Out of interest.. how do you manage your money together?

[Pomgirl]

Just starting a topic out of interest really as I know people manage their money in a relationship so differently and I find it intriguing
Me and partner live together. We have an every day spending account , both salaries go into it, card each. All bills out of here too. Then we have a savings. We earn the same hourly rate but he works alot more overtime (10-15 hours some weeks at time and half or even double if saturdays)

This really works for us an we trust each other , I spend more on clothes, he buys cigarettes so we both have our ‘treats’ haha

Others have commented they think we are mad and can’t buy ‘presents’ for each other but I don’t see this... to me a present is the thought/effort not the money. And we can squirral cash away for anything big lol!

What does everyone else do and how do you find it works

My husband earns 3x more than me. So we spilt it on a percentage. We havr out own bank accounts and a joint bills account. He pays more towards the bills etc. I would ever not have my own money and cant beleive people still merage all their money maddness

If you earn different amounts, you shouldn’t be paying the same towards bills. It should be proportionate to your individual earnings. If you can’t do that, then your joint expenses are too much. It isn’t fair for one person to pay 90% of their income and have little left over while the other only pays 40% and has a comfortable buffer.

DH is a high earner and I earn nothing.

His salary goes into our joint account and then we have direct debits out of that to our prrsonal current accounts for "pocket money" - although as the years have gone by we increasingly just use the joint account for everything.

Any savings accounts or investments are in my name alone because I'm not a taxpayer.

We are married. We have no joint accounts and separate money. He works and earns more than me but any benefits come into my account. We transfer between accounts as and when needed.

When I was married "we" didn't manage the money as when we both did he'd spend all of it and we'd have no money with two weeks to go before pay day, massive overdrafts, maxed out credit cards and bills not paid. I'd find bills and final demands stuffed in his pants drawer (I was putting laundry in there not snooping).
It was terrifying.
I had to separate all our finances, I paid all of the mortgage and bills from my salary and he continued to squander his salary and get more credit cards.
We had endless rows about it because I was really concerned his bad credit would affect me as his spouse.
It was a massive relief when he divorced me and went off. I had to give him a settlement with which he paid off all his debts and now three years later he is in huge debt again.
But it isn't my problem now. I won't get married again. I'm too near retirement to risk someone like that in my life again.

We both pay the same amount (approx 40% of wages) into a joint account to cover all bills and some treats like a takeaway. We then also each save around 25% into separate savings accounts and spend the rest on what we want/individual cars/phones. It works well for us!

DH and I did a 'preparation for marriage' course.

We were told that a similar approach to money and spending was a very important indicator of a successful partnership.

DH and I do, in fact, feel pretty much the same about cash; neither of us is a big spender, we both like to save. We don't do debt. I work PT, DH full time; he earns £65k pa, I earn £27-30k pa. Because I'm PT I tend to do rather more housework etc (and running around with the DC when they were younger).

Every last brass razoo is in shared accounts, except like with ISAs and the odd share account they legally can't be shared.

Works for us over the past 21 years!

23yrs married. DH salary goes into current account and I put spending money into both our Monzo accounts then savings to other accounts, the residual money pays direct debits. My wage goes into my own account and sits as savings and additional spending money e.g. for the dc and holidays etc.

Money goes into a joint account and all bills and food come out of that. Then we transfer ourselves £100 each at the start of the week which is for personal use, including petrol and our individual phones bills.

Live together with one baby, I am on mat leave and DP earns a good salary.

We've been married 35 years and he was always the much higher earner. Now I am the much higher earner and he earns nothing I treat him like he treated me all those years.

He has to ask for every penny. But we get on well despite this.

Joint account where all money goes into, bills go out and we put so much into savings and then rest we use as we want. Ask each other if spending over £60 but otherwise spend as we wish. Married for 2 years, together for five

We have been together for 19 years. No children. We both have our own bank accounts our wages are paid into.

He inherited the house so we don't have rent or a morgage to pay. I generally pay the phone bill and electric bill. If its a big bill he will help out. Sometimes he might see a bill and just pay it before I do. Without any fuss or expectation that I pay him back. I pay the house insurance and most of the groceries. But he may whip out his card at the checkout, especially if he's put alot of treats or dvds for himself in the trolley.

He pays the council tax, netflix/amazon and tv rentals and purchases. (He cancelled the tv licence) He pays car insurance, tax, running and maintence costs. Again I will help out if he gets a big bill.

