He wants a break

[Justneedtotalk2019]

Been with my boyfriend for over 3 years, we don't live together and live about an hour away from each other.

Things have been difficult lately and we haven't seen as much of each other as usual for various reasons.

He's now saying he wants a break and originally asked for 2 weeks no contact, I told him I couldn't do this so we're are doing a week but I'm struggling so bad, this is a person I've spoken to every day for 3 years. I'm scared he's not going to miss me and that it's over.

He kept saying he loves me when we spoke and that he's never met anyone that he gets on with as well as he does me and that he's worried about the living situation as we can't really afford for me to move there.

Is it hopeless, do I need to just pull myself together and accept that it's probably over? So far I've managed to not message him but I'm not eating or sleeping and I feel like part of me is missing, I realise this sounds so ridiculous but I love him so much.

If after this week’s ‘break’ or whatever it is, he just wants to go back to normal - will you be ok with that? Can you forgive him for imposing this on you and making you feel this way/leaving you hanging? Wouldn’t you just be more insecure and wondering when he’s next going to say that he ‘needs a break’? I know I would be.

Honestly I don't know, I don't know how I'm meant to trust that he wouldn't do this again. He knows I've been struggling with my mental health and to then do this, I'm not sure he's the person I thought he was.

Your head is right He has somebody else.
End it now and keep your dignity.

Oh dear sorry you have been left to drive yourself crazy for a week wondering what is happening 🙁

It is very unkind of him. A break shouldn't need to be completely no contact - that's a break up surely?

My ex did this and it turned out she met someone else.

She wanted to use a 2 week break to work out if she should get with the new girl all not.

It's horrible and unfair. I'd seriously prepare yourself for heartache.

If he really loved you he wouldn't do this. A break should be a 2 way decision.

I'd end it now as you're going to spend these 2 weeks trying to figure out every little thing.

You need to regain some control over the situation.

Well, he's being a bit of a wuss about it, but I think he's trying to let you down gently because he can't face what he expects you to do if he just tells you you're dumped.
I don't think you're a bad person or abusive or anything, but you are coming across as very, very needy and it sounds like he's had enough but thinks it's kinder to pretend he just needs a break. The fact that you have been calling him repeatedly and are getting friends to call him as well does rather suggest that he has a point.

The reality is, he wants to sort his head out and the break he needs is from you.

You’re so much better than that

I’ve had an awful few months resulting in my daughter being in hospital and his lack of support has really shown.

OP, he has let you down by not showing support during the crisis with your daughter...and now he pulls this stunt. It does sound like he is checking out of the relationship.

I would have to make this ‘break’ permanent.

Fair enough, I'm too needy, I get that, I won't be checking back as I don't need to be criticised when I'm feeling this way. I haven't actually got anyone else to call him, I tried his work phone and it went straight to voicemail so was concerned.

I think it's fair to say it's over, just wish he would be honest and upfront and not play games by telling me he still loved me.

Thanks to all the helpful comments.

This happened to my friend but the wedding was booked for the following summer, looking at houses 2, he went to

Turkey for a nose job 😱 apparently was too embarrassed to say so, she dumped him anyway

So there you go, he's off having a nose job and the good thing is you only need a haircut!

Hi OP how did the "break" go?