly feel not got enough.
Would you be hurt too?

If you like someone you don't want to make them feel like rubbish.

Corollary: If someone makes you feel rubbish, you need to like yourself enough to walk away.

@AnyFucker I hope not

@Onemansoapopera it just seems like people are never happy with what they have these days

I really think you need to grow up, how old are you 12?

If this is an issue so early on, it’s going to be an always throughout. As you seem quite bothered by it, it seems like a deal breaker for you? You can’t change her or what she deems acceptable/as harmless fun, so maybe you two just aren’t suited. Life is too short to settle and tolerate things that bother you.

It's 3 months. If she is checking out other people in front of you now when you are meant to be all over each in the first flush of a new relationship it isn't going to get any better when you are comfortable with each other.

End it and find someone after the same sort of relationship as you are.

The way you describe the dancing, that she is checking people out and flirting in front of you, no I wouldn't like it either. It's not even the jealousy aspect so much as making me look like a bit of a dick!

Perhaps talk to her about it, not when it's happening, but later. Keep it short and sweet, don't drone on about it. If she still continues it might be better to move on. It's not going to be fun going on nights out and worrying about her checking out anything in a skirt.

It’s been 12 weeks! It’s ‘Thank you, next’ time.

You need to work on your self-esteem because if you keep this up your relationship is doomed!

My husband recently got two (one after the other) fully nude, private lap-dances and I didn’t bat an eye! I always think it’s about their intentions. If the intention is harmless fun and no more then I don’t think it’s worth getting upset over.

Classic post, meowington. I might keep that one for laughs when I feel sad.

Meowington just because you're ok with your dh getting ground on by naked sex workers doesn't mean that op has low self esteem 🤔

Deary me, Meow. What a pathetic Handmaiden you sound.

It was my idea ! It was strictly no touch so certainly didn’t have anyone grinding on him. Not that I’d mind if they did! We’re very... liberal!

We’re super secure in our relationship and it baffles me people experience so much jealousy in theirs!

We're very....liberal

Grim

You say grim, I say yum!

So yeh, you being super secure has literally no bearing on ops self esteem levels.... And I think you probs shouldn't give relationship advice because few would envy or covert your super security if that's how it manifests itself, I reckon (whatever works for you though!! 👍)

Me aside. Getting jealous of your partner dancing with someone else doesn’t bode well three months in.

Yum when your husband likes having naked lap dances from exploited women? Bit rose west isnt it?

I wouldn't be comfortable having my partner having naked lap dancers.
That's a bit grim
I'm not normally the jealous type but If im stood there on my own whilst she's smirking and trying to dance with someone else...it really does hurt

So dump her. Why stay with someone who makes you unhappy?

No i'm with you, thinking about it from my point of view if i was dating a man and he was checking out other woman/ dancing with other woman then i would LTB because i cant trust that.

If he is with me in the club then he dances with me not with other woman.

Does she know it upsets you?

I'd be pissed off if my husband flirted with other women when out with me, especially if I was left on my own whilst he did so. And if he'd done that 12 weeks into the relationship I'd have said stop it or fuck off and I'd have meant it.

She doesn't make me unhappy.
I really like her,we get on so well,have fun etc
It's just this I don't like.

She sounds rather disrespectful to be obviously checking out other women in front of you

It's not acceptable behaviour to flirt with other people in front of your partner, full stop. Have you told her that it makes you uncomfortable.