My son wants to be a police officer

[Cheesecake8]

My son is 14 and he has decided he would like to be a police officer when he is old enough. I feel this is a good respectful job and he will help people.
My sons dad has a different view from myself and has told my son it's a shit job, no body will trust him as no one trusts the police, he wont have any friends, he wont has time to socialise not that it matters as he will have no friends and that he would be a pig and then oinking at my son.
Is this true, is being a police officer such a bad choice in career ?

It has its downsides but he'll make friends within the force etc and he'll be doing a valuable job in society. Your ex is a nob. If it's what your ds wants, then encourage him.

My DDad was a police officer, my DP is one now.

Some people won't trust the police, that's unfortunately true. Many of those are people who have been in trouble with the police of course, some are people who have had bad experiences with the police through no fault of their own.

But judging the stories my DDad told, and those that DP tells, most people are grateful for their help and seem to actually like them.

Of course he'll have friends, not everyone is narrow-minded and distrustful (like your son's dad). The hours can be a killer though.

There are a lot of opportunities within the police as well, it's not all bobby on the beat stuff (not that there's anything wrong with that of course!) and the pay isn't amazing. It's not awful though.

It's a job with good pension, clear pay and career progression and can I imagine be very fulfilling.

My experience of police officers is that they can be very domineering (training) and very clannish. Inevitably I guess. It's a job where teamwork is everything.

It takes a toll on family life for sure.

Your ex is a dick through. I hope he is an ex anyway. If he wants it he should go for it.

My BIL was a special for 5 years and is now training to be one permanently. And he had a great job he enjoyed before leaving.

He has had no such issues as your h described. He is a lovely, confident personable young man and he will be an asset. Personally I think the police force has made a (don’t want to say ‘man out of him’ but you get the idea) can’t quite think of the right phrase. It has given him focus, confidence I am jealous of and conviction. He was a little lost after leaving college.

Funnily enough, he said that there is only one young person on his training course. Most are mid 20s to early 30s. So I doubt all those ‘mature’ adults feel the same as you h either. Especially as they are going through a career change.

Absolutely isnt a bad job, but can be hard to get into. BiL recently failed the first rounds of interviews etc, so if you son wants to go for it then let he know what to expect. There's physicals to pass (a bleep test) but having a good knowledge and genuine passion can really help as well. There's also other routes, rather than being an officer.

It may be worth taking him to speak to some officers to get an idea. I've never known an officer turn the opportunity down when I've seen them or spoken to them, unless of course they're busy.

My sis is a cop. She has friends both from work and outside work. The job has its downsides- pay isn’t great (pension is ok), shifts can be tough (but my sister manages ok and works roughly 5days on, 5 days off), there are dangers and scary bits but it is a good job and she gets a lot of job satisfaction.

Not having “friends” with tattoos on their knuckles is not a bad thing.

Is you ex always a complete knob?
Tell your son you'd be dead proud of him joining the force and he will be a credit to you

Obviously we are assuming he is your ex ?

We are still together, he just frustrates me but that's for another post Haha.
I have been telling ds that I'm proud of his choice. We are in the process of trying to find him work experience with in our local station and he has also applied to join the police cadets.
I keep telling dp that we should be supporting our son in his choices not putting them down. But he tells me I dont know anything as I dont have any life experience and wouldn't know what people think about the police.
Thank you to everyone for all the honest responses, it's nice to hear from other people as I started to doubt I was doing the right thing in encouraging ds.

I don't think it matters what anyone thinks of the job itself. Your sons father just shot him down for having ambition. What a cunt. Is he always like that?

Dad needs to be quiet, it's a sound job, quite varied and could have intensely threatening moments or boring moments waiting. Obviously intense interaction with public if he's frontline. All sorts of agencies, court, SS etc.

He's quite likely to form a relationship within the force based on stats and also have moments where he might need support at processing something gruesome

You don't have any life experience?
Did you sleep through your x amount of years on Earth?
Were you born yesterday?

He doesn't sound too bright.
I would have laughed in his face. Rolling my eyes for good measure.

I wanted to be a police officer- not a beat bobby, but mounted. I was put off by my mum with similar arguments to your ex, no career, pay’s rubbish, you could go to uni and do so much better...

FFwd 30 years and I have a secretarial job where we work with the police a lot. The force now is huge- you can specialise in anything from firearms to countryside to terrorism, dogs, safeguarding, CID, forensics.

If you want the money and career there is a ladder to climb promotion wise.

Pay is above average, especially when you factor in overtime. Job is varied, and people move sideways between depts a lot to get a feel for where they’d like to specialise.

Those my age are now retiring at 50 with a hefty pension. Yes the pensions aren’t as great now, and you have to work a little longer, but still not bad.

If he doesn’t like it ex-bobbies are in demand elsewhere too.

It is definitely a calling, and it has it’s issues, but if he wants to do it I wouldn't discourage.

Especially now as they’ll fund you through a degree first.

I have an uncle who is a DCI and a step brother just going through sergeant exams.
The only people who treat the police in the way your DH states, are those who do stuff to incur their presence.

My sons dad has a different view from myself and has told my son it's a shit job, no body will trust him as no one trusts the police, he wont have any friends, he wont has time to socialise not that it matters as he will have no friends and that he would be a pig and then oinking at my son.

He is BU. Your son's Dad is just projecting his own feelings here.

I applied to join the police around the same time I applied to uni to study nursing, completed most of the recruitment process and then dropped out because I got my nursing place, which I wanted more.

My parents were seemingly supportive at the time but my Dad admitted to me how relieved he was when I abandoned my application because he was terrified for my safety. Could this be a part of your partner’s rationale for not wanting your DS to join?

He might not want to say so to a 14yo boy and is going down the ‘you won’t be liked or have a social life’ route because he might think your DS would value those objections more than his Dad’s fears for his safety IYSWIM.

Well surely if they don't trust the police they're not the sort of people you'd want to be friends with anyway? Of course there are unsociable hours, but that's the nature of the job! A lot of jobs are like this though. It's a great career and something to be proud of. Your DH is being a dick!

Sorry your ex not your DH I should learn to read

It’s a hard job. Higher divorce rates. More vulnerable to depression etc but also decent wage and good pension

Usually the people that ‘don’t trust police’ are the type you probably don’t want your kids associating with anyway.

Your partner sounds like a total dickhead. His attitude is more typical of people who have had run ins with the Police.

It's a good secure job, good career prospects if he wants to go up the ladder & loads of specialist roles. If friends stop speaking to him because hes in the police then it sounds like they're people hes well shot of. On looking at the pages of my police friends on Facebook they certainly do plenty socialising and seem to have plenty friends from their pre police life.

The referencing to.pigs and oinking is bloody childish and offensive

@Gooseygoosey12345

You were right the first time.

@needsomesleepy I think I need your username, I really should learn to read as well!!

I joined the met at 18 and a half, I lost pretty much all my friends. I loved every second of it, amazing job, varied. I have 2 children now so I work in a school as it’s more flexible. I made lovely friends in the police and still friends with them now.

The bigger issue is that your 'partner' thinks he knows better that you or your some and he's entitled to belittle and mock you both.

Regardless of your sons career, you need to lose the repulsive arsehole in your life.