After bills our money is ours to spend as we like. I honestly don't know how much he as. He doesn't know how much I have. He would never dare dictate what I do with money I earnt. I wouldn't ever do it to him.

We have a joint savings account for emergencies. Apart from a large initial lump sum he put in. Its really only me that pays in. Its under my control and I am not sure he even knows how to access the account or how much is in there.

Growing up we were in and out of womens shelters. I never want to be in a position that I am left financially vulnerable. Or that I feel trapped in a relationship. So I have my own savings account.

All our money is our money though we have separate accounts. We just transfer money from one to the other if it's needed. The only exception is if one of us gets money as a gift from parents at birthdays or something, and even then if it's a large amount it's likely to be spent on something for the family.

We each have a small amount of spending money after everything is paid for and any savings put away (we don't have huge savings but I save for our put money away for clothes, holidays/Christmas/birthdays and annual bills like car insurance).

We have a joint account where everything goes in and everything comes out. We each have our own credit card, usually used when buying presents for each other.

We discuss big purchases but not stuff like clothes buying, little things for the house and suchlike.

I suppose having the same attitude to money and spending it helps.

It's never been a problem for us and we wouldn't have it any other way.

@madcatladyforever wow! He sounds bad! I suppose you put so much trust in someone when your tied financially

@Miljah oh that sounds like a good course. Were there any other top tips?
I feel sharing our money makes us an equal team and we don’t have to consider who bought what.
We have similar outlooks to, we like nice things clothes etc, out drinking , meals, nice food through the week but we have no debt and a good chunk of savings (we spent half emigrating though! )

All our money goes into one account which we both have cards running off, which use to pay bills, buy stuff etc, and which mortgage comes out of. That’s it. No complex system.

We’ve been married for13 years and managed like this from day 1. FWIW I earn more than twice what he does.

Spectate accounts. Pay half each towards bills and food. Save into joint account for holidays and separate for own pensions etc.

We're married and have totally separate accounts.

Bills and mortgage are paid 50/50 (we earn pretty much the same), we pay into savings and then anything leftover is for us to spend as we wish.

Joint account for mortgage, bills, car costs and big food shop. We pay in an amount in proportion to what we earn to cover it. I earn slightly more than him so pay in more.

Everything else kept in separate accounts, including savings.

I would never agree to just having a joint account. I want to retain my financial independence.

It means he gets to spend his money on his hobbies, motorbikes, I spend my money on my interests including travel. Neither has a say on what the other spends, so long as all the bills and essentials are covered.

We roughly take it in turns for things like paying for cinema, meals out, top up shops. I’ll generally cover any out of the ordinary costs, like a wedding present as I earn more so have more spare

Works for us, we have never argued about money and have been together 20 years. Helps we don’t have kids, and both earn enough to cover the bills easily.

We have been married 30 , together 36 years . Everything is joint dh earns 10x what I do but it all just goes into one pot. We do have separate credit cards and pensions but it basically all comes out of the same fund.

Almost all the women I know who have separate finances end up spending their money on childcare, food, children’s activities etc whilst their husbands/partners spend money on hobbies, cars etc

We have joint accounts, joint credit cards etc but I also have my own credit card/ debit card. I said to my husband I don't want him seeing how much I spend on clothes/makeup and he's fine with that so that's what that's there for. He earns alooot more than me so I'm perfectly happy with this situation 🤣

We've been meaning to open a joint account for 11 years. Haven't got round to it yet 😁

Before we were married, we both earned almost the same (his pay fluctuated slightly so sometimes he earned more than me and sometimes less). I paid for everything on a credit card because we were saving air miles and I also paid all the bills and kept all the savings (purely because my savings account at the time was better than his). He paid the rent for our flat and mortgage on his house. He kept back a bit of "walking around" money and paid the rest into my savings account. I would never have done this if the situations were reversed and told him a million times we needed joint accounts but we just never did it.

Now we are married. I am a SAHM so no earnings. I still have my credit card so whatever I spend goes on there and DH pays it off. He pays all the bills. Savings still go in an account in my name because we haven't bothered changing it.

We just basically share everything and don't have "my money" and "his money". It all gets used the same. Every penny he earns belongs to both of us, same for the money in our savings.

Joint account for bills. We both pay equal amount in every month. Then separate accounts for personal spending and savings. He earns a bit more than me but I have a lot more savings. We're both very generous with each other.

I wish this site had a more flexible search facility. This topic comes up every week and it would really help you if the 45632 previous threads could be linked in some kind of grouped way, it would cover literally everything that could be said on the subject and might help you decide what to do.