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Original poster

My son wants to be a police officer

72 replies

Cheesecake8 · 27/06/2019 13:23

My son is 14 and he has decided he would like to be a police officer when he is old enough. I feel this is a good respectful job and he will help people.
My sons dad has a different view from myself and has told my son it's a shit job, no body will trust him as no one trusts the police, he wont have any friends, he wont has time to socialise not that it matters as he will have no friends and that he would be a pig and then oinking at my son.
Is this true, is being a police officer such a bad choice in career ?

OP posts:

IThrewItOnTheGround · 27/06/2019 17:39

Well, that is true about West Yorkshire police. I belonged to a neighbouring force, and even to us they had a reputation for institutional racism, misogyny and corruption. It seems to be even more open now that they're acting as attack dogs for particular lobbyists, and the way they deal with the legalised red light zone in Holbeck. If your son is looking to join them, I would actively encourage him away from it, tbh, or try to get him to look at a different force.

BubblesBuddy · 27/06/2019 17:44

I do not think most people fear them, but they do find their attitude unacceptable at times. The Police seem to have friends within the Police and that leads to an insular view of the world where bad behaviour is not checked and called out. One of the rudest Police Officers I have ever spoken to was a woman who complained about the fact I had to speak to her about an assult. I came away thinking it must have been my fault and it was trivial.

Bluntness100 · 27/06/2019 17:44

Your partner is a wanker. I'm sorry but he is. And the type of people who don't like the police are the type of people your. Son should be glad to not be associated with. Except his father is one of those.

A ihave. Family and friends who are senior police officers and their social circle is huge. But they don't hang around with low life's. They nick em.

Alysanne · 27/06/2019 18:43

I had family in the police force and they loved it and retired with good pensions. I myself work in the railway and they are always after ex-police as they are regimented and used to working unsociable hours. So the option is there if he decided to leave the force or when he retires. There is also the option of the BTP? A lad at our station who volunteers just got made permanent.

It's good your son has one parent that supports him, he'll remember that.

Original poster

Cheesecake8 · 27/06/2019 19:36

I'm very glad I posted. I have said to dp that teenagers are more likely to do the things we tell them not to. I have also said to ds that I'm proud of his choice and that I support him, I suggested to him to stay on at school and do his A levels then he can go on to university where he will get some life experience of his own along side the police cadets. I'm pleased to see other people have suggested similar.
Dp goes to the pub most nights were as I stay at home and enjoy reading fiction books hence the lack of life experience, I was also more of a career growing up so again didnt do the same stuff other teenagers my age did. But a few years ago on a rare occasion I did go out for an evening, i was helping a drunk lady home and a man came along to help me. After we had got her home we began to chat and it turned out he was a police officer, I've always thought that it was a great thing to do and I didnt feel any sort of mistrust to the man for knowing his job.
Due to the way that my dp is I thought perhaps I was naive in thinking that other people would feel the same as me about police.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheesecake8 · 27/06/2019 19:37

*carer

OP posts:

Scott72 · 27/06/2019 19:40

Does he have the personality for the job? Is he self-confident, assertive?

Al203 · 27/06/2019 19:45

Your son has my respect and I don’t know him.

His father has my disrespect and I know him only too well. There are legions of his type.

That’s why we need good men.

Original poster

Cheesecake8 · 27/06/2019 19:50

Yes he is a confident boy, quick thinking, he is a big lad so will step in if he sees a kid being bullied.

OP posts:

SometimesMaybe · 27/06/2019 20:06

Sounds like the perfect attributes to being a police officer. Confident and kind.

Like others have said, he will benefit from “life experience” so definitely uni/college and perhaps working abroad for a year or so or at home post eduction. Giving him real life examples of difficult situations where he has to remain calm and problem solve.

A very honourable career.

