Out of interest.. how do you manage your money together?

[Pomgirl]

Just starting a topic out of interest really as I know people manage their money in a relationship so differently and I find it intriguing
Me and partner live together. We have an every day spending account , both salaries go into it, card each. All bills out of here too. Then we have a savings. We earn the same hourly rate but he works alot more overtime (10-15 hours some weeks at time and half or even double if saturdays)

This really works for us an we trust each other , I spend more on clothes, he buys cigarettes so we both have our ‘treats’ haha

Others have commented they think we are mad and can’t buy ‘presents’ for each other but I don’t see this... to me a present is the thought/effort not the money. And we can squirral cash away for anything big lol!

What does everyone else do and how do you find it works

Once we lived together, we paid equal proportions of our salaries into an account for all bills, and kept everything else. He earns about twice as much as me, so he would pay for "dates" etc.

Once we were married, we kept the bills account, made a joint spending account, and then kept the same amount back each for individual spending - so he paid more in than me overall.

Now im a SAHM and we have the same set up, though obviously he's the only one paying for everything! His salary has pretty much tripled since we first met, and is about 5 times more than any jobs that I will go back to, so we'll keep the same set up as we've had since marriage. There will just be more money overall once I go back to work.

There would be no way that I could see fair, of me on £35,000 trying to keep up with him on £150,000. And as we now have a child, thankfully I don't think either of us could be bothered to track "ours" or "family's" money.

@coconuttelegraph I am not deciding what to do? I put in OP what we do I am just asking others and discussing out of interest

@sar302 yes I don’t think I could keep track and who would pay what etc, I like sharing and especially when I do go on mat leave etc!

Recently married. I have debt and no assets. He owns property and has a child. He earns slightly more than me and we’ve always had separate finances.

We have separate accounts.
We earn virtually equal amounts. So the mortgage and bills come out of dh account and I transfer half in one the first of the month. Then I but the grocery shop and pay childminder and dh gives me half.

We have to use cash a lot but it works for us. I would hate sharing and account.

Buy not but sorry for typo

@Pomgirl
Can I ask anyone who does have separate money and pay the same for bills etc.. if you earn less are you resentful a little??

I will be in this position shortly, and I would rather know in myself i have paid 50-50 for things as much as is feasible (mortgage, bills, council tax etc) whilst maintaining my own car and mobile...

DP is fully aware that he will have more free money every month by doing this, and I believe him when he says he won't see me go short or not be able to go out and do things. Naive or not, thats where I stand at the moment, and I have my own savings squirrelled away so I can hopefully continue my half of at least the mortgage when on Mat leave.. no resentment at all 👍🏻

Finance wise everything is separate at the moment, but when we move we will have a joint acct which house bills and mortgage comes out of, and i will maintain my own one to get paid into, keep my personal saving accts, and transfer whats needed into the joint one.
We have spoken about having a joint saver or two as well to cover holidays and what not..
He earns about double what I do although it does change on overtime we do

Joint account for bills. He pays nearly double in. I earn a little less than him but pay a small nursery bill and dinner money, but I get the child benefit. If the joint account needs more either of us will put a bit extra in. We're lucky that there's enough in the overall pot that we don't have to be too precious about it, but I very much think that us both having our own spending account is the right way for us.

Oh, and savings accounts are separate too, he saves quite a bit more than me each month but tends to pay for the bigger expenses like holidays.

Joint account for mortgage, electricity etc etc. Direct debit for kids education funds.

Any savings usually get put into the pension fund or some sort of household job I. E. New roof, windows etc.

Food, kids stuff etc we just try and balance

He earns it. I spend it. Works well.

We have a joint account where I put about 70% of my wages (the same amount used to be about 90% but my new job pays more). My DH is a stay at home dad so not earning so he uses the joint account for everything. I use my account for lunch, coffees and clothes and then the rest goes buying our one holiday a year.

