I divorced my ex because I often used to walk on eggshells around him, he used to give me the silent treatment for weeks on end during which time I would be in emotional agony, and I couldn’t stand the lack of joint decision making over very big things.
I knew getting divorced would be difficult, and it was horrible. We were in the same house for months and months not talking, during which time he immediately got together with someone else, and I had to endure listening to his very late night and very long phone calls. I don’t know if they are still together.
He moved out 14 months ago now, but my problem is that I cannot get over the grief. We were together for 22 years, and have 3 dc. While there was a lot I found difficult about him, there was also a lot that I liked. He had lost all interest in me however, or so it seemed, and though I tried to keep it together for years, in the end I couldn’t any more.
The silent treatment continues in that I send ex logistical messages about the kids, which he rarely acknowledges or answers.
Due to his living arrangements, he is in the (my) house every afternoon with the dc after they come home from school, but our paths don’t cross.
There is a load of his stuff in the house I have been asking him about, what does he want to keep, get rid of etc, he ignores those messages too. He then told dd that I shouldn’t “throw his stuff away”.
It’s depressing that we cannot speak to each other, but he recently weirdly suggested that I go on holiday with him and the dc so to say that I am confused is putting it mildly. I asked him if we could meet up to talk about it, he ignored those messages, so now I am not going on holiday with them because of course how can I 
?
Worse than all this is that I really loved him. I cannot get together with anyone else because they would not be him. It has always been him that I wanted, but aspects of the way he was were too hard in the end.
Sometimes the grief is overwhelming, and I honestly think this thing is going to destroy me and I will always be broken.
It’s the feeling of being hated which is hard to bear.