EKGEMS · 27/06/2019 20:08

Dear god what a lovely, kind, compassionate man you've chosen as father of your child! Your son sounds far more mature than his idiot father

MissConductUS · 27/06/2019 20:48

The first British television series I ever watched was Foyle's War. He was the essence of a kind, decent man who also happened to be a very astute and effective policeman.

I loved that show.

Lindy2 · 27/06/2019 20:53

I'd say anyone who isn't friends with someone because they are in the police, isn't worth being friends with in the first place.
Your son sounds like a great sensible boy. Your ex sounds like a prat.

Cynara · 27/06/2019 21:02

Your son sounds fabulous and your ex sounds like a dick, so I'm very reluctant to give a negative view but my take on this is as follows: I'm a paramedic and we love the police, they do a sterling job in the most challenging conditions and I gave never worked with a police officer who didn't inspire my respect. They have endless patience and compassion paired with grit and courage and honesty I'm in awe of them. However. I have a 5 year old DS and I know that his dad (also a paramedic) and I will do all we can to steer him away from a career in public services. I'd hate him to become a paramedic or police officer. There's no doubt that they are honourable professions but the modern realities of the job added to the ignorant attitudes of the public (as evidenced by your ex) make them more hassle than they're worth.

xpc316e · 27/06/2019 21:14

I would rather have one Police Officer as a friend than twenty like your child's father.

I was proud to spend my working life wiping society's backside as a copper. The overwhelming majority of the people with whom I worked were decent humans doing a tough job. Some of them made errors, but I do not recognise as the racists, etc., that some of the posters believe them to be.

It was and is a great job; I would encourage your son to go after his ambition.

Incidentally, I am interested in knowing what his father has achieved in his life/career.

PaterPower · 27/06/2019 21:44

I’ve had three experiences with the police. Other than occasionally going above 70 on the motorway, I have never knowingly broken the law.

I was illegally detained the first time and held by the neck. I’d done nothing - I was just walking from a friend’s house back to my own and he decided he’d stop and “question” me. Total tosser and arrogant as hell with it. My complaint was ignored.

Second and third time I had to call on them for help, both involving assaults with obvious physical injuries by a (now ex) partner. They couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough on both occasions. Completely uninterested in helping me.

Who knows, maybe that’s because I was a man being assaulted by a (heavier and as tall as me) woman. But then I’ve heard they’re not very interested in helping women either, so who knows.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 28/06/2019 08:12

In a previous job I had to work alongside the police quite frequently. They were great - really nice decent people. One of my best friends used to be a DC with the Met - she's one of the nicest people I know.

Your DH sounds like an unpleasant man.

Bezalelle · 28/06/2019 08:19

Ask him to have a look into the myriad historic and contemporary cases of abuse, malpractice and structural racism/misogyny in the police and see if he's still interested. if so, disown him

ProteinshakesandAntonsbum · 28/06/2019 08:27

Family and friends who are senior police officers and their social circle is huge. But they don't hang around with low life's. They nick em.

And they work with plenty of them.

I am not against police officers. Many of them are good people. It can be a good career.

But to pretend that the police nick all the low lifestyle they meet and dont hang around with is very naive. They spend alot of time working with some low lifestyle, every day.

TheStuffedPenguin · 28/06/2019 08:41

Why are you with a man who has these ( lack of ) values , lack of respect for your son and as for the "oinking" - I have no words.

PaterPower · 28/06/2019 08:56

The Krays knew plenty of Policemen. Paid more than a few off, too and (before anyone says it) corruption didn’t stop at the end of the 70’s. Or 80’s, 90’s etc.

I’d jump in to help a policeman out if he or she was in trouble, but it’s been a long time since I would automatically trust one, in the way I was brought up to. And that’s a massive shame.

Lilymossflower · 28/06/2019 09:01

Sounds like his dad is the issue here !

Seriously !

His reaction is no way to react to your child telling you they want to be a policeman when they grow up, its so undermining, and untrue . ! Could make massive insecurities in son

Maybe he is afraid of his son becoming more powerful than him. He should be happy for his son and supportive instead.

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