It will be really interesting when he starts working again - not sure what will do then. Neither of us are big spenders and we have 2 kids so not much of a chance to go out.

I've contributed earlier,but cut to the end.

If you're married, if you divorce, they can make a claim on 'your stuff'; you can make a claim on their's. Even pensions. So there's nothing to be gained.

Prenups don't necessarily protect you.

I can't believe how many people go 'if this needs 'balancing, I/he put ms a bit more in' etc.

Till s/he doesn't as you've fallen out.

You're in it, for better or for worse, richer or poorer.

So why the he puts this bit in, I put that bit in

We have separate accounts our pay goes in those. Mortgage comes out of his account automatically when he gets paid. He also pays 1200 to the cc where the bills come out of and sends 500 to my account. His salary is significantly higher than mine.

My pay and what he gives me goes to food, health insurance, school fees and car rego when it pops up.

Works for us and we have done it this way for 21 years. I don't see the need for a joint account.

Separate accounts and separate savings here 🙈 married 7 years (together 13 years) and it works for us. We have a joint account for when we had a mortgage but it’s pretty much just a minor savings account now. But even though it’s separate we know what is there and can look at statements etc whenever. We have a “general overview” meeting as such every once in a while. Works for us.

I’ve finally decided to commit to my DP and we are moving in next week (eeek!). DP is loaded (parents are old money) and tries to pay for everything, which is so generous of him but makes me really uncomfortable.

I’ve insisted on a joint account for bills and then we have our own accounts where our salaries are paid into.

Money has been a contention in our relationship because I want to be independent and he insists on paying for everything. I may start a thread on this actually.

Dunno, seems to be working for us over the past nearly eight years? When we fall out we don't withold money from each other, that would be really dysfunctional.

If we ever divorced I can't see either of us fucking the other one over either. Sounds unromantic but it was part of what made me want to marry him in the first place.

Sazzle/Pom:

I don't believe that paying 50/50 for things out of vastly differing incomes is fair or sustainable when you're married adults running a household, ESPECIALLY so (I want to emphasise that about 100 times and I can't think of a word strong enough, so have the bolding :o) when one person's salary has dropped directly BECAUSE you are raising children together. If your income has dropped, temporarily because of maternity leave, because you're working fewer hours around childcare, or because you're a SAHM, or even simply that you're missing out on promotions or going for higher paid positions because you don't want to put in the commitment since DC, can't do late hours/overnight trips/whatever, even if you want to or hate work - that MUST be recognised within the marriage as being a financial sacrifice which is made for the sake of the family, and calculated, if you like, as another household bill to be split out of the pre-children salary. Or just adjusted for.

It's not free, that stuff that you're doing - the breastfeeding, the mothering, the gestating, the caring. It's NOT free if it has an impact on your career and your household finances absolutely must reflect this. How can you feel equal, long term, without that?

We’ve got separate current and saving accounts and credit cards as well as a joint current and saving. We both transfer X amount over to the joint per month ( we also earn about the same except he gets a bonus every so often) to cover mortgage, bills and have a bit of a buffer for a meal or two, the rest moves at the end of the month into the joint savings. Only things we independently pay for which benefit us both are food shop (me, I shop around) and sky (him, he didn’t bother to negotiate!)

We have been together for more than 20 years, almost right from the start we had joint accounts. Joint current account and joint credit card and savings accounts.
I gave up a very good job 3 years before we had our son, since then I do everything around the house, my DH does nothing, except make cups of tea.
He has a very good job and works long hours, for the first few years we were together he had to cook when he got home (he was home first) and help out around the house. It was his idea for me to give up work, he likes that when he comes home he doesn't have to do anything.
It works really well for us, he never makes me feel bad because I don't contribute any money. He knows his life would not be so easy if I worked.
Most of our savings are in my name only, he would loose 40% of the interest. I don't get the need for married couples to be independent from each other, we have always had the "what's mine is yours" attitude.