Married but love my ex husband

[Darkly13]

Hi I am married but I am still in love with my ex husband!! I was married to my ex husband for 10 years, I’m remarried now 2 years in but I am still in love with my first husband! And it’s killing me inside.. I don’t know what to do 🥺

Why did it end? What situation is your ex in? Do you think he feels the same? Do you have children with either?

It may be that your current relationship is going that well at the min so it is easier to look back and feel the grass was greener. There will have been bad parts and there must have been a good reason for it to end.

Did you know you loved him when you got married the second time?

How is the second marriage?

I am inclined to think you dont love exh, that you are looking back through those tinted glasses, this marriage may have some issues and you forgot all the issues in your last marriage.

My ex moved away for work .. and I guess we started to drift apart.. silly reasons really.. we still talk a lot. I don’t know if he would want to try again but I do know it’s him I love.. my now husband is a lovely man but I know I don’t feel the same kind of love I do for my ex..

So why did you marry the second one?

What is the ex relationship status?

He moved away for work. Do you mean he worked away and came home at weekends etc. Or he literally just lived away.

Its seems very odd that, given you loved him you didnt try resolving that instead of divorce.

I did know I still loved my ex but I didn’t know I was still in love with him, and I guess I though we were over for good.. so when I re married I just pushed it to the back of my mind and got on with it, I do love my now husband but not in the same way and I just don’t know if I can be truly happy feeling this way

Yeah moved away and I guess I thought I loved my new husband but obvious not.. I should have tried to sort out my first marriage I know that now but I guess at the time I was stupid

Tough one

Not fair to your new husband to be second best. Would be kinder to let him find someone who loves him the most.

No children with them

Yes and I agree and feel so terrible.. but can’t help the feelings I have

If it was so good would you have spilt up over such small reasons? You say you put it to the back of your mind. Is there any reason you have suddenly stopped being able to do this?

Only you can decide what to do but it is best to seriously question yourself. Make sure it isn't hormones or anything getting to you either x

My new husband is very happy he has no idea what feeling I hold for my ex and everything Is good at home but deep down I’m very unhappy

Maybe you need some time away from both. Could you take a holiday with a girlfriend? Not fair to remain with new dh if you are not in love with him and are in love with ex but how does exh feel about you now? You might feel happier on your own OP, especially as no children involved. If you are not in love with dh now how does future with him look ahead of you?

What is your ex relationship status?

Even if you got back with your exh there is nothing to say it will be the same as it used to be. Or the same as the picture in your head.

Maybe you need to decide whether to end your current relationship if your aren't happy. Deal with one issue at a time. It then gives you time to address if the problem is really exh or just your unhappiness in your current relationship if you decide to end it.

Thanks, I don’t know what changed., the only thing I can think is I saw a photo of him and the second I saw it my heart just melted.. and I knew I wasn’t over him and still loved him.. I’m very stupid and feel terrible about it for my new husband.. I’m not saying I’m going to leave and go running back to my ex but I don’t know what to do with the feeling I have and worried I will never be truly happy

He is still single

everyone makes "mistakes". lifes too short to wake up in 40 years still feeling the way you do today. Also you are denying your current husband true love. He needs to find someone who thinks about him the way you do your ex.

Well in all honestly I don't think anyone is ever truly happy. So please don't ruin what you have by chasing after this. There are also so many other aspects to your life that can make you happy other than your relationship. So make sure you aren't focusing your attention in the wrong direction.

As for your feelings. You could always try putting some extra effort into your current relationship. It may lessen those feelings or at least make you face up to them.

It is ok to have painful feelings though. It isn't nice but it is part of being human. Sometimes just acknowledging them and accepting they are there is enough.

You can either leave your husband and try to get back together with your ex.
Or you can accept that’s just the way it is.
Or you can attempt to exert control over your emotions.
The first and last options may have a limited chance of success, in your place I would accept and move on.

Time apart sounds good... and to be honest I’m thinking maybe better off on my own if I’m not happy with my husband .. with or without my ex I feel I would be better off leaving

Thank you

I think that sounds like good judgement. It's also better to end things amicably if you really don't feel your heart is in the relationship. Much better than waiting until things get nasty x

Your husband doesn’t deserve to be led on so I agree that ending things is for the best if no children involved

I think that's a good decision. Your husband deserves someone who does love him more than anyone else.

Not trying to put you down, you cant help how you feel. But he deserves more.

And you deserve to not be in a relationship where you are unhappy.

The thing is we can love many people and there will always be lots of things you miss about someone even when it didn't work out. But you did leave him so I'm not sure I would go running back.